spoof

1.      Chiaaat….CRRACKK!
I’m a member of a martial art organization at school. one day, our organization arranged a martial art demonstrasion for student to persuade them into joining our organization. I was chosen as one of the permormers to perforn some of the martial art movement. during my performance, when I was doing a high kick,suddenly I heard a loud sound, “CRRACKK!!!” Oh my god ! my pants were torn apart at the buttock. Everyone laughed at me. I could only stand there with a blood red face. next thing I knew, I was running toward the toilet. Never again will I perform those movement in front of an audience.

             Chiaaat .... CRRACKK!

Saya adalah anggota dari sebuah organisasi seni bela diri di sekolah. suatu hari, organisasi kami mengatur demonstrasion seni bela diri bagi siswa untuk membujuk mereka ke dalam bergabung dengan organisasi kami. Saya dipilih sebagai salah satu permormers untuk perforn beberapa gerakan seni bela diri. selama pertunjukan saya, ketika saya melakukan tendangan tinggi, tiba-tiba aku mendengar suara keras, "CRRACKK!" Ya Tuhan! celana saya robek terpisah di pantat. Semua orang tertawa padaku. Aku hanya bisa berdiri di sana dengan wajah darah merah. Hal berikutnya yang aku tahu, aku berlari ke arah toilet. Pernah lagi akan aku melakukan gerakan yang di depan penonton.

sources: C’NS Magazine
Vol.3 No.21 January – February 2004

•  

By: Khaerunnisa XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009
at 6:04 am

2. Kick My Ass During Flag Ceremony
   It happaened when I was still in junior high . that day, august 17, 1995, and I had to be at school before 7 am but I woke up late. Everything was I rush that morning. I skipped breakfast so that I wouldn’t be late at school. I had to perform in the ceremony since I was a member of PASKIBRA. Because I rushed through everything, I didn’t pay attention to what I wore to school. This proved to be an embarrasment for me. During the flag ceremony, almost all student were laughing.i didn’t know that they were laughing at me until one of my teachers told me that instead of wearing a uniform, I wore my home short wich were in the same color as my uniform. What made it worse, it had a “ Kick My Ass”sign written on its butt. I swear that was the day that I won’t ever forget for the rest of my life.

  My Kick Ass Selama Upacara Bendera

Hal happaened ketika saya masih di SMP. hari itu, 17 Agustus 1995, dan aku harus berada di sekolah sebelum 07:00 tapi saya bangun terlambat. Semuanya Saya terburu-buru pagi itu. Aku melewatkan sarapan sehingga aku tidak akan terlambat di sekolah. Aku harus tampil di acara tersebut karena aku adalah anggota PASKIBRA. Karena aku bergegas melalui segala sesuatu, aku tidak memperhatikan apa yang saya kenakan ke sekolah. Hal ini terbukti menjadi malu bagi saya. Selama upacara bendera, hampir semua siswa yang laughing.i tidak tahu bahwa mereka menertawakan aku sampai salah seorang guru saya mengatakan bahwa bukannya memakai seragam, saya memakai rumah pendek saya yang berada di warna yang sama seperti seragam saya . Apa yang membuat lebih buruk, itu memiliki "Kick My Ass" tanda tertulis di pantat nya. Saya bersumpah bahwa adalah hari yang saya tidak akan pernah lupa untuk sisa hidup saya.

Cn’s magazine vol.3 no.21 january-february 2004

By: susanti XI ips 1 on March 3, 2009
at 6:14 am

3. SAFETY FIRST

One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school- a technology vocational school. the instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building site, such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. he also mentioned that we must always put on our seatbelt in a car. then we all were given chance to try on those safety gadgets.
when the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends. We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex.
I sat in the front seat, Next to the Driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my head facing my friends in the back.
“Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!” to my surprise, their exploded into laughter.
“Hey, come on guys. You know that that I’m right,” I said to defend myself.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. but you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car.!”
My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had beeb wearing. I opened the car door and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words: safety first

            KESELAMATAN PERTAMA

Satu hari setelah kelas, ada latihan keamanan di teknologi sekolah saya sekolah kejuruan. instruktur menunjukkan pentingnya peralatan keselamatan mengenakan di situs bangunan, seperti helm, sepatu keselamatan, dan sarung tangan. ia juga menyebutkan bahwa kita selalu harus mengenakan sabuk pengaman kami di dalam mobil. maka kita semua diberi kesempatan untuk mencoba pada mereka gadget keselamatan.

saat latihan berakhir, teman saya dan saya berjalan ke mobil salah satu teman saya. Kami selalu pulang bersama karena kita hidup di kompleks perumahan yang sama.

Aku duduk di kursi depan, samping Driver. Saya melengkung sabuk pengaman, dan aku memutar kepalaku menghadapi teman-teman saya di belakang.

"Jangan lupa goyah atas, guys! Jangan lupa, keselamatan pertama "saya terkejut!, Mereka meledak menjadi tawa.

             "Hei, ayolah guys. Kau tahu bahwa aku benar, "kataku membela diri.

            "Yeah, yeah. Kau benar. tetapi Anda tidak harus mengenakan helm di dalam mobil.! "

Saya wah! Saya lupa melepas helm saya Beeb mengenakan. Aku membuka pintu mobil dan berlari untuk kembali helm. Dengan wajah merah, tentu saja.

Sejak saat itu, teman-teman saya telah menggoda saya dengan kata-kata: keamanan pertama

sources: C’NS Magazine
Vol.7 No.12 January-February 2007

•  

By: Maya iin Andiyani XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009
at 6:22 am

4. Stop Drinking That

when I was Travelling with my classmate, suddenly we felt very Thirsty, and then wa gave a Soft Drink. but when i was drinking i found the taste of the soft drink is so sour.
so Quickly i said to my friends” Stop Drinking That, because this soft Drink is already to expired”

but, i heared a voice Shouting “you fools, this soft drink, expired not this year, but next year”
so i ask to my friends” why the taste of the soft Drink is so sour? ”
so my friends said” the taste of the soft Drink is so sour because this is a New Lime Flavour from this Soft Drink”

and after that i became so shy and also my friends Laught to me…:-)

Berhenti Minum Itu

ketika aku Bepergian dengan teman sekelas saya, tiba-tiba kita merasa sangat haus, dan kemudian wa memberikan Soft Drink. tetapi ketika saya sedang saya minum menemukan rasa minuman ringan sangat asam.

jadi saya cepat berkata kepada teman-teman saya "Berhenti Minum itu, karena ini lembut Minum sudah dapat berakhir"

tetapi, saya mendengar suara Berteriak "Anda bodoh, ini minuman ringan, kedaluwarsa tidak tahun ini, tapi tahun depan"

             jadi saya meminta untuk teman-teman saya "mengapa rasa lembut Minuman          begitu asam? "

jadi teman-teman saya mengatakan "rasa lembut Minuman begitu asam karena ini adalah baru Lime Flavour dari Soft Drink"

dan setelah saya yang menjadi begitu malu dan juga teman-teman saya Laught kepada saya ... :-)

Source: C’N'S Magazine
Vol.4 No. 30 February-March 2005

•  

By: Siti Kurnia on March 3, 2009
at 6:26 am

5. Pull, Not Push

A years ago, i visited my aunt in Jakarta. She showed me around and took me shooping at some malls. I was really awestruck by the glamorous malls. While windows-shooping with her, nature called. My aunt showed me the rest room. She didn’t come in, she waited outside. I entered one of the cubicles. When I’d finished, i tried to open the cubicles door. I pushed, pushed, and pushed again. Nothing happened. I started to get panicky. I ttied to push again. Zero, I cried out my auntie’s name several times. I heard her coming, but she sounded panicky, too. I said I couldn’t open the door. Abruptly, in one fling, the door was wide open. I heard people burst into laughter. Not knowing to what happened, I stepped out of the cubicle. Later I found out that I was supposed to pull, not push the door. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Tarik, Bukan Push

Beberapa tahun yang lalu, saya mengunjungi bibi saya di Jakarta. Dia menunjukkan saya berkeliling dan membawa saya berbelanja di beberapa mal. Aku benar-benar terpesona oleh mal glamor. Sementara jendela-shooping dengan dia, yang disebut alam. Bibiku menunjukkan saya kamar kecil. Dia tidak datang, dia menunggu di luar. Aku memasuki salah satu bilik. Ketika saya sudah selesai, saya mencoba untuk membuka pintu bilik. Aku mendorong, mendorong, dan mendorong lagi. Tidak ada yang terjadi. Saya mulai mendapatkan panik. Aku ttied untuk mendorong lagi. Zero, aku berteriak nama tante saya beberapa kali. Aku mendengar datang, tapi dia terdengar panik juga. Saya berkata saya tidak bisa membuka pintu. Tiba-tiba, dalam satu melemparkan, pintu terbuka lebar. Aku mendengar orang-orang meledak tawa. Tidak tahu apa yang terjadi, aku melangkah keluar dari bilik. Kemudian saya menemukan bahwa aku harus menarik, tidak mendorong pintu. Aku ingin tanah menelan saya.

Source : C’N'S Magazine
Vol. 4 No. 30 February-March 2005

•  

By: Indah Mentari kls : XI.IPS.1 on March 3, 2009
at 6:39 am

6. Safety First

One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school – a technology vocational school. The instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building site, such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. He also mentioned that we must always put on our seatbelt in a car. Then we all were given a chance to try on those safety gadgets.

When the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends. We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex. I sat in the front seat, next to the driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my head facing my friends in the back.

“ Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!”
to my surprise, their exploded into laughter.
“ Hey, come on, guys. You know that I’m right, “ I said to defend myself.
“ Yeah, yeah. You’re right. But you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car!”

My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had been wearing. I opened the car door and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words.

             Safety First

Satu hari setelah kelas, ada latihan keamanan di sekolah saya - teknologi sekolah kejuruan. instruktur menunjukkan pentingnya memakai alat keselamatan di situs bangunan, seperti helm, sepatu keselamatan, dan sarung tangan. Dia juga menyebutkan bahwa kita selalu harus mengenakan sabuk pengaman kami di dalam mobil. Kemudian kami semua diberi kesempatan untuk mencoba pada mereka gadget keselamatan.

Ketika bor selesai, teman-teman saya dan saya berjalan ke mobil salah satu teman saya. Kami selalu pulang bersama karena kita hidup di kompleks perumahan yang sama. Aku duduk di kursi depan, sebelah sopir. Saya melengkung sabuk pengaman, dan aku memutar kepalaku menghadapi teman-teman saya di belakang.

             "Jangan lupa goyah atas, guys! Jangan lupa, keselamatan pertama! "

            mengherankan saya, mereka meledak menjadi tawa.

             "Hei, ayolah, guys. Kau tahu bahwa aku benar, "kataku membela diri.

             "Yeah, yeah. Kau benar. Tapi Anda tidak harus mengenakan helm di dalam mobil! "

Saya wah! Saya lupa melepas helm saya telah memakai. Aku membuka pintu mobil dan berlari untuk kembali helm. Dengan wajah merah, tentu saja.

            Sejak saat itu, teman-teman saya telah menggoda saya dengan kata-kata.

Source : C’nS Magazine
Vol. 8 No.61 February-March 2009

•  

By: Tri Suciyanti Class : XI Science on March 3, 2009
at 12:05 pm

7. The Falling Fruits

Following a big fruit harvest in the area where i used to live, my parents brought home a lot of duku, durian, and rambutan. There were so many of them, we still had bags of fruits even after sharing them with neighbours. Having a date with friends, i decided to bring her some. Carrying a plastic bag full of duku, i got on the bus. I was running late so when i got to my bus stop, i quickly jumped off the bus. As i did so, the plastic bag holding the dukus broke open and the small round fruits rolled all over the street. Silly me, instead of leaving them alone, i went to all the trouble of picking each and every duku off the street. Oncoming cars had to stop and wait for me to collect the dukus. All the passengers were smiling broadly at my stupidity.

The Falling Buah

Setelah panen buah yang besar di daerah di mana saya dulu tinggal, orang tua saya membawa pulang banyak duku, durian, dan rambutan. Ada begitu banyak dari mereka, kami masih memiliki kantong buah-buahan bahkan setelah berbagi dengan tetangga. Memiliki i kencan dengan teman-teman, memutuskan untuk membawanya beberapa. Membawa tas plastik penuh duku, saya naik bus. Aku terlambat sehingga ketika saya tiba di halte bus saya, saya cepat-cepat melompat dari bus. Sebagai i melakukannya, kantong plastik memegang dukus pecah terbuka dan buah bulat kecil berguling di seluruh jalan. Silly saya, bukannya meninggalkan mereka sendirian, saya pergi ke semua kesulitan memetik setiap duku dari jalanan. mobil-mobil yang lewat harus berhenti dan menunggu saya untuk mengumpulkan dukus. Semua penumpang tersenyum lebar pada kebodohan saya.

RIZKA, PALEMBANG

Sumber : CNS ENGLISH MAGAZINE Vol. 8 No 13

By: Frans G. XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009
at 2:10 am

Funny Story

OUT In the Woods

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the dep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator,”My friend is dead!
What can I do?”
The operator , in a calm and soothing voice,says,” Alright,take it easy. I can help. First,l easy make sure he’s dead.”there is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line.”Ok.Now what?”

            Funny Story

             OUT Dalam Woods

Beberapa pemburu di hutan di dep selatan ketika salah satu dari mereka jatuh ke tanah. Dia tidak tampak bernapas, dan matanya yang digulung kembali di kepalanya. Orang lain cambuk dari ponselnya dan panggilan 911. Dia terengah-engah untuk operator, "Teman saya sudah mati!

             Apa yang bisa saya lakukan? "

Operator, dengan suara tenang dan menenangkan, mengatakan, "Baiklah, ambillah mudah. Saya dapat membantu. Pertama, aku mudah pastikan dia mati "ada keheningan, dan kemudian ditembak pistol terdengar.. Pemburu datang kembali di telepon "Ok.Now apa?".

Magazine: C&S
Volume: 6
Nunber: 46
Date: march 2007

By: NOVI INDRIYANTI XI IS_2 on March 4, 2009
at 5:43 am

8. PIG STORY

Zelko was know for his arrogance. He thought himself the smartest guy arround and looked down on everyone from the village head to the lowliest farmhand. one day he was walking home dragging behind him a goat he’d bought at the market when he met Dumba, the village idiot. As soon as Dumba spotted Zelko with the goat, he yelled, “hey, what are you doing with that pig?” Zelko started to laugh and said scornfully. “you fool! no wonder they call you the village idiot. This is a goat, not a pig, you Dumbhead!”
Dumba gazed at him in bewilderment and said, “sorry, Zelko, but i wasn’t talking to you. I was talking the goat!”

BABI CERITA

Zelko yang tahu kesombongan. Dia berpikir dirinya diseluruh orang cerdas dan memandang rendah semua orang dari kepala desa ke buruh tani terendah. suatu hari ia sedang berjalan pulang menyeret belakangnya seekor kambing yang dibelinya di pasar ketika ia bertemu Dumba, idiot desa. Begitu melihat Dumba Zelko dengan kambing, ia berteriak, "hey, apa yang kamu lakukan dengan babi itu?" Zelko mulai tertawa dan mencemooh. "Anda bodoh! tak heran mereka menyebut Anda idiot desa. Ini adalah seekor kambing, bukan babi, Anda Dumbhead! "

Dumba menatapnya dengan bingung dan berkata, "maaf, Zelko, tetapi saya tidak berbicara dengan Anda. Aku sedang berbicara kambing! "

sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11
date : 11 oktober-november 2002

By: Permata Sari Pratiwi class:XI is 2 on March 4, 2009
at 5:48 am

9. SEEING – EYE DOG

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing -eye dog one day .They come to a busy intersection and the dog ,ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming bye on the street ,leads the blind man right out into the thick of the traffic .This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down .The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog .
A passer by ,having observed the near fatal incident ,can’t control his amazenement and says to the blind man ,”why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie ? He nearly got you killed !”the blind man turns partially in his direction and replies ,”to find out where his head is,so i can kick his ass.”

MELIHAT - DOG EYE

Seorang buta sedang berjalan di jalan dengan anjing melihat-mata suatu hari Mereka datang ke persimpangan sibuk dan anjing, mengabaikan volume lalu lintas yang tinggi zoom tinggal di jalan,. Memimpin keluar pria yang tepat buta ke tebal lalu lintas. ini diikuti oleh decitan ban dan tanduk menggelegar sebagai driver panik berusaha mati-matian untuk tidak menjalankan pasangan ke bawah orang buta dan. anjing akhirnya mencapai keselamatan trotoar di sisi lain dari jalan dan orang buta itu menarik keluar cookie dari saku mantelnya yang ia menawarkan untuk anjing.

Seorang pelempar oleh, setelah mengamati kejadian fatal dekat, tidak dapat mengendalikan amazenement dan berkata kepada orang buta, "kenapa kau menyenangkan anjing Anda dengan kue? Dia hampir saja Anda membunuh "orang buta ternyata sebagian ke arahnya dan menjawab," untuk mencari tahu di mana kepalanya, sehingga saya bisa menendang pantatnya!. "

SOURCE :

MAGAZINE : N’SCHOOL N’ SMART
VOLUME : 2
NUMBER : 11
DATE : II OCTOBER – NOVEMBER 2002

By: LILIS SUSANTI CLASS XI.IPS .2 on March 4, 2009
at 5:50 am

10. Funny Story

John’Reason

At a shop,John, a six-year-old boy, stood beside his mother who was making a purchase. The shopkeeper told him to help himself to a handful of chocolate. But John Shook his head.
“Why? What’s the matter?” asked the shopkeeper.”Don’t you like chocolate?”
“yes.”replied John.
“Well,go ahead and take some.”
John hesitated. Later the shopkeeper himself put a handful of chocolate in John’ pocket.
When they left the shop, his mother asked, “why didn’t you take the chocolate yourself?”
“Because his hand is bigger than mine,” answered John.

             John'Reason

Di toko, John, seorang anak enam tahun, berdiri di samping ibunya yang sedang melakukan pembelian. penjaga toko memberitahu dia untuk membantu dirinya segenggam coklat. Tapi John Shook kepalanya.

            "Kenapa? Ada apa "tanya penjaga toko."? Apa kau tak suka cokelat? "

              "Ya." Jawab Yohanes.

             "Yah, pergi ke depan dan mengambil beberapa."

             John ragu-ragu. Kemudian penjaga toko sendiri meletakkan segenggam cokelat di saku John '.

Ketika mereka meninggalkan toko itu, ibunya bertanya, "mengapa Anda tidak mengambil cokelat sendiri?"

             "Karena tangannya lebih besar dari saya," jawab Yohanes.

Magazine : CONTACT

Volume: 7

Number: 40

date: NOVEMBER- DECEMBER 1999

•  

By: SITI MA'RIFAH XI IS_2 on March 4, 2009
at 5:55 am

11. Elementary, My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks, “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!”

Elementary, My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes dan Dr.Watson pergi pada perjalanan berkemah, mendirikan tenda mereka, dan jatuh tertidur. Beberapa jam kemudian, Holmes membangunkan sahabat yang setia.

"Watson, lihatlah ke langit dan katakan apa yang kamu lihat." Watson menjawab, "Saya melihat jutaan bintang."

              "Apa artinya itu?"

             Watson merenung sejenak. "Astronomi, ia memberitahu saya bahwa ada jutaan galaksi dan berpotensi milyaran planet. Astrologically, ia memberitahu saya bahwa Saturnus berada di Leo. Waktu bijaksana, tampaknya menjadi kira-kira seperempat terakhir tiga. Teologis, itu jelas Tuhan adalah maha kuasa dan kita yang kecil dan tidak signifikan. Meteorologically, tampaknya kita akan memiliki hari yang indah besok. Apa memberitahu Anda? "

Holmes terdiam sejenak, kemudian berbicara, "Watson, kau idiot, seseorang telah mencuri tenda kita!"           

Source : C&S Magazine
Vol. 6 No. 46 March 2007

By: Devi. Hermawati XI.IS-2 on March 4, 2009
at 5:56 am

12. TREE GORILLA

A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon serviceman arrived with a stick, a cihuahua (a rabbit-size breed of dog), a pair of handcuffs, and a shootgun. “now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner.” I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained cihuahua will then go right for his,
uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”
“got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shootgun for?”
“if I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said,” shoot the cihuahua.”

              POHON Gorilla

Seorang pria berjalan ke halaman belakang nya suatu pagi dan menemukan gorila di pohon. Ia menyebut layanan gorila-removal, dan segera reparasi tiba dengan tongkat, sebuah cihuahua (anjing ras kelinci-ukuran anjing), sepasang borgol, dan sebuah shootgun. "Sekarang dengarkan baik-baik," katanya kepada pemilik rumah "Aku akan memanjat pohon dan aduk gorila dengan tongkat ini sampai dia jatuh ke tanah.. Para cihuahua dilatih kemudian akan pergi tepat untuk nya,

eh daerah, sensitif, dan ketika gorila naluriah salib tangannya di depan untuk melindungi dirinya sendiri, Anda menampar di borgol. "

"Mendapatkannya," jawab pemilik rumah. "Tapi apa shootgun untuk?"        "Jika aku jatuh dari pohon sebelum gorila," kata orang itu, "cihuahua menembak itu."

sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11
Date : 11 oktober-november 2002

By: Faradilla class:XI is 2 on March 4, 2009
at 6:03 am

13. apprentice

A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps.After graduating from college and law school with honors,he returned home to join his father’s film,intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney. At the end of his father’s office,and said, “father,father the Smith case,which you always said would go on forever–the one you have been toiling on for ten years–in one single day,I settled that case and saved the client a fortune”
His father frowned,and scolded him,” I didn’t say that it WOULD go on forever,son. I said that it COULD go on forever,When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, Didn’t it ever occur to you that I was being paid by the hour?

magang

Seorang anak pengacara ternama bermimpi berikut di footsteps.After ayahnya lulus dari perguruan tinggi dan sekolah hukum dengan pujian, ia kembali ke rumah untuk bergabung dengan film ayahnya, bertekad membuktikan dirinya sebagai pengacara terampil dan layak. Pada akhir kantor ayahnya, dan berkata, "ayah, ayah kasus Smith, yang Anda selalu mengatakan akan pergi selamanya satu yang Anda telah bekerja keras selama sepuluh tahun-dalam satu hari, aku menetap bahwa kasus dan disimpan klien keberuntungan "

Ayahnya mengerutkan kening, dan memarahi dia, "Saya tidak mengatakan bahwa hal itu AKAN berlangsung selamanya, Nak. Saya mengatakan bahwa BISA berlangsung selamanya, Ketika Anda melihat saya bekerja keras pada kasus selama berhari-hari dan minggu pada satu waktu, Bukankah itu pernah terjadi kepada Anda bahwa saya dibayar per jam?

sumber : Cn’S English magazine vol 8 No.61
date:31 January-febuari 2009
page:36

By: Chandra pangestu, XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 6:09 am

14. NASTY BUG

Every night,Harold would go down to the liquor store,get a six pack,bring it at home and drink it while he watched TV.One night as finished his last beer.the door bell rang.he stumble to the door and found six foot cockroach standing there.The Bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room,and left

The next night,after he finished his 3th beer,The door bell rang.
He Walked slowly to the door ad found the same six foot cockroach standing there.The big bug punched him in the stomach,then left.

The next night,after he finished his 1st beer,the door bell rang again.the same six foot cockroach was standing there. this time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain.Then the big bug left.

the fourth night Harold didn’t drink at all.The doorbell rang.The cockroach was standing there.the bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Harold went to see his doctor.He explained events of the preceding four nights.”What can I do? he pleaded.

“not much”the doctors replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”

Nasty BUG

Setiap malam, Harold akan pergi ke toko minuman keras, mendapatkan six pack, bawa di rumah dan minum sementara dia tonton malam selesai TV.One sebagai pintu terakhir lonceng tersandung rang.he beer.the ke pintu dan menemukan enam kecoa kaki berdiri Bug there.The mencengkeram kerah dan melemparkannya ke seberang ruangan, dan kiri

             Malam berikutnya, setelah ia selesai bir 3th, The bel pintu berbunyi.

Dia Berjalan perlahan ke pintu menemukan iklan kecoa enam sama kaki berdiri bug besar there.The meninju di perut, lalu pergi.

Malam berikutnya, setelah ia selesai bir 1 nya, bel pintu berbunyi again.the sama enam kecoa kaki berdiri di sana. kali ini ia lutut di selangkangan dan tekan belakang telinga saat ia dua kali lipat selama di pain.Then bug besar kiri.

malam keempat Harold tidak minum kecoa rang.The bel all.The berdiri bug there.The mengalahkan keluar ingus dari Harold dan meninggalkannya di tumpukan di lantai ruang tamu.

Hari berikutnya, Harold pergi menemui doctor.He nya menjelaskan peristiwa empat malam sebelumnya "Apa yang bisa saya lakukan.? ia memohon.

              "Tidak banyak" jawab dokter. "Hanya ada bug buruk terjadi di sekitar."

http://www.funnystory.com

By: sarimaya X1.IS.1 on March 4, 2009
at 6:32 am

15. Lost and Never Found

My dad is a golf freak. Since he likes to ask me to accompany him playing golf, I’m getting crazy about it, too. Besides playing it, I also like to join golf tourments. in the last tournament i joined, some thing embarssing happened to me.

in the middleof the game, my ball landed in a mud pond. not wanting to give up, I approached the pond and tried to find the ball with my club. After about five minutes. I still couldn’t find my ball, but worse, i couldn’t pull out my club. it seemedto be stuck on something. I waded into the pond and groped around with my hand, trying to find the ball. Then igave up! I got out of the pond and found out that i hadn’t only lost my ball and my club, but also my shoes. I was very embarassed because all the people were watchung.!

Hilang dan Tidak Ditemukan

Ayah saya adalah orang aneh golf. Karena dia suka meminta saya untuk menemaninya bermain golf, aku mulai tergila-gila juga. Selain bermain itu, saya juga ingin bergabung tourments golf. di i turnamen terakhir bergabung, beberapa hal embarssing terjadi padaku.

di middleof permainan, bola saya mendarat di sebuah kolam lumpur. tidak ingin menyerah, saya mendekati kolam dan berusaha mencari bola dengan klub saya. Setelah sekitar lima menit. Aku masih belum bisa menemukan bola saya, tapi lebih buruk, saya tidak bisa menarik keluar klub saya. itu seemedto terjebak pada sesuatu. Aku mengarungi ke dalam kolam dan meraba-raba dengan tanganku, mencoba mencari bola. Kemudian igave up! Aku keluar dari kolam dan menemukan bahwa saya tidak hanya kehilangan bola saya dan klub saya, tapi juga sepatu saya. Saya sangat malu karena semua orang Watchung.!

Magazine : C’NS
Voleme : 31
Number : 17
date : juni 2004

By: Lucas Fernando XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009
at 6:42 am

16. the trouble maker

while visiting a country school, the chairman of the board of education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making the next room.
angrily, he opened the door ang grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of thetalking. He dragged the boys to the next room and stood him the corner.
A few minutes later , a small boy stuck hi head in the room and pleaded,” Please,sir,may we have our tacher back?”

             pembuat masalah

saat mengunjungi sebuah sekolah negeri, ketua dewan pendidikan menjadi memprovokasi di kebisingan siswa tegar sedang membuat kamar sebelah.

marah, ia membuka pintu ang meraih salah satu anak laki-laki lebih tinggi yang tampaknya melakukan sebagian besar thetalking. Dia menyeret anak-anak ke kamar sebelah dan menyuruh dia berdiri sudut.

Beberapa menit kemudian, seorang anak kecil terjebak hi kepala di ruangan itu dan memohon, "Tolong, Pak, mungkin kami telah tacher kita kembali?"

mAGAZINE c’ns
volume 1
no 1
13 maret 2001

By: nizar novri .y. XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009
at 6:52 am

17. Ferocious Lion

Bert was Tellinh his friend justin about his safari trip in Africa. “….. i came face to face with a ferocious Lion. He was snarling, showing mw his long sharp teeth.he was literally salivating at seeing me. man! I’d never been so scared before.”

” wow! I am glad i wasn’t in your shoes! so what happened next? did you shoot him?”

“No, I didn’t have my gun with me.”
“you didnt?oh man!that was really dumb.”

“Yeah, it was so stupid of me. Anyway,there I stood alone, without a gun. The Lion crept closer and closer and closer… and I …”Bert stooped and heaved a deep sigh. Impatiently, justin cried,”Come on, man! what did you do?

“His pal shrugged his showders and said, “what could I do? I moved on to the next cage.”

Singa ganas

Bert adalah teman Tellinh justin tentang perjalanan safari di Afrika. "... .. i berhadapan dengan Lion ganas. Dia menggeram, menunjukkan mw teeth.he panjang yang tajam benar-benar air liur di melihatku. manusia! Aku pernah begitu takut sebelumnya. "

"Wow! Saya senang saya tidak ada di sepatu Anda! sehingga apa yang terjadi berikutnya? kau menembaknya? "

             "Tidak, aku tidak punya pistol saya dengan saya."

             "Anda didnt oh?! Yang benar-benar bodoh."

"Ya, itu begitu bodoh dari saya. Pokoknya, disana aku berdiri sendirian, tanpa pistol. Singa merayap dekat dan dekat dan dekat ... dan aku ... "Bert membungkuk dan menghela napas dalam-dalam. Sabar, justin teriak, "Ayo, Bung! apa yang kau lakukan?

"Pal Nya showders mengangkat bahu dan berkata," apa yang bisa saya lakukan? Aku pindah ke kandang berikutnya. "

Source : C’Ns magazine
Volume : 2
Number :11
made : 24 August 2007

•  

By: Siti Umaiyah XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 6:53 am

18. OH BOY
    My 2-year-old nephew and I were queuing at a cashier in a department store when he tugged at my shirt with awful look on his face.

I asked him what was wrong and he very loudly said,”I think the lady in front of us farted,cause her butt stinks!”Everyone around us heard it.

I was so ashmed. I apologized to everyone,especially to the lady in front of me,and then pretended that I had forgotten something so we could just get uot of there quickly!!!

OH BOY

keponakan saya 2 tahun dan aku mengantri di kasir di sebuah department store ketika ia menarik-narik kemeja saya dengan melihat mengerikan di wajahnya.

Saya bertanya apa yang salah dan dia sangat keras berkata, Setiap orang "saya pikir wanita di depan kita kentut, menyebabkan bau pantatnya!" Di sekitar kita mendengarnya.

Aku begitu ashmed. Saya meminta maaf kepada semua orang, khususnya wanita di depan saya, dan kemudian berpura-pura bahwa saya telah melupakan sesuatu jadi kami hanya bisa UOT dari sana dengan cepat!

Sumber:CNS english Magazine vol.4 No.29
Date: January-February 2005
page: 65

•  

By: dini indri lestari XI.IS2 on March 4, 2009
at 6:55 am

19. BEAUTIFUL ME

i like teasing my sister, one day. when she was busy cramming for exams, i wore my mom’s earinng and put on her lipstick and started to tease my sister, i kept on teasing her until my mom yelled at me “Catur, leave your sister alone! you’d better go to the gas station to fill the tank of your dad’s motorcycle”

so off i went to the gas station . strangely, the people there were friendler than they usually are. they all smiled at me some of them laughed together.

on my way home, i saw my sister so asked her, “hey sis is there something wrong with me.?
it seems that everyone is so friendly and today. they all smiled and laughed at the gas station ”
my sister, suddenly burst out laughing and said “of course they were . you’re still wearing mom’s lipstick and earings”
“what?? Gosh!” i rode home in a hurry.

INDAH ME

saya suka menggoda kakak saya, suatu hari. ketika dia sedang sibuk menjejalkan untuk ujian, saya memakai earinng ibuku dan memakai lipstik dan mulai menggoda kakak saya, saya terus menggoda dia sampai ibuku berteriak padaku "Catur, meninggalkan adik Anda sendiri! Anda akan lebih baik pergi ke pompa bensin untuk mengisi tangki sepeda motor ayahmu "

jadi off saya pergi ke pompa bensin. anehnya, orang-orang ada friendler daripada biasanya. mereka semua tersenyum padaku beberapa dari mereka tertawa bersama.

perjalanan pulang, saya melihat kakak saya jadi bertanya, "hey sis ada sesuatu yang salah dengan saya.?

tampaknya semua orang yang sangat ramah dan hari ini. mereka semua tersenyum dan tertawa di pom bensin "

adik saya, tiba-tiba tertawa terbahak-bahak dan berkata "tentu saja mereka. Anda masih memakai lipstik ibu dan Anting "

             "Apa? Astaga! "Naik i rumah terburu-buru.

Source :
Magazine Cool n Smart
Volume: 7
Number:55
Date: April – May 2008

By: yuLia inDaH PerTiWi XI IPS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 6:59 am

20. BEST IN THE LAND

A group of hikers are led through the US wilderness by a guide . on the third day, the hikers notice that they have been traveling in circles.
“we’re lost” one of the men complaints .
“i thought you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am” the guide answer,
“but i think we may have wandered into Canada”

TERBAIK DI ATAS TANAH

Sekelompok pejalan kaki dipimpin melalui padang gurun AS oleh panduan. pada hari ketiga, pejalan kaki melihat bahwa mereka telah melakukan perjalanan di kalangan.

              "Kita kehilangan" salah satu keluhan laki-laki.

             "Saya pikir kau bilang kau adalah panduan terbaik di Amerika Serikat."

             "Saya" jawaban panduan,

             "Tapi saya pikir kami mungkin telah mengembara ke Kanada"

SOURCE

magazine : CNS
volume: 4
Date: 30 Maret2005

By: aDiTiYa Rukhiyat XI IPS 1 on March 4, 2009
at 7:08 am

21. HUMAN BOWLING BALL
    My schoolmates and i went alley. This was the first time i went bowling, so i tried several different techniques. One of them was running into the lane, which seemed to work for me. I used the techniques several times and i got good score. But i what didn’t realize was that at a certain poin the lane was very slippery because the floor was greased to help the ball go down the lane. I ran past the poin and ended up falling on my butt. Both my feet flew from under me and i slid halfway along the lane.

MANUSIA Bowling Ball

    teman sekolah saya dan saya pergi gang. Ini adalah pertama kalinya saya pergi bowling, jadi saya mencoba beberapa teknik yang berbeda. Salah satunya adalah berlari ke jalur, yang tampaknya bekerja untuk saya. Saya menggunakan beberapa teknik kali dan saya mendapat nilai yang baik. Tetapi saya apa yang tidak menyadari adalah bahwa pada poin tertentu jalur itu sangat licin karena lantai itu meminyaki untuk membantu bola turun jalan. Aku berlari melewati poin dan akhirnya jatuh di pantatku. Kedua kaki saya terbang dari bawah saya dan saya meluncur setengah jalan di sepanjang jalan.

Source: CNS Magazine
Volume: 4
Number: 29
Page: 65
Date: January-February 2005

By: Silvina Dewi Pratiwi XI.IS2 on March 4, 2009
at 7:09 am

22. Investigating a Terrible Accident

In a terrible accident there were no survivor except a monkey.Since there were no witnesses,the police could not determine. A last,they turned the monkey.Because the monkey seemed able to respond with gestures,the police officer decidedto interrogate.it

“what were the people doing on the bus?”
The monkey shakes his head in a disapproving manner and a starts dancing around, meaning a people were dancing and having fun”OK, but what else were they doing?”

The monkey take his hand to his mouth as if holding a bottle. “Oh! they were drinking, Huh?! OK, were they doing anything else?”

The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, mimicking singing.

The chief loses his patience, “if they were having such a great time, who was driving the bus then?”

The monkey cheerfully swings his arm around as if operating steering wheel.

             Investigasi Kecelakaan Terrible

Dalam sebuah kecelakaan yang mengerikan ada yang selamat ada kecuali monkey.Since di sana ada saksi, polisi tidak dapat menentukan. Sebuah terakhir, mereka memutar monkey.Because monyet tampak mampu merespon dengan gerak tubuh, yang interrogate.it polisi decidedto

              "Apa adalah orang-orang lakukan di bus?"

              Monyet menggeleng secara setuju dan mulai menari di sekitar, yang berarti orang menari dan bersenang-senang "OK, tapi apa lagi yang mereka lakukan?"

Monyet membawa tangannya ke mulutnya seolah-olah memegang botol. "Oh! mereka minum, Hah? OK, yang mereka lakukan hal lain? "

monyet itu mengangguk kepalanya dan mulutnya bergerak maju mundur, menirukan menyanyi.

Chief kehilangan kesabaran, "jika mereka memiliki waktu yang hebat, yang mengemudikan bus itu?"

    Monyet riang ayunan lengannya di roda kemudi seolah-olah operasi

Magazine ; C’nS
Volume ; 7
Number ; 55
Date ; April-may 2008

By: Wahyu Aprianto XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 7:14 am

23. The Three Wishes

The bear and the rabbit didnt like each other very much. One day, while they were walkinh through the woods, they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said:”Oh I dont often meet anyone in these parts. They were amazed that the frog had talked to them. The golden frog told them,” mind you,when I do meet someone I always give them three wishes. So you can have three wishes each.”

The Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.

“Done!”Said the frog.The rabbit,after thinking for a while, said,” I want a crash helmed.”One appeared immediately and he placed it on his head. The bears thougt the rabbit was a fool,but carried on with his second wish.
“I want all the bears in the neighboring forests to be females as well.” The frog granted his wish. The Rabbit then said,” I want a motorcycle.” It appeared before him, and he climbed on it and started revving the engine.

“Those were two of the stupides wishes I have ever heard,” The bear remarket scronfully. He then made his final wish, which was that all the other bears in the world were females as well,leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done,and they both turned to the rabbit for his last wish.

The Rabbit reffed engine, thought for a second, then said” I wish that Mr. Bear here was gay!”and rode of as fast as he could.”

Tiga Wishes

Beruang dan kelinci didnt saling menyukai sangat banyak. Suatu hari, sementara mereka walkinh melalui hutan, mereka menemukan kodok emas. katak itu berbalik kepada mereka dan berkata: "Oh saya tidak sering bertemu orang di daerah ini. Mereka kagum bahwa katak telah berbicara dengan mereka. Katak emas mengatakan kepada mereka, "pikiran Anda, ketika aku bertemu seseorang yang saya selalu memberi mereka tiga keinginan. Sehingga Anda dapat memiliki tiga keinginan masing-masing. "

             Beruang segera berharap bahwa semua beruang lainnya di hutan adalah wanita.

"Selesai!" Kata kelinci frog.The, setelah berpikir untuk beberapa saat, berkata, "Aku ingin crash helmed." Satu muncul segera dan dia meletakkannya di kepalanya. Beruang thougt kelinci bodoh, tetapi dilaksanakan dengan keinginan kedua.

"Saya ingin semua beruang di hutan tetangga menjadi perempuan juga." Katak diberikan keinginannya. Kelinci lalu berkata, "Aku ingin sepeda motor." Itu muncul di depannya, dan ia naik di atasnya dan mulai revving mesin.

"Mereka adalah dua dari stupides keinginan yang pernah saya dengar," Beruang itu remarket scronfully. Dia kemudian membuat keinginan terakhirnya, yang adalah bahwa semua beruang lain di dunia adalah wanita juga, meninggalkan dia sebagai hanya menanggung laki-laki di dunia. katak itu menjawab bahwa hal itu telah dilakukan, dan mereka berdua berbalik untuk kelinci untuk keinginan terakhir.

Mesin Rabbit reffed, berpikir sejenak, lalu berkata "Aku berharap bahwa Mr Bear di sini adalah gay!" Dan berkuda sebagai secepat mungkin. "

Source : C’Ns Magazine
Volume : 2
Number : 11
Made : 24 August 2007

By: Hilyatul Masun XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 7:16 am

24. Please cheat quiet

This happened when was in high school. One Monday morning, the economics teacher gave us a test.As usual, All the books were to be put inside our bags,which were to put inside the desk drawer.
In the middle of the best,I got stuck, I couldn’t think of anything.When I looked to the left, I saw my friend copying answers from a book. So I whispered to him to give me the answer to one of the problems.He wrote down the answer on a small piece of paper,crumpled it,and threw it to me.But it fell too far away from me.
I tried my best to reach the paper,but to no avail.Suddenly,CRASH! fell off my chair! Everybody , including the teacher,Was Shockred to hear that noise.Then they laughed so loudly till they cried.
Then my teacher approached me and whispered to me , “if you want to copy your friend’s answer,don’t make such a noise ,” it was the most embarrassing experience I’ve ever had.

Harap cheat tenang

Hal ini terjadi ketika masih di sekolah tinggi. Suatu Senin pagi, guru ekonomi memberi kami test.As biasa, Semua buku itu harus diletakkan di dalam tas kita, yang menempatkan di dalam laci meja.

Di tengah-tengah yang terbaik, aku terjebak, aku tidak bisa memikirkan anything.When saya melihat ke kiri, saya melihat teman saya menyalin jawaban dari buku. Jadi aku berbisik kepadanya untuk memberikan saya jawaban atas salah satu problems.He yang menuliskan jawabannya di selembar kertas kecil, kusut, dan melemparkannya ke me.But itu jatuh terlalu jauh dari saya.

Aku berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk mencapai kertas, tetapi tidak ada avail.Suddenly, CRASH! jatuh dari kursi saya! Semua orang, termasuk guru, Apakah Shockred mendengar bahwa noise.Then mereka tertawa begitu keras sampai mereka menangis.

Lalu guru saya mendekati saya dan berbisik kepada saya, "jika Anda ingin menyalin jawaban teman Anda, jangan membuat ribut," itu adalah pengalaman yang paling memalukan yang pernah saya miliki.

Magazine : cool n smart
Volume : 7
Number : 55
Date : April – Maret 2008

By: chairul anam XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 7:28 am

25. An Unforgettable Birthday Party

A party is usually something fun to remember. Mine was the opposite. The disaster occurred two years ago on my 14th birthday. My parents and my friends were in the living room, celebrating my big day. I was getting ready to blow out all of the candles on the cake. Being my usual clumsy self, I put my face right above the cake before puffing with all my might. All of a sudden I had candle wax all over my face. It was not too hot, but I was shocked, and I screamed. Looking at my face, everybody laughed. I was so embarrassed. What a birthday party !

              Sebuah Pesta Ulang Tahun Tak Terlupakan

Sebuah partai biasanya sesuatu yang menyenangkan untuk diingat. Punyaku sebaliknya. Bencana ini terjadi dua tahun yang lalu pada hari ulang tahun ke-14 saya. Orang tua saya dan teman saya berada di ruang tamu, merayakan hari besar saya. Aku sedang bersiap-siap untuk meniup semua lilin pada kue. Menjadi diri biasa canggung saya, saya meletakkan wajah kanan saya di atas kue sebelum mengisap dengan sekuat tenaga. Tiba-tiba saya lilin seluruh wajah saya. Itu tidak terlalu panas, tapi saya terkejut, dan aku berteriak. Melihat wajah saya, semua orang tertawa. Aku sangat malu. Apa sebuah pesta ulang tahun!

Source : C ‘N’ S Magazine
Vol.4 No. 30 February-March 2005

By: Ria Andrianingsih XI.IPS.2 on March 4, 2009
at 8:02 am

26. Super woman

I was hospitalized for a week. At lunch time, a hospital staff came to my room to deliver my lunch. The woman put the lunch tray on my bed. The menu was porridge, vegetable soup, beef and fruit. It wasn’t really appetizing but my doctor said that I needed some protein to speed up my recovery. So I decide to eat the beef. I didn’t know why but I couldn’t cut the beef with my spoon. Oh well…. Maybe I was too week, I thought. I mustered my strength and tried again. Suddenly, the spoon handle became crooked. I rang tha bell for a nurse. On the intercom, a female voice asked me what she could do for me. I told her what happened. The nurse said that she would come and bring me another spoon. The nurse came with two other nurse. One of them teased me by saying, “Wow! Look at the spoon. Now that you’re strong enough to bend the spoon, I think you will check out from this hospital real soon, superwoman.” I could only smile weakly at the giggling nurse

            Wanita super

Saya dirawat di rumah sakit selama seminggu. Pada saat makan siang, seorang staf rumah sakit datang ke kamarku untuk memberikan makan siang saya. Wanita itu meletakkan nampan makan siang di tempat tidur. Menu itu bubur, sayur sup, daging sapi dan buah. Itu tidak benar-benar selera tapi dokter saya mengatakan bahwa saya butuh protein untuk mempercepat pemulihan saya. Jadi saya memutuskan untuk makan daging sapi. Aku tidak tahu mengapa tapi aku tidak bisa memotong daging sapi dengan sendok saya. Oh well .... Mungkin aku terlalu minggu, pikirku. Aku mengumpulkan kekuatan saya dan mencoba lagi. Tiba-tiba, gagang sendok menjadi bengkok. Aku membunyikan bel tha untuk perawat. Pada interkom, suara wanita bertanya padaku apa yang dia bisa lakukan untuk saya. Aku menceritakan apa yang terjadi. Perawat itu berkata bahwa dia akan datang dan membawa saya sendok lain. Perawat itu datang dengan dua perawat lain. Salah satu dari mereka menggoda saya dengan mengatakan, "Wow! Lihatlah sendok. Sekarang bahwa Anda cukup kuat untuk menekuk sendok, saya pikir Anda akan check out dari rumah sakit ini nyata segera, superwoman "Saya hanya bisa tersenyum lemah pada perawat cekikikan.

By: adhitya setiawan_ XI ips 2 on March 4, 2009
at 9:07 am

27. dinner a la carte

robbie decided to try out the new italian restaurant downtown.aftre cerfully studying the menu with the strange sounding names, he told the waiter, “OK, I’ll have Spimoni Vermatelli. “Where do you see that,sir?”
“Here, right at the top uf the menu.”
“oh, but that’s the name of the owner.”
embarrassed, Robbie decided to play it safe and ordered jist clear soup. soon the waiter brought him empty plate. while waiting for his order to arrive, Robbie noticed that the plate wasn’t properly dried, so he called the waiter again.
“waiter, look at this plate!”
“what’s wrong with it,sir?”
“can’t you see? why, it’s still wet!”
‘oh, but that’s your claer soup,sir.”

makan malam a la carte

Robbie memutuskan untuk mencoba restoran baru italian downtown.aftre cerfully mempelajari menu dengan nama yang terdengar aneh, dia mengatakan kepada pelayan, "OK, aku akan Spimoni Vermatelli. "Di mana Anda melihat bahwa, Sir?"

             "Di sini, tepat di uf atas menu."

            "Oh, tapi itu nama pemiliknya."

             malu, Robbie memutuskan untuk bermain aman dan memesan sup jelas jist.           segera pelayan membawakan piring kosong. sambil menunggu perintah untuk datang, Robbie menyadari bahwa piring tidak benar kering, maka dia disebut pelayan lagi.

              "Pelayan, lihat plat ini!"

              "Apa yang salah dengan itu, Pak?"

              "Tidak bisa Anda lihat? mengapa, itu masih basah! "

              'Oh, tapi itu sup jelas Anda, Sir. "

spource : C ‘N’ S Magazine
vol : 2
no : 33
date : 13 january – february

By: eka rahma wati .XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 9:21 am

28. The Christian Bear

There was a man who one day didnt feel like going to church so he decided to go hunting instead.

He was out in the bush when he was aproched from behind by a bear. He dropped his gun by accident but didnt bother to pick it up.

He ran for his life. Weaving in and out the trees with the bear on his trail. Curving around a tree he triped over its root.

He looked up and the bear looked down. The bear was about to strike at him. He put his hands together and prayed:

“Dear lord, Please let this bear be a christian.”

the bear sat down on its bum and held the mans hands, closed his eyes and said: “Dear lord, Thankyou for the food that i am about to recieve”

Beruang Kristen

Ada seorang pria yang satu didnt hari merasa seperti pergi ke gereja sehingga ia memutuskan untuk pergi berburu sebagai gantinya.

Dia di semak-semak ketika ia aproched dari belakang oleh beruang. Dia menjatuhkan senjatanya oleh kecelakaan namun didnt repot-repot mengambilnya.

Dia berlari untuk hidupnya. Tenun masuk dan keluar pohon-pohon dengan beruang mengikuti jejaknya. Melengkung di sekitar pohon dia triped lebih dari akarnya.

Dia mendongak dan menanggung menunduk. beruang itu tentang menyerang ke arahnya. Dia meletakkan kedua tangannya dan berdoa:

              "Dear Lord, Harap beritahu beruang ini menjadi seorang Kristen."

menanggung duduk di gelandangan dan memegang tangan mans, memejamkan mata dan berkata: "Tuanku yang terhormat, Terima kasih untuk makanan yang saya akan menerima"

source : http://www.onlyfunnystories.com
vol : 21 from left
date : 4 march 2009

By: nurlaelah on March 4, 2009
at 9:22 am

29. Thunder and Lightning

A concerned mother picked up her daughter at school during a rainy day. All day the wind whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. She was worried that her daughter would be frightened.
When she reached her daughter’s at school, she saw her small child walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at the sky,and smile. One flash followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking at the streak of light and smiling.
Finally, the mother called and asked, “What are you doing!”.
Her child answered, “I’m smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of me.”

Thunder dan Lightning

Seorang ibu yang bersangkutan mengambil putrinya di sekolah selama hari hujan. Sepanjang hari angin melecut, bersama dengan guntur dan kilat. Dia khawatir bahwa putrinya akan ketakutan.

Ketika ia sampai putrinya di sekolah, dia melihat anak kecil itu berjalan bersama, tetapi pada setiap kilatan petir, anak itu akan berhenti, menengadah ke langit, dan tersenyum. Satu flash diikuti lain, setiap kali dengan menghentikan anaknya, melihat seberkas cahaya dan tersenyum.

              Akhirnya, ibu menelepon dan bertanya, "Apa yang kamu lakukan!".

    Anaknya menjawab, "Aku tersenyum bagi Allah, Dia terus mengambil gambar saya."

Source : C ‘n S magazine
Vol : 7
No : 54
Date : September-October 2008

By: Sholekhah XI Ia on March 4, 2009
at 9:27 am

30. HAPPY NEW YEAR
    I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old nephew started to cry and wanted to come into the shower too. So I let him into bathroom. Then he wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. The results were so great that I had decided to make some copies of one of them and attach them to my New Year cards.

Days later, a relative called, laughing hysterically, and suggested I take a closer look at the picture. Puzzled, I started at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my nephew, my own reflection had been captured in the bathroom mirror-wearing nothing but a camera.

SELAMAT TAHUN BARU

Aku sedang mandi ketika keponakan saya 2 tahun mulai menangis dan ingin masuk ke kamar mandi juga. Jadi saya biarkan dia ke kamar mandi. Lalu ia membungkus dirinya dalam kertas toilet. Meskipun ia membuat kekacauan, ia tampak menggemaskan, jadi aku berlari untuk kamera saya dan mengambil beberapa gambar. Hasilnya sangat besar sehingga saya telah memutuskan untuk membuat beberapa salinan dari salah satunya dan melampirkannya ke kartu Tahun Baru saya.

Hari kemudian, relatif yang disebut, tertawa histeris, dan menyarankan saya mengambil melihat lebih dekat pada gambar. Bingung, aku mulai di foto dan terkejut menemukan bahwa selain keponakan saya, refleksi saya sendiri telah ditangkap dalam cermin kamar mandi tidak mengenakan tapi kamera.

Source:C n’s magazine
Vol :4
No:29
Page:65
Date:February

By: Ahmad fahrurozi XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 9:29 am

31. Lost Sandals

When one of the student organizations at my campus held a two-day event in carita,i decided to join it.Unfortunately,right after we arrived,i lost my flip-flops.Consequently,every time i went outdoors,i had to borrow a pair of sandals from someone.After a while,i had enough of it.So,during a campfire night,while everybody was sitting around the fire and eating their bellies full of grilled fish,I grabbed a nearby bullhorn and shouted,”anyone who’s wearing my sandals,please GIVE THEM BACK to me!’ At once someone among the seated crowd shouted back at me,”And give ME back MY sandals now,girl!”How embarrassing!

Kehilangan Sandal

Ketika salah satu organisasi mahasiswa di kampus saya mengadakan acara dua hari di carita, saya memutuskan untuk bergabung it.Unfortunately, tepat setelah kami tiba, saya kehilangan saya flip-flops.Consequently, setiap kali saya pergi di luar rumah, saya harus meminjam sepasang sandal dari someone.After sementara waktu, saya telah cukup it.So, saat malam api unggun, sementara semua orang duduk mengelilingi api dan makan perut mereka penuh dengan ikan bakar, aku meraih pengeras suara di dekatnya dan berteriak, "siapa pun siapa yang memakai sandal saya, silahkan BERIKAN MEREKA KEMBALI kepada saya! " Pada begitu seseorang duduk di antara kerumunan berteriak ke arahku, "Dan memberi ME MY sandal kembali sekarang, gadis!" Bagaimana memalukan!

Source : C&S Magazine
Vol: 4
No: 30
february-march 2005

By: Mustakim XI.IS-1 on March 4, 2009
at 9:35 am

32. Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,”ya know, Bob, one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”

Dua Pilot Buta

Dua pilot buta keduanya mengenakan kacamata hitam, yang sedang menggunakan anjing pemandu, dan yang lainnya adalah menyadap jalan sepanjang gang dengan tongkat.

Gugup tawa menyebar melalui kabin, tapi orang-orang memasuki kokpit, menutup pintu, dan mesin start up. Para penumpang mulai melirik gugup sekitar, mencari beberapa tanda bahwa ini hanyalah lelucon praktis sedikit. Tidak ada yang akan datang.

Pesawat bergerak lebih cepat dan lebih cepat di landasan dan orang-orang duduk di kursi jendela menyadari bahwa mereka langsung menuju air di tepi bandara. Seperti mulai terlihat seolah-olah pesawat akan bajak ke air, teriakan panik mengisi kabin. Pada saat itu, pesawat lift lancar ke udara. Para penumpang santai dan tertawa kecil malu-malu, dan segera semua mundur ke majalah pewaris t, aman dalam pengetahuan bahwa ane pl berada di tangan yang baik.

Di kokpit, salah satu pilot buta beralih ke yang lain dan berkata, "kau tahu, Bob, suatu hari, mereka akan menjerit terlambat dan kita semua akan mati."

Sourc : only funny story
vol : 22
date : 04 marc 2009

By: Fauziah Chyntia Utami Kls XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 9:47 am

33. PARENTS

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I am really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I am worried sick!”
The other kid says, ” what have you got to worry about? Sound to me like you don’t have anything to worry about.”
The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”

ORANG TUA

Dua anak-anak berbicara satu sama lain. Satu mengatakan, "Saya sangat khawatir. Ayah saya bekerja dua belas jam sehari untuk memberi saya rumah yang bagus dan makanan yang baik. Ibuku menghabiskan sepanjang hari membersihkan dan memasak untuk saya. Saya khawatir sakit! "

Anak lain berkata, "apa yang kau harus khawatir? Suara ke saya seperti Anda tidak punya sesuatu perlu khawatir. "

            Anak pertama mengatakan, "Bagaimana jika mereka mencoba melarikan diri?"

Source : C&S Magazine
Vol : 7
No : 54
Augustus – September 2008

•  

By: idha abralia ayu on March 4, 2009
at 9:59 am

34. Help! I’m trapped

On a sunday morning, my boyfriend and I were jogging in Senayan. It was so crowded not only with people who wanted to jog but also with the vendors. We jogged around the track a few times, then took a rest because Iwas tired. We went into one of the tents at the “Soto Betawi’ stall and took a seat. I sat there alone while my boyfriend ordered the food. Suddenly, a bicycle approached the stall very fast and whacked the buffer pole. The tent fell and covered me up. Everybody laughed at me, including my boyfriend. I ignored my pain and left immediataly. Ifelt so ashamad!!!

Bantuan! Aku terperangkap

Pada suatu pagi Minggu, pacar saya dan saya jogging di Senayan. Itu begitu ramai tidak hanya dengan orang-orang yang ingin joging, tetapi juga dengan vendor. Kami berlari di trek beberapa kali, kemudian mengambil istirahat karena Iwas lelah. Kami pergi ke salah satu tenda di warung "Soto Betawi 'dan duduk. Aku duduk di sana sendirian sementara pacar saya memesan makanan. Tiba-tiba, sepeda mendekati warung sangat cepat dan memukul tiang penyangga. tenda jatuh dan menutupi saya. Semua orang tertawa pada saya, termasuk pacar saya. Aku mengabaikan rasa sakit dan meninggalkan immediataly. Ifelt sehingga ashamad!

By: andri permadi XI-IS2 on March 4, 2009
at 10:07 am

35. my funny story is:
    Shop Lifter

an 80-year-old woman was arrested for shop lifting. when she went before the judge, he asked her,”what did you steal?”
she replied,”A can of peaches.”
the judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
When she replied six, the judge then said,” I will give you six days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, somebody spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, ” what is it?”
“Your Honor, i’m her husband. She also stole a can of peas.”

Shop Lifter

seorang wanita 80 tahun ditangkap untuk mengangkat toko. ketika dia pergi hadapan hakim, ia bertanya, "apa yang kamu mencuri?"

              dia menjawab, "A dapat dari persik."

             hakim bertanya mengapa dia telah mencuri mereka dan ia menjawab bahwa ia lapar.

              Hakim kemudian bertanya berapa banyak buah persik di kaleng.

             Ketika dia menjawab enam, hakim lalu berkata, "Aku akan memberikan enam hari di penjara."

Sebelum hakim benar-benar bisa mengucapkan hukuman, orang berbicara dan meminta hakim jika ia bisa mengatakan sesuatu. Hakim berkata, "apa itu?"

              "Yang Mulia, aku suaminya. Dia juga mencuri sekaleng kacang polong. "

Source:
C’NS Magazine
Volume 8 No. 61
Page :36
Date : January-February 2009

By: Dina Fitriana XI.IA on March 4, 2009
at 10:07 am

36. Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”Watson replies, “i see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson ponders for a minute. “astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that saturns is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speak, “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!”.

SD, sobatku Watson

Sherlock Holmes dan dr.Watson pergi pada perjalanan berkemah, mendirikan tenda mereka, dan jatuh tertidur. beberapa jam kemudian, Holmes membangunkan sahabat yang setia.

"Watson, lihatlah ke langit dan katakan apa yang kamu lihat." Watson menjawab, "Saya melihat jutaan bintang." "Apa yang memberitahu Anda" Watson? Merenung sejenak. "Astronomis berbicara, ia memberitahu saya bahwa ada jutaan galaksi dan berpotensi milyaran planet. Astrologically, ia memberitahu saya bahwa Saturn ada di Leo. Waktu bijaksana, tampaknya menjadi kira-kira seperempat terakhir tiga. Teologis, itu jelas tuan ini adalah seluruh-kuat dan kami kecil dan tidak signifikan. Meteorologically, tampaknya kita akan memiliki hari yang indah besok. Apa memberitahu Anda? "

Holmes terdiam sejenak, kemudian berbicara, "Watson, kau idiot, seseorang telah mencuri tenda kita!".

Source : C’N'S Magazine
Vol : 6
No : 46
Date : March 2007

By: nurlaelah XI IPS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 10:11 am

37. Magazine : C n’S
    Volume : 2
    Number :13
    Date : 11 oct – nov 2002

BEING POLITE

One day,Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter brought out two steaks,Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn’t happy about it and said sharply,”When are you going to learn to be polite?”
“If you had the chance to pick first,”Bill answered,”which one would you pick?”
“The smaller piece,of course.”
“So what are you whining about than? The smaller piece what you want,right?”

            Bersikap sopan

Suatu hari, Bill dan Tom pergi ke sebuah restoran untuk makan malam. Segera setelah pelayan membawa dua steak, Bill cepat mengambil keluar steak yang lebih besar untuk dirinya sendiri. Tom tidak senang tentang itu dan berkata tajam, "Kapan kamu akan belajar untuk bersikap sopan?"

"Jika Anda memiliki kesempatan untuk memilih terlebih dahulu," jawab Bill, "mana yang akan Anda pilih?"

             "Bagian yang lebih kecil, tentu saja."

    "Jadi apa yang kamu mengeluh tentang dari? Potongan kecil apa yang Anda inginkan, bukan? "

By: NUR'AINI XI.IS.2 on March 4, 2009
at 10:12 am

38. Never Say No

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No,ma’am,we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”Alarmed,the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said,”That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course,we’ll have some soon. in fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled,”Never,never,never… say we don’t have something. if we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, wht was it she wanted?”
“Snow.”

            Jangan Katakan Tidak

Seorang manajer toko mendengar seorang petugas berkata kepada pelanggan, "Tidak, Bu, kami tidak memiliki apapun untuk beberapa minggu sekarang, dan tidak terlihat seolah-olah kita akan semakin dekat." Panik, manajer bergegas ke pelanggan yang sedang berjalan keluar pintu dan berkata, "Itu tidak benar, Bu. Tentu saja, kita akan memiliki beberapa segera. pada kenyataannya, kita menempatkan perintah untuk itu beberapa minggu lalu. "

Kemudian manajer menarik petugas ke samping dan menggeram, "Jangan, pernah, tidak pernah ... bilang kita tidak memiliki sesuatu. jika kita tidak memilikinya, katakanlah kita memerintahkan ini dan itu dalam perjalanan. Sekarang, utarakan apakah itu dia inginkan? "

            "Snow."

By: Ririn Dewi Winarti XI.IA on March 4, 2009
at 10:22 am

39. CAR PRIVILEGES

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family car privileges. On saturday night she return home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway. To get the newpaper and came back into the house frowning, at 11:30 AM the girl sleeping walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “sweetheart what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late dad,” she raplied nervously.

Camlmly, her father said, thennoney. I’ll have to talk with the paper boy a bout puttingmy paper under the front tire of the car”.

CAR PRIVILEGES

Ibu dan ayah baru saja diberi hak keluarga putri remaja mereka mobil. Pada malam Sabtu dia pulang ke rumah sangat terlambat dari pesta.

Keesokan paginya ayahnya pergi ke jalan masuk. Untuk mendapatkan newpaper dan kembali ke rumah mengerutkan kening, pukul 11.30 pagi, tidur gadis berjalan ke dapur, dan ayahnya bertanya, "Sayang apa waktu kau bisa masuk semalam?"

             "Ayah Tidak terlalu terlambat," raplied dia gugup.

Camlmly, ayahnya berkata, thennoney. Aku harus berbicara dengan anak kertas kertas puttingmy pertarungan di bawah ban depan mobil ".

Source : C ‘n S magazine
Vol : 8
No : 62
Hal : 36
Date : FebRuaRy-March 2009

By: FiTri AstUti XI.ipa.1 on March 4, 2009
at 10:38 am

40. BEING HELPFULL

Sandy began a job asan elementary school counselor and she was eager to help.One day durring recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer on the ather.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later,however,sandy noticed that the girl was in the same spot,still by herself.

Approaching again,sandy offered.”would you like me to be your friend?”.
The girl he sitated,then said.”OK”.Felling she was making progress,sandy then asked,”why are you standing here all alone?”because,”the little girl said with great exasperation,”i’m the goal keeper!”

MENJADI BERGUNA

Sandy memulai pekerjaan asan konselor sekolah dasar dan dia sangat ingin help.One hari saat istirahat ia melihat seorang gadis berdiri sendirian di salah satu sisi lapangan bermain sedangkan sisanya dari anak-anak menikmati permainan sepak bola di Ather tersebut.

            Sandy mendekat dan menanyakan apakah dia baik-baik saja.

             Gadis itu mengatakan ia.

             Beberapa saat kemudian, berpasir melihat bahwa gadis itu di tempat yang sama, masih sendiri.

Mendekati lagi, berpasir yang ditawarkan. "Anda ingin saya menjadi teman Anda?".

Gadis yang sitated, lalu berkata "OK".. Penebangan dia membuat kemajuan, berpasir lalu bertanya, "kenapa kau berdiri di sini sendirian?" Karena, "gadis kecil itu berkata dengan putus asa yang besar," aku penjaga gawang ! "

SOURCE : C’nS MAGAZINE
VOLUME : 7
NO. : 53
PAGE : 19
DATE : JANUARY – FEBRUARY 2008

By: Putra Tri Hardiansah XI.IPA on March 4, 2009
at 10:43 am

41. —- FORGETFUL—-

“George is so forgetful,” the sales manager complain to his secretary. “It’s a wonder he can sell and I’m not sure he’ll even remember to come back.”

Just then the door files open and in bounces George. “You ‘ll never guess what happened! “he shouts.” While I was at lunch. I met old man brown, who hasn’t bought anything fromus in five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half – million dollar order!”

“See?” Sighs the sales manager to his secretary.” I told you hed forget the Sandwiches.”

              - Pelupa -

"George sangat pelupa," mengeluh manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Aku heran ia dapat menjual dan aku tidak yakin ia bahkan akan ingat untuk kembali."

Saat itu pintu terbuka dan di file bounce George. "Kamu akan pernah menebak apa yang terjadi! "Dia berteriak." Sementara aku sedang makan siang. Saya bertemu orang tua coklat, yang belum membeli fromus apapun dalam lima tahun. Yah, kita harus berbicara dan dia memberi saya ini setengah -! Juta order dolar "

"Lihat?" Sighs manajer penjualan kepada sekretarisnya. "Saya bilang ranjang melupakan Sandwich."

Source : c’ns magazine
Volume : 6
No. : 47
Page : 26

By: jozuna92 on March 4, 2009
at 11:05 am

42. 100 Rupiah

One night a man was walking homewards when a thief jumped on him all of a sudden. Man and the thief were caught in a terrific tussle. They rolled about on the ground, and the man put up a tremendous fight, until at last the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through the man’s pocket’s and searched him all over. there was only a 100-Rupiah coin he could lay his hands on.

The thief was so surprised at this that he asked the man why he had bothered to fight so hard just for a 100-Rupiah Coin .
” Was that all you wanted?” said the man, ” I thought you were after the one-million rupiah I’ve got in my shoe!”

100 Rupiah

Suatu malam seorang pria berjalan pulang saat seorang pencuri melompat kepadanya tiba-tiba. Man dan pencuri tertangkap dalam pergumulan hebat. Mereka berguling tentang di tanah, dan pria tersebut menaruh sebuah perkelahian yang luar biasa, sampai pada pencuri terakhir berhasil mendapatkan lebih baik dari dia dan disematkan ke tanah. Pencuri kemudian melewati saku pria itu dan mencari ke seluruh. hanya ada koin 100-Rupiah ia bisa meletakkan tangannya ke atas.

Pencuri itu sangat terkejut mendengar ini bahwa ia bertanya orang itu mengapa ia repot-repot berjuang begitu keras hanya untuk koin 100 rupiah.

"Apakah itu yang Anda inginkan?" Kata pria itu, "pikir saya Anda setelah rupiah satu-juta aku punya di sepatu saya!"

Source :
C’NS Magazine
Volume 3 No 21
Page : 36
Date : January-February 2004

By: Ayu Fitriani XI.IA on March 4, 2009
at 11:20 am

43. uNderwEar oH uNderweaR

This happened one morning when I was still a kid in a play group school. I used to take a bath by myself while my mother was preparing my uniform. Then, I would put on the uniform, have breakfast, and go to school.
On that day, one of the lessons was physical exercise. We kids had to run in the school yard in our uniforms. While running, I suddenly felt my panties slip all the way down to my shoes! I picked them up and, to prevent them for falling down again, I had to hold on to them tightly every time I ran. I really had no idea why my underwear was so loose.
A s soon as I arrived home, I told my mother about what had happened at school. She got curious and immediately checked my panties. We were astonished to find that the underwear I was wearing was actually my mother’s! Both of us had really good laugh.
Apparently when my mother was getting my uniform ready that morning, she was still sleepy and opened the wrong wardrobe; my wardrobe and my mother’s were side by side.

OH Underwear Underwear

Hal ini terjadi suatu pagi ketika saya masih seorang anak di sekolah kelompok bermain. Aku digunakan untuk mandi sendiri sementara ibuku sedang mempersiapkan seragam saya. Lalu, saya akan memakai seragam, sarapan, dan pergi ke sekolah.

Pada hari itu, salah satu pelajaran adalah latihan fisik. Kami anak-anak harus lari di halaman sekolah di seragam kita. Sementara berjalan, tiba-tiba aku merasa celana saya slip semua jalan ke bawah untuk sepatu saya! Aku memungutnya dan, untuk mencegah mereka untuk jatuh ke bawah lagi, aku harus berpegang pada mereka erat-erat setiap kali saya berlari. Aku benar-benar tidak tahu mengapa celana saya begitu longgar.

Sebuah s begitu aku tiba di rumah, aku berkata kepada ibuku tentang apa yang telah terjadi di sekolah. Dia penasaran dan segera memeriksa celana saya. Kami terkejut menemukan bahwa celana yang kupakai benar-benar ibu saya! Kami berdua telah tertawa benar-benar baik.

Ternyata ketika Ibu sudah mulai pagi saya seragam siap itu, dia masih mengantuk dan membuka lemari pakaian yang salah; lemari pakaian saya dan ibu saya yang berdampingan.

sOurcE : c’ns magazine vol.7 no.54 FeBruary-
MarcH 2008

By: vInieSa oCtaviRani xI soCial 3 on March 4, 2009
at 11:27 am

44. FLORIST MISTAKE

On opening his new store, a man receives a bouquet of flowers. He becomes dismayed on reading the enclosed card because it expresses “deepest sympathy”. While puzzling over the message, his telephone rings. It is the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card. “oh, its alright”, says the storeowner. ‘iam a businessman and I understand these things can happen. “but”, add the florist, “I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party. “well, what did it say?” asks the streowner. “congratulations on your new location”, is the reply

            FLORIST KESALAHAN

Pada pembukaan toko barunya, seorang pria menerima karangan bunga. Dia menjadi kecewa pada membaca kartu tertutup karena mengungkapkan "simpati terdalam". Sementara membingungkan atas pesan, telepon berdering-nya. Ini adalah toko bunga, meminta maaf karena telah mengirim kartu yang salah. "Oh, baik-baik saja-nya", kata Pemilik toko itu. 'Iam seorang pengusaha dan saya mengerti hal-hal ini bisa terjadi. "Tetapi", tambahkan toko bunga, "aku sengaja mengirim kartu Anda ke pihak pemakaman. "Baik, apa isinya?" Tanya streowner tersebut. "Ucapan selamat pada lokasi baru Anda", adalah jawabannya

By: rudi fajarudin on March 4, 2009
at 11:52 am

45. Clever Customer

A customer sends an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. Noticing that the customer hasn’t paid the previous bill, the collections manager leaves a voice-mail for the customer, saying, “we can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”
the next day the collections manager receives reply voice-mail from the customer, “Please cancel the order. we can’t wait that long.”

             Clever Pelanggan

Seorang pelanggan mengirimkan perintah ke distributor untuk sejumlah besar barang sejumlah banyak uang. Melihat bahwa pelanggan belum membayar tagihan sebelumnya, manajer koleksi daun suara-mail untuk pelanggan, mengatakan, "kita tidak bisa mengirimkan order baru Anda sampai Anda membayar untuk yang terakhir."

hari berikutnya manajer koleksi menerima balasan suara-mail dari pelanggan, "membatalkan pesanan. kita tidak bisa menunggu selama itu. "

source :C`nS Magazine vol. 6 No. 45 month : January-february 2007

By: Nur cholis. A ----- XI IS 3 on March 4, 2009
at 1:16 pm

46. TwO aNGry NEIghbORs

Two neighbors have been fighting eech other for years.one day bob buys a great dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in bill’s yard.For one whole yard bill ignores the dog.Next bob buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in bill’s yard.Still, Bill doesn’t react.
After about a year of bob’s cow messing of bill’s yard,a container parks in front of bill’s house.Bob runs over and demands to know what’s in the 18-wheeler.
“My new pet elephant,”bill replies solemly.

Dua marah Tetangga

Dua tetangga telah berjuang eech lain untuk bob hari years.one membeli Great Dane dan mengajarkan untuk menggunakan kamar mandi di yard.For RUU satu tagihan keseluruhan halaman mengabaikan bob dog.Next membeli seekor sapi dan mengajarkan untuk menggunakan kamar mandi dalam yard.Still tagihan, Bill tidak bereaksi.

Setelah sekitar satu tahun sapi bob's messing dari halaman RUU itu, sebuah wadah taman di depan house.Bob RUU mengejar dan menuntut untuk mengetahui apa yang ada di beroda 18.

             "Gajah peliharaan baru saya," jawab tagihan solemly.

magazine:cOoL N’ sMarT
volume :7
number :55
date: :april may 2008

By: Muhammad AyUvy Laksana Putra XI IS 2 on March 4, 2009
at 1:19 pm

47. My poor Abang OjEg

can’t stand the traffic in Jakarta. That’s why i’m an ojek Lover’s. The ojek driver near my place usually compete in taking me to school.One day the one who was supposed to take me started the engine while i wasbout to climb onto the pillion seat.But than i saw that the seat was dirty and a bit moist. So i took out some tissue paper and started to wipe the seat.What happened next left me laughing for more than half and hour: The ojeg driver speed away.thinking that i was already sitting behind him! The rest of the ojeg driver also laughed their heads off.from that day on ,this poor ojeg driver has become the target of his comrades’regular joke,”don’t forget your passengger.

Saya miskin Abang ojeg

tidak tahan lalu lintas di Jakarta. Itulah sebabnya aku sebuah Lover's ojek. Sopir ojek di dekat tempat saya biasanya bersaing dalam mengambil saya untuk school.One hari yang seharusnya membawa saya mulai mesin saat wasbout saya untuk naik ke seat.But boncengan sepeda motor dari saya melihat bahwa kursi kotor dan lembab sedikit . Jadi saya mengambil beberapa kertas tisu dan mulai untuk menyeka seat.What yang terjadi berikutnya membuat saya tertawa selama lebih dari setengah dan jam: Kecepatan sopir ojeg away.thinking saya yang sudah duduk di belakangnya! Sisanya pengemudi ojeg juga tertawa off.from kepala mereka hari itu, driver ini ojeg miskin telah menjadi target lelucon comrades'regular nya, "jangan lupa penumpang Anda.

magazine:C’n S magazine
volume: 7
No 56 may-june 2008

By: Sri Setya NiNgsih XI IS 1 on March 4, 2009
at 1:40 pm

48. The Bus Incident

One day I took a bus to go to my friends house. the bus was fairly full, so i stood at the back of the bus. while i was standing, i saw a cute girl staring at me at she moved towards me. i became a bit embarrassed, thinking she might fancy me. She stood next to me and whispered that my fly was open, i was so Embarrassed, i got off the bus without even thinking the girl

Insiden Bus

Suatu hari saya naik bis untuk pergi ke rumah teman-teman saya. bus cukup penuh, jadi saya berdiri di belakang bus. sedangkan saya sedang berdiri, saya melihat seorang gadis cantik menatap saya di dia bergerak ke arahku. saya menjadi agak malu, berpikir dia bisa suka padaku. Dia berdiri di sampingku dan berbisik yang terbang saya terbuka, saya begitu malu, saya turun dari bus tanpa berpikir gadis

Source : C’N'S Magazine
Vol. 4 No. 30 February-March 2005

By: Nur Azizah XI IS 1 on March 5, 2009
at 5:41 am

49. source : CNS magazine.vol 7 NO.49 july-agust 2007

ZIPPER INCIDENT

One morning, my brother and I rode with our father halfway to the office. when we got to the pancoran area,which is my usual drop-off zone, I got out and started to cross streetto get on the bus when suddenly I heard a voice on a loudspeaker, “MBAK…MBAK…!!” I looked around and saw a policeman becknowing to me. Well, OK,the Pancoran street is really wide. So,maybe he actually needed that loudspeaker. But why? What wrongs with me? was it because i didn’t use the zebra cross? I was so scared, but I came up to him ask with an innocent face and in the gentle voice i could produce, “Yes, Sir?” The policeman said,”So you wont be embarrassed later…” The loudspeaker was still on!! His voice echoed through the whole street.
Everyone instantly looked in our direction, even those standing far, far away from us. And then he countinued, “You forgot to zip up your skrt.” Luckily, he didnt say that the last sentence on the loudspeaker. Of course I couldn’t zip up my skirt under those watchful eyes, so I just covered its back with my big bag. OH, GOSH!! What a bad start…!!!!!!

            ZIPPER KEJADIAN

Suatu pagi, adikku dan aku naik dengan setengah ayah kami ke kantor. ketika kami sampai ke daerah pancoran, yang biasa saya drop-off zona, aku keluar dan mulai menyeberang streetto naik bus ketika tiba-tiba aku mendengar suara di pengeras suara, "Mbak ... Mbak ...!" melihat aku sekeliling dan melihat seorang polisi becknowing kepada saya. Well, OK, jalan Pancoran benar-benar lebar. Jadi, mungkin dia benar-benar membutuhkan loudspeaker itu. Tapi kenapa? Apa kesalahan dengan saya? itu karena saya tidak menggunakan zebra cross? Aku sangat takut, tapi aku datang kepadanya meminta dengan wajah polos dan i suara lembut bisa menghasilkan, "Ya, Pak?" Kata polisi itu, "Jadi anda tidak malu kemudian ..." Loudspeaker masih terus! ! Suaranya bergema di seluruh jalan.

Semua orang langsung memandang ke arah kita, bahkan mereka berdiri jauh, jauh dari kita. Dan kemudian dia countinued, "Anda lupa ritsleting SKRT Anda." Untungnya, ia tidak mengatakan bahwa kalimat terakhir di loudspeaker. Tentu saja aku tidak bisa ritsleting rok saya di bawah mata waspada, jadi saya hanya tertutup kembali dengan tas besar saya. OH, Astaga! Apa yang buruk mulai ... !!!!!!

By: LINDA LISTIA XI.SOS.3 on March 5, 2009
at 5:42 am

50. Bye-Bye Transjakarta

The other day my buddies and i decided to take the Tansjakarta bus to Blok M. After buying the tickets, we had to wait at the bus shelter. We waited and waited, but the bus didn’t show up. My friends surely had more patience and discipline than i did. At the head of two neat lines, they stood right before the sliding doors ready to get on the bus as soon as it arrived. And what did i do? i sat on one of the benches in the shelter, absorbed in reading a newspaper. More passengers came and stood behind my buddies, but the bus was nowhere to be seen. I was so engrossed in the newspaper that i didn’t pay attention to may surroundings. The bus came and the queuing passengers had begun entering the vehicle. As my buddies and the other passengers jostled each other to get on the bus, my pals kept shouting my name. I made a dash for the bus, but it was too late. The bus had closed it’s doors. Icould only smile meekly at my departing, still shouting buddies and a horde of sympathetic faces looking at me from inside the bus. Ihad to catch the next bus alone to get to Blok M. What a journey!

Bye-Bye Transjakarta

Beberapa hari yang lalu teman saya dan saya memutuskan untuk naik bus Tansjakarta untuk Blok M. Setelah membeli tiket, kami harus menunggu di penampungan bus. Kami menunggu dan menunggu, namun bus tidak muncul. Teman-teman saya pasti memiliki lebih sabar dan disiplin dari i did. Pada kepala dua garis rapi, mereka berdiri tepat sebelum pintu geser siap untuk naik bus segera setelah tiba. Dan apa yang saya lakukan? saya duduk di salah satu bangku di penampungan, diserap dalam membaca koran. Lebih penumpang datang dan berdiri di belakang teman saya, tapi bus itu tidak terlihat. Aku begitu asyik di koran bahwa saya tidak memperhatikan lingkungan mungkin. Bus datang dan antrian penumpang sudah mulai memasuki kendaraan. Sebagai teman saya dan para penumpang lain berdesakan satu sama lain untuk naik bus, sahabat saya terus meneriakkan nama saya. Saya membuat lari untuk bus, tapi sudah terlambat. Bus telah menutup pintu itu. Icould hanya tersenyum taat pada saya berangkat, masih meneriakkan teman dan segerombolan simpatik wajah menatapku dari dalam bus. Ihad ke halte bis berikutnya saja untuk sampai ke Blok M. Apa perjalanan!

Source: C’ns magazine
Volume: 6
Number: 46
date: march 2007

By: Agustina haryanti XI IS 2 on March 5, 2009
at 5:42 am

51. The Three Wishes

The bear and the rabbit didn’t like each other very much. One day, while they were walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: ” Oh, i don’t often meet anyone in these parts”. They were amazed that the frog had talked to them. The golden frog told them, ” Mind you, when i do meet someone i always give them three wishes. So you can have three wishes each”.
The bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.
“Done!” said the frog. The rabbit, after thinking for a while, said, ” I want a crash helmet. ” One appeared immeditely, and he placed it on his head. The bear thought the rabbit was a fool, but carried on with his second wish. ” I wany all the bears in the neighboring forests to be females as well “. The frog granted his wish. The rabbit then said, ” I want a motorcycle.” It appeared before him, and he climbed on it and started revving the engine.
” Those were two of the stupidest wishes i’ve ever heard,” the bear remarked scornfully. He then made his final wish, which was that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to the rabbit for his last wish.
The rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: ” I wish that Mr. Bear here was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could!

Tiga Wishes

Beruang dan kelinci tidak saling menyukai sangat banyak. Suatu hari, ketika mereka berjalan menembus hutan, mereka menemukan kodok emas. katak itu berbalik kepada mereka dan berkata: "Oh, saya tidak sering bertemu orang di daerah ini". Mereka kagum bahwa katak telah berbicara dengan mereka. Katak emas mengatakan kepada mereka, "Ingat, ketika saya melakukan bertemu i seseorang selalu memberi mereka tiga keinginan. Sehingga Anda dapat memiliki tiga keinginan "masing-masing.

Beruang itu segera berharap bahwa semua beruang lainnya di hutan adalah wanita.

"Selesai!" Kata katak. kelinci, setelah berpikir untuk beberapa saat, berkata, "Aku ingin helm kecelakaan. "Satu muncul immeditely, dan ia meletakkannya di kepalanya. Beruang itu mengira kelinci itu bodoh, tetapi dilaksanakan dengan keinginan kedua. "Saya wany semua beruang di hutan tetangga menjadi perempuan juga". katak diberikan keinginannya. Kelinci lalu berkata, "Aku ingin sepeda motor." Ini muncul sebelum dia, dan ia naik di atasnya dan mulai revving mesin.

"Mereka adalah dua dari keinginan terbodoh yang pernah saya dengar," kata beruang mencemooh. Dia kemudian membuat keinginan terakhirnya, yang adalah bahwa semua beruang lain di dunia adalah wanita juga, meninggalkan dia sebagai hanya menanggung laki-laki di dunia. katak itu menjawab bahwa hal itu telah dilakukan, dan mereka berdua berbalik untuk kelinci untuk keinginan terakhir.

Kelinci revved mesin, berpikir sejenak, lalu berkata: "Saya berharap bahwa Mr Bear di sini adalah gay!" Dan berkuda secepat dia bisa!

magazine : CnS
Volume : 2
No : 11 (11 November 2002)

Nama : Kartina Sari
Kelas : XI.IPS.3

•  

By: Kartina Sari XI.IPS.3 on March 5, 2009
at 5:47 am

52. Miss,Miss…..Mister?

Ilike to wear my hair long. several months ago, i was walking from school and a car pulled over right next to me. And then I heard a guy’s voice asking me, ” hay, sexy! whats your phone number?” I continued walking with my head down, thinking that he was just being a jerk. Then he said, “please babe i want you to be my girlfriend.” I looked up, pulled the hair a way from my face and said, ” What?” the guy looked horrified and said to his friend in the car, “gosh! it’s a guy!” and then they sped off like a bat out of heel.

Nona, Miss ... .. Mister?

ILike untuk memakai rambut saya panjang. beberapa bulan yang lalu, saya sedang berjalan kaki dari sekolah dan sebuah mobil menepi tepat di sebelah saya. Kemudian aku mendengar suara seorang pria bertanya padaku, "jerami, seksi! whats nomor telepon Anda "Aku terus berjalan dengan kepala bawah, berpikir bahwa ia hanya menjadi seorang brengsek?. Kemudian ia berkata, "silahkan babe saya ingin Anda untuk menjadi pacar saya." Melihat aku Facebook, menarik rambut cara dari wajah saya dan berkata, "Apa?" Melihat pria ngeri dan berkata kepada temannya dalam mobil, "ya ampun ! itu cowok "dan kemudian mereka melesat seperti kelelawar keluar dari tumit.

source: C’ns magazine
volume: 3
number: 21
date: january- february 2004

By: Dessi Setyaningsih XI IS 1 on March 5, 2009
at 5:53 am

53. OOPS…..!!!!

“I Think the principal is dummy!” said a boy to a girl. “Well,do you know who I am?” asked the girl.
“No,” replied the boy.
“I am the principal’s doughter,”said the girl.
“and do you know who I am ?” asked the boy.
“No,” she replied.
“Thank goodness!” said the boy with sigh of relief,and ran off.

OOPS ... ..!!!!

"Saya Pikirkan utama adalah dummy!" Kata seorang anak laki-laki dengan seorang gadis. "Nah, kau tahu siapa aku?" Tanya gadis itu.

             "Tidak," jawab anak itu.

             "Saya doughter kepala sekolah," kata gadis itu.

            "Dan kau tahu siapa aku?" Tanya anak itu.

             "Tidak," jawabnya.

             "Syukurlah!" Kata anak itu dengan lega, dan lari.

Source : C’nS mAGAZINE
VoL : 6
dATE : Agustus-September 2008
no : 58

Name : MoNiCha R

cLass : XI-Is 3

By: Monika Rahmawati_XI.Is 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:00 am

54. source : Cns magazine vol.7 no.49 july-august 2007

MY DEAR FOREHEAD

One night I was worried sick because Istill didn’t have the money to pay the last installment of my course fee. And the deadline was the next day!! After scrounging around among all my belongings, including my piggy bank,I was relieved to find some money in my binder. So the next day, I went to LIA Gunung Sahari to pay the fee. After getting the receipt I thought happily, ” Well, everything is OK now.”
Apparently Iwas too happy to see the glass door in front of me. And “Wham!” I crashed against the door. Everyone in the room could hear the sound and started to gri at me. The office clerk hollered in, “Oh my God !! Please be careful!!” Iwalked out feeling totally freaked out, complete with a swoolen and red forehead.

            MY DEAR dahi

Suatu malam saya khawatir sakit karena Istill tidak memiliki uang untuk membayar cicilan terakhir biaya kursus saya. Dan batas waktu adalah hari berikutnya! Setelah mengemis sekitar antara semua milik saya, termasuk celengan saya, saya merasa lega untuk mencari uang di binder saya. Jadi keesokan harinya, saya pergi ke LIA Gunung Sahari untuk membayar biaya tersebut. Setelah mendapatkan penerimaan saya pikir gembira, "Yah, semuanya OK sekarang."

Rupanya Iwas terlalu senang melihat pintu kaca di depan saya. Dan "Wham!" Jatuh aku ke pintu. Semua orang di ruangan itu bisa mendengar suara dan mulai gri padaku. Petugas kantor berteriak dalam, "Ya Tuhan! Berhati-hatilah! "! Iwalked keluar merasa benar-benar panik, lengkap dengan swoolen dan dahi merah.

By: nia.setianingsih XI SOS 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:01 am

55. SCORES

When Suzy got home,she told her dad that she got 100 in school. Her dad,”Great! let’s sit down and tell me more about it.”Suzy,”well,I got a 20 in math,in 30 in science and a 50 in writing!”

SKOR

Ketika Suzy sampai di rumah, ia memberitahu ayahnya bahwa dia mendapat 100 di sekolah. Nya ayah, "Bagus! mari kita duduk dan bercerita lebih banyak tentang hal itu. "

Suzy, "baik, saya mendapat 20 dalam matematika, dalam 30 dalam sains dan 50 secara tertulis!"

Source : C’nS MaGazinE

Vol : 6

daTe : Agustus – September 2008

no : 58

page : 24

Name : Nurdiani

By: Nurdiani Jaenab_XI.Is 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:10 am

56. WE CAN’T DO THAT

A student us heading home for the holidays. When she gets to the airline counter, she presents a ticket to New York. As she hands the agent her luggage, she say, “I’d like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London.”
The confused agent stammers, “I—I’m sorry, we can’t do that.”
“Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that’s exactly what you did to my luggage last year!”

KITA TIDAK BISA MELAKUKAN ITU

Seorang siswa kami pulang menuju liburan. Ketika ia sampai ke konter maskapai penerbangan, ia menyajikan tiket ke New York. Saat ia tangan agen-nya koper, dia bilang, "akan aku ingin Anda kirimi koper hijau saya ke Hawaii, dan koper merah saya ke London."

            Para agen tergagap bingung, "aku-aku maaf, kami tidak bisa melakukan itu."

              "Benarkah? Aku sangat lega mendengar Anda mengatakan bahwa karena itulah yang Anda lakukan untuk tahun koper terakhir saya! "

Source: cns magazine Vol: 06 No: 44 Nov-Des 06

By: aTIek nuRjANAh XI sOs 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:15 am

57. my funny story is :

Paying in Advance

A motorist,driving by a texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. the driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. he then asked what the animal was worth.

“Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “but in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
“Here,”he said,” is the check for $900. It’s postdated six years from now.”

Membayar in Advance

pengendara A, mengemudi dengan peternakan texas, memukul dan membunuh seorang anak sapi yang menyeberang jalan. pengemudi pergi ke pemilik betis dan menjelaskan apa yang terjadi. ia kemudian bertanya apa hewan tersebut bernilai.

"Oh, sekitar $ 200 hari ini," kata peternak itu. "Tetapi dalam enam tahun itu akan menjadi senilai $ 900. Jadi $ 900 adalah apa yang aku keluar. "

             pengendara itu duduk dan menulis cek dan menyerahkannya kepada petani.

 "Di sini," katanya, "adalah cek sebesar $ 900. Ini postdated enam tahun dari sekarang. "

Source :
C’NS Magazine
Volume 3 No.21
Page : 36
Date : January-February 2004

By: Rio Prawira XI.IA on March 5, 2009
at 6:19 am

58. GEOGRAPHY CLASS
    Teacher : What is the axis of the earth ?
    Student : The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
    Teacher : Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
    Student : Yes, sir.
    Teacher : Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
    Student : Imaginary clothes, sir.

GEOGRAFI KELAS

Guru: Apa poros bumi?

Mahasiswa: Sumbu bumi adalah garis khayal yang berpindah dari satu kutub yang lain, dan di mana bumi berputar.

Guru: Sangat baik. Sekarang, bisa Anda menggantung pakaian pada baris tersebut?

Mahasiswa: Ya, Pak.

Guru: Memang, dan jenis pakaian?

Mahasiswa: Imajiner pakaian, Sir.

No. : 53
Vol. :7
Source :cns
Date :dec-jan 2008

By: michelle_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:31 am

59. SKIP THE SKIPPING, PLEASE……..

The doctor decided do put his over weight patient on a diet. ” I want you to eat regularly for two days,” the physician directed, “then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see u, you should have lost at least five pounds. ”
When the man returned, he had lost 20 pounds. “You did this just by following my instructions?” the doctor asked. The man nodded. “I’ll tell you, thought, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger?”
“No, from skipping.”

SKIP THE skipping, PLEASE ... ... ..

Dokter memutuskan melakukan meletakkan pasien berat atas nya diet. "Aku ingin kau makan secara teratur selama dua hari," dokter diarahkan, "kemudian skip hari, dan ulangi prosedur ini selama dua minggu. Lain kali saya melihat u, Anda harus telah kehilangan setidaknya lima pound. "

Ketika orang itu kembali, ia telah kehilangan 20 pound. "Kau melakukan ini hanya dengan mengikuti instruksi saya?" Tanya dokter. Pria itu mengangguk. "Saya akan memberitahu Anda, pikir, saya pikir saya akan mati mendadak hari ketiga."

             "Dari kelaparan?"

             "Tidak, dari melompat-lompat."

source: cns magazine
vol: 6
numb: 43 nov-dec

By: arlin XI sos 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:32 am

60. Four Languages

A Swiss guy visiting Sydney, Australia,pulls up at a bus stop where two locals are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch?” The two Aussies just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi,parlez vous Francais?” he tries again. The two countinue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?”
No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?”
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely frustrated. the first Aussie turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a forgein language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knows four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

Empat Bahasa

Seorang pria Swiss mengunjungi Sydney, Australia, menarik di sebuah bus berhenti di mana dua penduduk setempat sedang menunggu. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch?" Kedua Aussies hanya menatapnya.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" Mencoba dia lagi. Kedua countinue menatap.

             "Parlare Italiano?"

             respon No.

             "Hablan ustedes Espanol?"

             Masih ada.

            Orang Swiss drive off, sangat kecewa. Aussie pertama berubah menjadi yang kedua dan berkata, "Kau tahu, mungkin kita harus belajar bahasa forgein."

"Kenapa?" Kata yang lain. "Orang itu tahu empat bahasa, dan tidak melakukan dia ada gunanya."

Source : C’nS Magazine
vol : 6
no : 44
date : nov-des 2006

By: Novita Permatasari_XI.Is 3 on March 5, 2009
at 6:32 am

61.  BUSINESS TRICK
A grocer puts up a sign that reads “Eggplants, 25c each – three for a dollar.”
All day long, customers come in exclaiming, “Don’t be ridiculous ! I should get four for a dollar !” Every time, quietly the grocer concedes and packages four eggplants. The tailor next door has been watching these antics and finally asks the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistaken on your sign ?”
“What mistake?” the grocer asks. “ Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”

TRIK USAHA

 Sebuah toko kelontong memasang tanda yang bertuliskan "Terung, 25c setiap -. tiga untuk satu dolar"

Sepanjang hari, pelanggan datang dalam berseru, "Jangan konyol! Saya harus mendapatkan empat untuk dolar "Setiap kali!, Diam-diam toko kelontong mengakui dan paket empat terong. Pintu berikutnya penjahit telah menonton kejenakaan ini dan akhirnya meminta toko kelontong, "Apakah kau tidak akan memperbaiki kesalahan pada tanda Anda?"

"Apa kesalahan?" Tanya toko kelontong. "Sebelum saya memasang tanda itu tidak ada yang pernah membeli lebih dari satu terung."

No. : 47
Vol. :6
Source :cns
Date :apr-may 2007

By: nurhatika_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:33 am

62. JOB BENEFITS
    During a job interview, an applicant inquires about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informs her they have group health and life insurance, but the costs are deducted from the employees’ pay. The applicant says, “ My last company had full health coverage, as well as five year’s salary for life insurance and a month’s salary for life insurance and a month’s sick leave AND they paid the full premiums.”
    “Then why would you leave a job with such benefits?” the interviewer asks back.
    The applicant shrugs and says, “The company went bankrupt.”

JOB MANFAAT

Selama wawancara kerja, pemohon bertanya tentang manfaat. Manajer Personalia memberitahu padanya mereka memiliki kelompok kesehatan dan asuransi jiwa, tetapi biaya dikurangkan dari gaji karyawan. Pemohon mengatakan, "perusahaan terakhir saya memiliki cakupan kesehatan penuh, serta lima tahun gaji untuk asuransi jiwa dan gaji satu bulan untuk asuransi jiwa dan cuti sakit satu bulan DAN mereka membayar premi penuh."

"Lalu mengapa anda meninggalkan pekerjaan dengan manfaat tersebut?" Tanya pewawancara kembali.

Pemohon mengangkat bahu dan berkata, "Perusahaan itu bangkrut."

No. : 47
Vol. :6
Source :cns
Date :apr-may 2007

By: rhizky_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:35 am

63.  SHOO!
“ Yes, mom … I’II be there in five minutes. No, I’m still with Nina. See you real soon. “I ended my phone conversation on my mobile with my mom and started gossiping again with my schoolmate, Nina. My mom had been shopping at a mall nearby my school. That’s why my mom asked me to have lunch together there. Heading for the mall, I was giggling unvontrollably when Nina told me a very funny story about one of our classmates. I was so absorbed in the hilarity that I didn’t pay attention to where I was going. I fell into a roadside gutter full of trash and yucky goo. I was so shocked. With Nina’s help, I managed to get out of the gutter. In spite of my pathetic appearance, I insisted on meeting my mom. The situation was bad enough for me with everybody staring at me. But it got worse at the entrance of the mall. A secyrity guard was shouting at me, “Hey, stop ! Beggars are not allowed to enter!” I bit my lip to stop myself from crying and barking back angrily at the guard. Oh, what an experience! Yy Apsha Syawali A., Bandung.

Shoo!

"Ya, ibu ... I'II berada di sana dalam lima menit. Tidak, aku masih dengan Nina. Sampai ketemu segera. "Aku mengakhiri percakapan telepon di ponsel saya dengan ibu saya dan mulai bergosip lagi dengan sekolahnya saya, Nina. Ibuku telah berbelanja di sebuah mal dekat sekolah saya. Itu sebabnya ibu saya meminta saya untuk makan siang bersama di sana. Menuju mal, saya cekikikan unvontrollably ketika Nina bercerita sangat lucu tentang salah satu teman sekelas kami. Aku begitu terserap dalam kegembiraan bahwa saya tidak memperhatikan mana aku akan pergi. Aku jatuh ke dalam selokan pinggir jalan penuh dengan sampah dan yucky goo. Saya sangat terkejut. Dengan bantuan Nina, aku berhasil keluar dari selokan. Meskipun penampilan menyedihkan saya, saya bersikeras untuk bertemu ibu saya. Situasi ini cukup buruk bagi saya dengan semua orang menatapku. Tapi itu semakin memburuk di pintu masuk mal. Seorang penjaga secyrity berteriak padaku, "Hei, berhenti! Pengemis tidak diperbolehkan untuk memasukkan "Aku menggigit bibir saya untuk menahan diri dari menangis dan menggonggong kembali marah pada penjaga!. Oh, apa pengalaman! Yy Apsha Syawali A., Bandung

No. : 44
Vol. :6
Source :cns
Date :nov-dec 2006

By: alviani_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:37 am

64.  EXTRAVAGATE
I’d never missed the Extravaganza parody show on TV. Then I missed out on it when my office in Jakarta stationed me in Ende. There was on TV in the house where I stayed. I really missed watching my favorite show. One day, a friend told me that a local wartel, a small shop where you can make a paid phone call, owns a TV set. The next time Extravaganza was scheduled to be on air, I was in the wartel, busy making local phone calls to several acquaintances. After making the calls, I walked out of the phone booth and sat patiently in front of the TV set hung next to the cashier. Unfortunately, the TV wasn’t tuned to the TV station that aired Extravaganza the cashier was intently watching a gossip show. I decided to wait for a few minutes before asking her to change the program. Five, ten … fifteen minutes passed. “Do you want to make another phone call?” her question really caught me off-guard and made me stutter. “Nnno, I want to watch Extravaganza, “I answered without thinking. “ Oh, that’s why you’ve been sitting there for so long. But sorry, we can’t receive the TV station that airs the show here, ‘she said sympathetically. Embarrassment and disappointment hit me hard as I walked out of the wartel.

EXTRAVAGATE

Aku tak pernah melewatkan acara Extravaganza parodi di TV. Lalu aku tidak terjawab di ketika kantor saya di Jakarta saya ditempatkan di Ende. Ada di TV di rumah tempat saya tinggal. Aku benar-benar merindukan menonton acara favorit saya. Suatu hari, seorang teman mengatakan kepada saya bahwa sebuah wartel lokal, sebuah toko kecil di mana Anda dapat membuat panggilan telepon dibayar, memiliki TV set. Waktu Extravaganza berikutnya dijadwalkan berada di udara, saya berada di wartel, telepon lokal sibuk membuat panggilan ke beberapa kenalan. Setelah melakukan panggilan, saya berjalan keluar dari bilik telepon dan duduk dengan sabar di depan TV set tergantung di sebelah kasir. Sayangnya, TV tidak menayangkan stasiun TV yang ditayangkan Extravaganza kasir itu serius menonton acara gosip. Saya memutuskan untuk menunggu selama beberapa menit sebelum meminta dia untuk mengubah program. Lima, sepuluh ... lima belas menit berlalu. "Apakah Anda ingin membuat telepon lain?" Nya pertanyaan yang benar-benar menangkap saya off-jaga dan membuat saya gagap. "Nnno, aku ingin menonton Extravaganza," jawabku tanpa berpikir. "Oh, itu sebabnya Anda sudah duduk di sana begitu lama. Tapi maaf, kami tidak dapat menerima stasiun TV yang mengudara acara di sini, "katanya penuh simpati. Malu dan kekecewaan memukul saya keras saat aku berjalan keluar dari wartel itu.

No. : 44
Vol. :6
Source :cns
Date :nov-dec 2006

By: dina aulia_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:38 am

65. WONDERFUL SLEEP
    One night, I slept late because I had to do some homework. The next morning, on the bus to school, I felt so sleepy. I couldn’t help dozing off. I slept like a log until a cruel road bump jerked me out of my wonderful sleep. When I woke up, I realized two things: first, a very good-looking guy sitting next to me was checking me out while trying to suppress his smile. Second, I was drooling heavily. These were enough reasons for me to get off the bus, although my school was still a few kilometers away. Pheww!!
    
    

WONDERFUL TIDUR

  Suatu malam, saya tidur terlambat karena saya harus melakukan beberapa pekerjaan rumah. Keesokan paginya, di bus ke sekolah, aku merasa sangat mengantuk. Aku tidak bisa menahan tertidur. Aku tidur seperti log sampai jalan kejam benjolan tersentak aku dari tidur saya yang luar biasa. Ketika aku bangun, saya menyadari dua hal: pertama, orang yang sangat tampan duduk di samping saya sedang memeriksa saya keluar ketika mencoba untuk menekan senyumnya. Kedua, aku drooling berat. Ini adalah alasan yang cukup bagi saya untuk turun dari bus, meskipun sekolah saya masih beberapa kilometer jauhnya. Pheww!

No. : 44
Vol. :6
Source :cns
Date :nov-dec 2006

By: maya eka_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:40 am

66. A MASTERPIECE
    Miss Paddington is in Paris and is Visiting louver, the famous art museum in france. She looked at a Masterpiece and said, “is this a dreadful painting or what?? I can’t believe that a respectable place like this could have such a horrible piece of art in it’s collection. “Pardon, Madame!” One of the staff says, but it’s nor a painting, it’s a mirror.

A MASTERPIECE

Miss Paddington adalah di Paris dan Mengunjungi Louver, museum seni terkenal di perancis. Ia menatap suatu Karya dan berkata, "apakah ini lukisan yang mengerikan atau apa? Aku tidak percaya bahwa tempat terhormat seperti ini bisa punya sepotong mengerikan seni dalam koleksi itu. "Pardon, Madame!" Salah satu staf mengatakan, tapi itu juga sebuah lukisan, itu cermin.

No. : 59
Vol. :8
Source :cns
Date :oct-nov 2008

By: tati s_xi ia on March 5, 2009
at 6:42 aM

67. Oooppss!! Mosquitoes

When I was 16 years old, my parents gave me a car. that car wasn’t brand new, But I really loved it. At that time, I fell in love with the most beautiful girl at my senior high. Her name was Nathalie. Her house wasn’t far from mine. one day, I mustered the courage to ask her to ride with me to school when she passed in front of my house. I felt so lucky when she said ,”I’d love to. “I was so happy.But i forgot something. I had parked my car in the field in front of my house the night before. The field was surrounded by bushes. Guess what? when I opened my car’s front seat. She was as surprised as I was. I could only smile and say “Ooops!! Mosquitoes.” Can you Imagine how embarrassed I was?

Oooppss! Nyamuk

Ketika saya berusia 16 tahun, orang tua saya memberikan mobil. mobil yang tidak baru, Tapi aku benar-benar menyukainya. Pada waktu itu, saya jatuh cinta dengan gadis yang paling indah di SMA saya. Namanya Nathalie. Rumahnya tidak jauh dari saya. suatu hari, saya mengumpulkan keberanian untuk meminta dia ikut bersama saya ke sekolah ketika dia lewat di depan rumah saya. Aku merasa sangat beruntung ketika dia berkata, "Aku ingin sekali. "Aku begitu saya happy.But lupa sesuatu. Aku memarkir mobil saya di lapangan di depan rumah saya malam sebelumnya. Lapangan itu dikelilingi oleh semak-semak. Tebak apa? ketika saya membuka kursi depan mobil saya. Dia adalah sebagai terkejut seperti saya. Aku hanya bisa tersenyum dan berkata "Ups! Nyamuk "Bisakah. Anda Bayangkan bagaimana malu saya?

By: Ricky Prasetyo XI.IA on March 5, 2009
at 6:42 am

68. 

Foamy Hair

It was a bad hair day.since i got up in the morning I hadn’t been able to do my hair.I tried everything i knew,but still it didnt do any good at all.Then my sister suggested that I use her hair moisturaizer.So,I went to her room,took a bottle of moisturaizer without consulting my sister and applied it to my hair.Then I hurried to catch the bus to school.Unfortunately,it started to rain and I didn’t have my umbrella with me.So,I had to run from the bus to the school building.Arriving there,I saw my friends looking at me giggling.Feeling that there was something weired going on,I asked my friend what was wrong.She pointed at my hair and burst into laughter,”just check your hair.”So,Ihurriedly took out a small mirror from my bag and checked my hair. Gosh! my hair was full of foam!

Berbusa Rambut

Itu adalah bad hair i day.since bangun di pagi hari aku tidak mampu melakukan hair.I saya mencoba i semuanya tahu, tapi tetap saja didnt ada gunanya di all.Then kakak saya menyarankan agar saya menggunakan rambutnya moisturaizer.So, saya pergi ke kamarnya, mengambil sebotol moisturaizer tanpa konsultasi adik saya dan menerapkannya pada hair.Then aku bergegas mengejar bus untuk school.Unfortunately, itu mulai hujan dan aku tidak memiliki payung saya dengan me.So, aku harus lari dari bus ke sekolah building.Arriving sana, aku melihat teman-teman saya memandang saya giggling.Feeling bahwa ada sesuatu weired terjadi, saya bertanya teman saya apa yang wrong.She menunjuk saya rambut dan tertawa terbahak-bahak, "hanya memeriksa rambut Anda." Jadi, Ihurriedly mengeluarkan cermin kecil dari tas saya dan memeriksa rambut saya. Astaga! rambutku penuh busa!

sources:CnS magazine
vol.4 no.30 juny 2008

By: Trianah XI IS 1 on March 5, 2009
at 6:52 am

69. Where Have you Been ??

A $20 bill meets a $1 bill in the bank. as they were laying there side by side,the $1 bill said to the $20 bill, “Hey, man! where have you been? i haven’t seen you in a long time.”
The $20 replied, “i”ve been having a ball! i’ve been travelling to distant countries, going to finest restaurants, numerous boutiques, and the mall across town. in fact, just this week i’ve been to Europe, a professional NBA game, the all day retreat spa, the top-notch hair salon and tha new casino!! i have done it ll!! What about you?? Where have you been ?”
The $1 replied, “Oh, you Know, the usual stuff.

Church…. church……church….and church!”

Dimana Apakah Anda Sudah?

Sebuah uang $ 20 bertemu dengan uang $ 1 di bank. karena mereka berbaring disana berdampingan, lembaran uang $ 1 berkata kepada tagihan $ 20, "Hei, Bung! mana saja kau? saya tidak melihat Anda dalam waktu lama. "

$ 20 menjawab, "i" ve telah memiliki bola! Saya telah melakukan perjalanan ke negara-negara jauh, pergi ke restoran terbaik, banyak butik, dan mal di seluruh kota. pada kenyataannya, hanya minggu ini aku sudah ke Eropa, permainan NBA profesional, spa mundur sepanjang hari, salon rambut top-notch dan kasino tha baru! saya telah melakukannya ll! Bagaimana dengan Anda? Di mana saja kau? "

            $ 1 menjawab, "Oh, Anda Tahu, hal-hal yang biasa.

    Gereja .... ... gereja ... gereja ... dan gereja.! "

Source C’nS magazine
Vol. 3 No. 21 January-February 2004

By: Maesaroh is3 on March 5, 2009
at 7:58 am

70. How You Made Money?

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.the old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1923. the depth of the great depression. i was down to my last nickel.i invested that nickel in an apple.i spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, i sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning,i invested those ten cents in two apples.i spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 for 20 cents. i continued this system for a month, by the end of which i’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you built and empire?” the boy asked.
“Heavens. no!” the man replied.”Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

             Bagaimana Anda Made Uang?

Seorang pemuda bertanya seorang lelaki kaya tua bagaimana ia membuat orang tuanya meraba money.The rompi wol wol dan berkata, "Nah, Nak, itu 1923. kedalaman depresi besar. i turun untuk nickel.i terakhir saya menginvestasikan nikel dalam sebuah apple.i menghabiskan seluruh hari memoles apel itu dan, pada akhir hari, menjual apel untuk sepuluh sen.

Keesokan paginya, saya diinvestasikan sepuluh sen mereka dalam dua apples.i menghabiskan seluruh hari polishing mereka dan menjualnya di 05:00 selama 20 sen. i lanjutan sistem ini selama sebulan, pada akhir yang aku akumulasi kekayaan $ 1,37. "

             "Dan itulah bagaimana Anda membangun dan kerajaan?" Tanya anak itu.

    "Surga. tidak "jawab orang itu."! Lalu ayah istri saya meninggal dan meninggalkan kami dua juta dolar. "

Source C’nS magazine
Vo. 3 No. 21 January-February 2004
page 36

Heni megawati XI IA

By: Heni Megawati XI_IA on March 5, 2009
at 8:17 am

71. One windy day
    I’m quite a dandy. I always tidy up myself before going some place, especially to my campus. Who knows a cute girl there might fall for me. So one windy day i went to campus as usual. When i raeched the parking lot in front of my college, the wind had become stronger and started messing up my hair. When i saw a car with drak windows parked, i stopped in front of one of the windows to check my reflection. :oh, my hair” i said to myself . “what a mess” as i was busy combing my hair with my fingers, trhe drak window was rolled down. I came face to face with my lecturer “you look OK now,” he said. “get moving” i was embarrassed..
    Fathul, Jakarta

Suatu hari berangin

Aku cukup bagus. Saya selalu merapikan diri sebelum pergi beberapa tempat, terutama untuk kampus saya. Siapa tahu gadis cantik mungkin ada jatuh untuk saya. Maka suatu berangin hari saya pergi ke kampus seperti biasa. Ketika saya raeched tempat parkir di depan kampus saya, angin telah menjadi kuat dan mulai mengacaukan rambutku. Ketika saya melihat sebuah mobil dengan jendela drak diparkir, saya berhenti di depan salah satu jendela untuk memeriksa refleksi saya. : Oh, rambut saya "saya berkata kepada diri sendiri. "Apa yang kotor" karena saya sedang sibuk menyisir rambutku dengan jari-jari saya, drak jendela trhe telah bergulir. Aku datang berhadapan dengan dosen saya "Anda melihat OK sekarang," katanya. "Bisa bergerak" saya merasa malu ..

Fathul, jakarta

C’Ns, English teen magazine
Vol. 6 no.41 july-agust 2006

By: indah mustika XI.IS.3 on March 5, 2009
at 8:20 am

72. PROPERTI SYNDROME

Radhit was known as the naughty boy in our class. he enjoyed playing pranks on us, especially on a particular girl named Ningrum. One day, Ningrum decided to get even with him. She hid his binder inside her bag. She didn’t realize that rightafter that Radhit also hid something belonging to her, the very same bag! “hey,,where’s my bag? Radhit…..it must be you again. Give it bag to me!” Screamed Ningrum at the top of her voice. Radhit only replied calmly,!not until someone returns my binder. I get the feeling that someone is you!” We almost died wit laughter when we heard Ningrum answer tartly,! your binders inside my bag, you fool! Ha,,,ha,,,ha,,,,you hid your own stuff!”

SINDROM Appraisal

Radhit dikenal sebagai anak nakal di kelas kami. ia menikmati bermain pranks pada kita, terutama pada seorang gadis bernama Ningrum tertentu. Suatu hari, Ningrum memutuskan untuk mendapatkan bahkan dengan dia. Dia menyembunyikan binder nya di dalam tasnya. Dia tidak menyadari bahwa rightafter bahwa Radhit juga menyembunyikan sesuatu milik dia, tas yang sama! "Hei,, mana tas saya? Radhit ... .. itu harus Anda lagi. Berikan tas kepada saya "teriak Ningrum di bagian atas suaranya!. Radhit hanya menjawab dengan tenang,! Tidak sampai kembali seseorang binder saya. Saya mendapatkan perasaan bahwa seseorang adalah Anda "Kami hampir mati tertawa wit ketika kita mendengar jawaban ketus Ningrum,! binder Anda di dalam tas saya, Anda bodoh! Ha,,, ha,,, ha,,,, Anda menyembunyikan barang-barang Anda sendiri! "

Source : C&S Magazine
Vol:6 No:47 April-May 2007

By: Annis.Maidah XI-IS-2 on March 5, 2009
at 8:31 am

73. Who Are You, Wise Guy ?

One afternoon i got an sms from an unknown number. It was in excellent English and i only understood about half of it. It mentioned something like that the english course i attended would be closed for to days due to the horrible floods. It had to be one of my course mates playing a prank on me, i thought. I replied to the message saying. “yeah,,so your english perfect. Anyway,who are you wise guy?” Five minute later i got a reply. It said, “i’m sorry i forgot to tell you. It’s Peter, your class teacher.” After a few minutes i managed to master my courage to text him back. “I’m so sorry, Mr.Peter. I didn’t know it was you and i didn’t mean to be rude. I tought my friend was pulling my leg. I’m truly sorry.” How embarrassing !

Siapa Anda, Wise Guy?

Suatu sore saya mendapat sms dari nomor tak dikenal. Itu adalah dalam bahasa Inggris yang sangat baik dan saya hanya mengerti tentang setengah dari itu. Ini disebutkan sesuatu seperti yang kursus bahasa inggris saya menghadiri akan ditutup untuk untuk hari karena banjir mengerikan. Ini harus menjadi salah satu pasangan saja saya memainkan lelucon pada saya, saya pikir. Aku membalas pesan yang mengatakan. "Yeah,, jadi Anda inggris sempurna. Pokoknya, siapa kamu orang bijak "punya? Lima menit kemudian saya jawaban. Dikatakan, "Saya minta maaf saya lupa memberitahu Anda. Ini Peter, guru kelas Anda "Setelah beberapa menit saya berhasil menguasai keberanian saya untuk teks kembali.. "Maafkan aku, Mr.Peter. Aku tidak tahu itu kau dan aku tidak bermaksud bersikap kasar. Aku pemikiran manusia teman saya menarik kaki saya. Aku benar-benar menyesal "Bagaimana memalukan.!

Source : C&S Magazine
Vol:6 No:47 April-May 2007

By: Chaerunisa XI-IS-2 on March 5, 2009
at 8:45 am

74.  TURN OFF PLEASE

I was in the middle of teaching my class when suddenly I heard a cellphone ringing softly.
”whose cellphoneis that?” I asked my students. No one answered. Instead, everyone looked accusingly at each other. The soft ringing continued and I got impatient
.”C’mon… this is really disturbing. Please turn it off,” I said, raising my voice. To my annoyance, now my student stared back at me with innocent face. The class became quiet while the soft ringing became more audible.
“Hmm. Funny,” I thought. The melody sounds familiar to me. Then it dawned on me that the ringing came from my handbag on the table. Even though I was sure I had turned my cell off, I still grabbed my bag to check. Oops! It was my phone alright! Sorry, it’s my cell phone,” I told my students. I didn’t know what the color my face was, but I prayed hard the bell would ring real
soon.

            MATI PLEASE

Aku berada di tengah-tengah mengajar kelas saya ketika tiba-tiba aku mendengar sebuah ponsel berdering lembut.

"Yang cellphoneis itu?" Tanya saya mahasiswa saya. Tidak ada yang menjawab. Sebaliknya, semua orang memandang menuduh satu sama lain. Lembut dering terus dan aku tidak sabar

"Ayo. ... Ini benar-benar mengganggu. Silakan mematikannya, "kataku, mengangkat suaraku. Untuk jengkel saya, sekarang siswa saya menatap ke arahku dengan wajah polos. Kelas menjadi tenang sementara lunak dering menjadi lebih terdengar.

"Hmm. Lucu, "pikir saya. melodi Suara akrab bagi saya. Kemudian saya sadar bahwa dering berasal dari tas tanganku di atas meja. Meskipun saya yakin saya telah berubah sel saya mati, saya masih menyambar tas saya untuk memeriksa. Ups! Itu baik-baik saja ponsel saya! Maaf, ini ponsel saya, "kata saya mahasiswa saya. Aku tidak tahu apa warna wajah saya, tapi saya berdoa keras bel akan berdering nyata

            segera.

Source : C & S Magazine.
Vol.6 no.45 january – february 2007

By: Hafidz XI.IS.2 on March 5, 2009
at 10:48 am

75. Greedy Buffet Diner

Kenny and his girlfriend penny went to a wedding party with buffet dining. Most of the

guests were people they both knew. While penny was busy chatting around, she couldn’t

help noticing her boyfriend joining her again and again carrying a plate loaded whith

food.

“ken,” she whispered, “stop being so greedy. Aren’t you embarrassed? People must be

noticing how often you’ve helped yourself to the food. Why, it must have been the

twelfth time you’ve been to the buffet.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, baby,” her crush answered.

“ I tell everybody I’m getting something for you.”

Greedy Buffet Diner

Kenny dan penny pacarnya pergi ke sebuah pesta pernikahan dengan makan prasmanan. Sebagian besar

tamu adalah orang-orang yang mereka berdua tahu. Sementara penny sibuk mengobrol sekitar, dia tidak bisa

membantu melihat pacarnya bergabung lagi dan lagi dia membawa piring dimuat whith

              makanan.

"Ken," bisiknya, "berhenti menjadi begitu serakah. Apakah kau tidak malu? Orang harus

memerhatikan seberapa sering Anda telah membantu diri Anda untuk makanan. Mengapa, ia harus menjadi

            waktu dua belas Anda sudah pernah ke prasmanan. "

             "Jangan khawatir tentang suatu hal, bayi," menghancurkan dia menjawab.

             "Saya memberitahu semua orang saya mendapatkan sesuatu untuk Anda."

Source : C & S Magazine
Vol. 2 No. 18 January – February 2003

By: Andri Maulana XI. IA on March 5, 2009
at 11:16 am

Erly Shopping

It was holiday season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my shopping early, “ replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,“ said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” countered the prisioner.

Erly Belanja

Saat itu musim liburan dan hakim itu dalam suasana hati yang riang saat ia bertanya kepada tahanan, "Apa yang kamu dibebankan dengan?"

             "Melakukan belanja saya dari awal," jawab terdakwa.

           

              "Itu pelanggaran," kata hakim. "Bagaimana awal kau melakukan belanja ini?"

            "Sebelum toko dibuka," balas prisioner tersebut.

Source : C’nS Magazine
Vol. 4 No.26 August – Sept 2004

By: Edgard Lamartua XI IA on March 5, 2009
at 11:48 am

76. THE ISLAND

Everyone on the passenger ship is amazed to see a bearded man on a small island shouting and desperately waving his hands.
“who is that guy?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I’ve no idea. every year when we pass, he goes nuts.”

PULAU

Semua orang di kapal penumpang adalah kagum melihat seorang pria berjanggut di sebuah pulau kecil berteriak dan sangat melambaikan tangannya.

            "Siapa orang itu?" Tanya seorang penumpang kapten.

    "Aku tidak tahu. setiap tahun ketika kita lulus, dia pergi kacang. "

Source : C’ n S Magazine
Vol : 6
No : 44
nAmE : Nurdiani
CLass : Xl-Is 3

By: nurdiani_XI.Is 3 on March 5, 2009
at 12:49 pm

77.  TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

A man was invited to a friend’s hame for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Honey. Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 70 years.
While the wife was in the kitchen, he said,”I think it’s wonderful that after all the years, you still call your wife those pet names.” His buddy hung his hand. “To tell you truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”

PERSYARATAN sayang

Seorang pria diundang untuk hame seorang teman untuk makan malam, di mana ia melihat bahwa temannya mendahului setiap permintaan kepada istrinya dengan jangka menawan, memanggilnya Honey. Sayang, Sayang, Labu, dll Dia terkesan, karena pasangan sudah menikah hampir 70 tahun.

    Sementara istri itu di dapur, ia berkata, "Saya pikir bagus bahwa setelah bertahun-tahun, Anda masih menelepon istri Anda nama-nama hewan peliharaan." Buddy-Nya menggantung tangannya. "Terus terang, aku lupa namanya sekitar 10 tahun yang lalu."

SOURCE : C’nS Magazine
Vol. 2 No. 9 July – August 2002

By: Diar Iswari Arachim XI. IPS 2 on March 5, 2009
at 12:55 pm

78. WhOSe Face is it ?????

A woman in the supermaket checkout line paid with a $50 bill.

To make sure it wasn’t counterfeit,the clerk cerefully inspected it, holding it up to the light and examining the bill’s ink and adges , but she doesn’t seem saisfied with what she saw .

Finally she looked across to the manager and called out,”Hey,Joe ! Whose face is on a fifty?”

Wajah siapa ini ?????

             Seorang wanita di kasir supermaket dibayar dengan uang $ 50.

Untuk memastikan hal itu tidak palsu, petugas cerefully diperiksa itu, memegangnya ke cahaya dan memeriksa tinta RUU dan adges, tapi dia tidak tampak saisfied dengan apa yang dilihatnya.

Akhirnya ia memandang ke seberang untuk manajer dan berseru, "Hei, Joe! wajah siapa ada di lima puluh itu? "

source: C’n S magazine
Vol:3
No:21
January-February 2004

By: gHezta Resty xI_ipa on March 5, 2009
at 12:55 pm

79.  GETTING OLDER

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes Icatch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand,while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether Iwas on may way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said,” That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

MENDAPATKAN TUA

Tiga wanita sedang mendiskusikan kerja keras untuk mendapatkan yang lebih tua. Satu berkata, "Kadang-kadang Icatch diri dengan sebotol mayones di tanganku, sambil berdiri di depan lemari es, dan aku tidak ingat apakah saya harus menyimpannya, atau mulai membuat sandwich."

Istri kedua menimpali dengan, "Ya, kadang-kadang saya menemukan diri di bordes tangga dan tidak dapat ingat apakah Iwas di dapat jalan sampai atau dalam perjalanan saya turun." Yang ketiga menjawab, "Yah, wanita, aku ' m senang Saya tidak punya masalah itu. Mengetuk kayu, "sambil mengetuk buku-buku di atas meja, dan kemudian berkata," Itu pasti pintu, aku akan mendapatkannya! "

SOURCE : C ‘n S Magazine
Vol.2 No. 9 July – August 2002

By: Listiani Tia XI. IPA on March 5, 2009
at 1:12 pm

80. SCHOOL DAZE

it was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her students. the florist’s son handed her a gift. she shook it, held it overhead, and said, ” I bet I know what it is. flowers.”
“that’s right,” the boy said “but how did you know?”
“oh, just a wild guess,” she said.
yhe next pupil was the candy shop owner’s daughter. the teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess wha it is. a box of sweets.”
“that’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl.
“oh, just lucky guess,” said the teacher.
the next gift was from the son of the liqour store owner. the teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. she touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and licked it.
“is it wine?” she asked.
“no,” the boy replied, with some excitement.
the teacher took one more taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”
with great happiness, the boy replied, “it’s a puppy!”

SEKOLAH Daze

itu pada akhir tahun sekolah, dan seorang guru TK sedang menerima hadiah dari murid-muridnya. anak toko bunga memberinya hadiah. dia menggeleng itu, memegangnya overhead, dan berkata, "Aku yakin aku tahu apa itu. bunga. "

             "Itu benar," kata anak itu "tapi bagaimana kau tahu?"

             "Oh, hanya menebak," katanya.

             yhe murid berikutnya adalah putri pemilik toko permen. guru mengadakan overhead hadiah, menggeleng, dan berkata, "Aku yakin aku bisa menebak wha itu. kotak permen. "

             "Itu benar, tapi bagaimana kau tahu?" Tanya gadis itu.

            "Oh, hanya menebak beruntung," kata gurunya.

            hadiah berikutnya dari anak dari pemilik toko liqour. guru memegang overhead paket, tapi itu bocor. dia menyentuh setetes kebocoran dengan jarinya dan menjilat itu.

             "Itu anggur?" Tanyanya.

              "Tidak," jawab anak itu, dengan beberapa kegembiraan.

             guru mengambil satu rasa lagi sebelum menyatakan, "Aku menyerah, apa itu?"

            dengan kebahagiaan besar, anak itu menjawab, "itu anak anjing!"

source : C n’ S magazine
Vol : 8
No : 62
date : february – march 2009

By: ervina putri_X1 IPA on March 5, 2009
at 1:38 pm

81. No Paperwork

The personnel manager was interviewing a guy in the threadbare suit. “so,” he said ,”what position did you have in mind?”
“anything that ain’t got nothing to do with reading or writing.”
“Why?You don’t like paperwork?”
“No,it’s cause I can’t do either.”
“Now how did that happen?”
“Well,you see, I only went to school once.”
“So?”
“It was for only one day, and that was at night, and the lights went out and the teacher didn’t come.”

No Dokumen

Manajer personalia mewawancarai seorang pria dalam setelan usang. "Jadi," katanya, "posisi apa yang ada dalam pikiran?"

"Segala sesuatu yang tidak punya apa-apa hubungannya dengan membaca atau menulis."

            "Mengapa Anda lakukan? Tidak suka dokumen?"

            "Tidak, itu karena aku tidak bisa melakukan keduanya."

            "Sekarang bagaimana itu terjadi?"

             "Nah, Anda lihat, saya hanya pergi ke sekolah sekali."

             "Jadi?"

    "Itu hanya untuk satu hari, dan itu di malam hari, dan lampu padam dan guru tidak datang."

source : Cn’S magazine
Vol : 2
No. :10
date : august-september 2002

By: indriani xI is3 on March 6, 2009
at 6:40 am

82. ~Safe to swim~

While fishing off the florida coast, a tourist cap sized his boat. He could swim, but his fear with alligators made him stay on his boat. Spotting a beach watcher standing on the shore, the tourist shouted “are there any gators around here??”
“no” the man hollered back, “they haven’t been around for years!!”. Felling safe, the tourist started swimming lei surely, toward the shore. About half way there he asked the beach watcher, “how did you get rid of the gators??”
“we didn’t do anything, “the beach watcher said, “the sharks got them”

~ Aman untuk berenang ~

Saat memancing di lepas pantai florida, topi wisata berukuran perahu. Dia bisa berenang, tapi takut dengan buaya membuatnya tinggal di perahu. Bercak yang berdiri di pantai pengamat di pantai, wisatawan berteriak "yang ada buaya di sekitar sini??"

"Tidak" teriak orang itu kembali, "mereka belum ada selama bertahun-tahun!!". Penebangan aman, wisatawan mulai lei berenang pasti, menuju pantai. Sekitar setengah jalan di sana ia meminta pemantauan pantai, "bagaimana kau bisa sembuh dari buaya??"

    "Kami tidak melakukan apa-apa," kata pengamat pantai berkata, "hiu punya mereka"

Source : C’ns magazine
Vol : 4
No : 26, Agust-sept 2004

By: Hidayatullah_Hamdani on March 6, 2009
at 8:01 am

83. …..Cater pillar on the menu…..

Johny : Daddy, are cater pillars good to eat??
Father : didn’t I tell you never to mention such things during meals !!
Mother : why did you say that, junior? Why did you ask the question??
Johny : it’s because I saw one on dad y’s lettuce, but I now it’s gone

... .. Cater pilar pada menu ... ..

             Johny: Ayah, yang melayani pilar yang baik untuk dimakan?

            Ayah: tidak saya katakan tidak pernah menyebutkan hal-hal seperti saat makan!

    Ibu: kenapa kamu mengatakan bahwa, SMP? Mengapa Anda mengajukan pertanyaan?

             Johny: itu karena aku melihat satu di selada ayah y, tapi aku sekarang sudah pergi

Source : C’ns magazine
Vol : 4
No : 26, Agust-sept 2004

By: Hidayatullah_Hamdani on March 6, 2009
at 8:08 am

84. SMART CLERK
    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and ask,”w-w-w-where’s the m-m man’s dep-p-partment ?”the clerk behind the counter just a look at him and says nothing.The man repeats him self,”w-w-where’s the m-m man’s dep-p-partment?”again,the clerk doesn’t answer him.
    The guy ask several more times,”w-w-w where the m-m-m mans dep-p-partment?”The clerk just keeps ignoring him.
    Finally,in a fury,the guys storm off the next customer in line ask the clerk,why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?”
    The clerk answer,”d-d-d-d do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-beat up.

SMART Clerk

Seorang pria berotot yang benar-benar besar dengan gagap buruk pergi ke counter di toko serba ada dan bertanya, "www-mana orang mm itu dep-p-partment?" Petugas di belakang meja hanya melihat dia dan kata pria nothing.The mengulangi dirinya, "ww-mana dep orang mm Teman-p-partment?" lagi, petugas tidak menjawab.

Orang itu bertanya lagi beberapa kali, "www mana mmm mans dep-p-partment?" Petugas hanya terus mengabaikannya.

Akhirnya, dalam marah, maka badai orang-orang dari pelanggan berikutnya sejalan meminta petugas, mengapa tidak akan Anda menjawab pertanyaan itu orang itu? "

Jawaban petugas, "dddd Anda ke-ke-ke-www-pikir saya ingin mendapatkan bb-beat up.

Source :C n’ s Magazine
vol:5
no:13
page:23
date:3 january-febuary 2006

By: Anindhika Ayudhya on March 6, 2009
at 9:51 am

85. WRONG CAR
    my causins and i went to a shopping mall in their car. i was tired after school and was feeling a bit sick. as we were coming out of the shopping mall,i renembered that a needed the correction pen. coming out of the mall,i went directlyto may cousins car and grabbed the door handle.to my surprise, it didn’t open.as i tired again,the window suddenly slid down and a face stared at me from inside the car. it wasn’t any of my cousins’ faces.then i heard voice shouting not far away. my cousins’ voice! oh,my god! my face turned red. i had tried to get into the wrong car. i apologized and hurried to my cousins’ car. they all teassed me. i was so mortified…

SALAH MOBIL

causins saya dan saya pergi ke sebuah pusat perbelanjaan di dalam mobil mereka. saya sedang lelah setelah sekolah dan merasa sedikit sakit. saat kami keluar dari pusat perbelanjaan, saya renembered bahwa diperlukan pena koreksi. keluar dari mall tersebut, saya pergi directlyto mobil dapat sepupu dan meraih handle.to pintu mengejutkan saya, itu tidak open.as i lelah lagi, jendela tiba-tiba meluncur ke bawah dan wajah menatapku dari dalam mobil. itu tidak ada i faces.then sepupu saya mendengar suara teriakan tidak jauh. sepupu saya suara! oh, Tuhan! wajahku berubah merah. saya harus mencoba untuk masuk ke mobil yang salah. saya meminta maaf dan bergegas ke mobil sepupu saya. mereka semua teassed saya. saya sangat malu ...

source :C n’ s Magazine
vol:4 no.30 February-March 2005

By: fadliah XI IPS 1 on March 6, 2009
at 12:55 pm

86. The wrong guy at the wrong place

My sister, her friend, my boyfriend and I were window-shopping on a typical hot and crowded Saturday afternoon in kota kembang market, Bandung. The street was packed with people on both sides. Even cars were having a hard time passing through. Knowing that it would be hard for the four of us to walk side-by-side, we walked in pairs. I was leading the group alongside my boyfriend with my sister and her friend tagging along behind us. Suddenly, my sister nudged me, saying that there were cute necklaces being sold at a necklaces vendor. I turned around and said, “yeah, but maybe next time.” I turned back and held my boyfriend by his arm…only to find thet it wasn’t him. It was a man with a build and shirt similar to my boyfriend. He stated at me, probably wondering why this strange girl was holding his arm. I stopped and stammered, “I’m sorry,” I’m so sorry,” and quickly walked away as my sister, her friend, and my boyfriend were giggling at me. What an embarrassing moment.

Orang yang salah di tempat yang salah

    adik saya, temannya, pacar saya dan saya window-shopping di siang yang panas dan ramai Sabtu khas di pasar kota kembang, Bandung. jalan itu penuh sesak dengan orang-orang di kedua belah pihak. Bahkan mobil mengalami kesulitan melewati. Mengetahui bahwa akan sulit bagi kami berempat berjalan side-by-side, kami berjalan berpasangan. Aku sedang memimpin grup bersama pacar saya dengan adik saya dan temannya penandaan di belakang kami. Tiba-tiba, adikku menyikutku, mengatakan bahwa ada kalung lucu yang dijual di vendor kalung. Aku berbalik dan berkata, "ya, tapi mungkin lain kali." Aku berbalik kembali dan dimiliki pacar saya dengan lengannya ... hanya untuk menemukan utamanya bukan dia. Ini adalah seorang pria dengan membangun dan kemeja mirip dengan pacar saya. Dia menyatakan pada saya, mungkin bertanya-tanya mengapa gadis ini aneh sedang memegang lengannya. Aku berhenti dan terbata-bata, "Maaf," Saya sangat menyesal, "dan dengan cepat berjalan pergi sebagai kakak saya, teman, dan pacar saya cekikikan padaku. Apa saat yang memalukan

Aninla, bandung

Hal: 35
Vol: 6 no.45 januari-february 2007
C’Ns magazine

By: heri setiawan, XI.IS.1 on March 7, 2009
at 10:43 am

87. Could you please sit down

Thank god I got a seat, I said to my self. I felt sorry for those who were standing : squeezed and packed like sardine inside this bus. To top it off, the weather was very hot and the road was jammed. The bus inched forward. At last it arrived at a junction where some of the passenger off .Phew!
Now at least some of the passenger can rest their tired feet, I thought. Then I heard a voice, ”Ma’am, please go sit over there!”. I saw the bus drivers conductor talk to an elderly woman .The woman kept standing and said that her destination would be just around the corner. The man went on saying,” There’s an empty seat over there.”This time the woman just shook her head.” Ma’am please go sit over there!” he urged in a impatient tone. I noticed that the woman’s face change to red as she said in a loud and stern voice, “ look here,young man…….how many times have I told you I don’t want to sit.It’s good thing you are not my son in-law!’ Hearing this, many of passenger snorted as they tried to keep themselves from laughing at the stubborn man.

Bisa tolong duduk

Syukurlah aku duduk, saya berkata pada diri saya. Saya merasa kasihan bagi mereka yang berdiri: diperas dan dikemas seperti sarden di dalam bus ini. Untuk top it off, cuaca sangat panas dan jalan macet. Bus beringsut maju. Akhirnya tiba di persimpangan dimana beberapa penumpang off. Phew!

Sekarang setidaknya beberapa penumpang bisa beristirahat kaki lelah mereka, pikirku. Lalu aku mendengar suara, "Bu, silakan duduk di sana!". Saya melihat bicara sopir bus konduktor untuk seorang wanita tua wanita itu terus berdiri dan. Mengatakan bahwa tujuan dia akan hanya sekitar sudut. Orang itu melanjutkan berkata, "Ada sebuah kursi kosong di sana." Kali ini perempuan itu hanya menggelengkan kepalanya. "Bu silakan duduk di sana!" ia mendesak dengan nada tidak sabar. Saya melihat bahwa menghadapi perubahan wanita itu menjadi merah saat ia berkata dengan suara keras dan tegas, "lihat di sini, anak muda ... .... Berapa kali aku bilang aku tidak ingin sit.It 's hal yang baik Anda tidak saya anak di-hukum! " Mendengar ini, banyak penumpang mendengus ketika mereka mencoba untuk menjaga diri dari tertawa pada pria keras kepala.

(source:CNS magazine – vol 4. no 30. febuary-maret 2005 )

By: Gerry yehezkiel ( IX.IS.1) on March 8, 2009
at 2:20 am

88. TIGHT FIT

Little billy asked Miss Laura, his kindergarten teacher, to help put his boots on. It was pretty hard for her to do it. With her pulling and pushing, the boots still didn’t want to move. When she finally could make it, little billy said, “But Miss, they are on the wrong feet.” Laura looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She manage to keep her cool as they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet.
Billy than announced, “these aren’t my boots.” Laura in haled, bit her lips, and said, “ why didn’t you say so?” Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill fitting boots off.
He then said, “they’re my brother’s boots. My mom made me wear them.” Laura didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She then mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots onto his feet again.
When laura finally manage to put on Billy’s boots, she said, “Now, where are your mittens?”
Billy said. “ I stuffed them in the toes of my boots…”

KETAT FIT

Little Billy tanya Miss Laura, guru TK nya, untuk membantu meletakkan sepatu di atas. Ini cukup sulit baginya untuk melakukannya. Dengan dia menarik dan mendorong, sepatu tetap tidak mau pindah. Ketika ia akhirnya bisa datang, sedikit billy berkata, "Tapi Miss, mereka berada di kaki yang salah." Laura terlihat, dan benar saja, mereka. Itu tidak lebih mudah menarik sepatu daripada itu menempatkan mereka pada. Dia mengatur untuk tetap tenang karena mereka bekerja untuk mendapatkan sepatu kembali-kali ini pada kaki kanan.

Billy dari mengumumkan, "ini bukan sepatu saya." Laura haled, menggigit bibir, dan berkata, "mengapa Anda tidak berkata begitu?" Sekali lagi dia berjuang untuk membantu dia menarik sepatu pas off.

Dia kemudian berkata, "mereka sepatu kakak saya. Ibuku membuat saya memakainya "Laura tidak tahu apakah ia harus tertawa atau menangis.. Dia kemudian mengumpulkan sampai kasih karunia untuk menggeluti sepatu ke kaki lagi.

Ketika laura akhirnya mengatur untuk memakai sepatu Billy, ia berkata, "Sekarang, mana sarung tangan Anda?"

              Billy kata. "Saya memasukkan mereka di ujung sepatu saya ..."

Title of magazine : C’nS Magazine
Vol : 7 No. 54 February-March 2008
Page : 19

By: Indra Sudarsono XI IPA on March 8, 2009
at 2:45 am

89. EINSTEIN CHAUFFEUR
    When Albert Einstein is making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually finds himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as he is being driven to yet another boring dinner, Einstein mentions to his chauffeur ( a man who somewhat resembles Einstein in looks and manner) that he is tired of speech making.

“ I have an idea boss,” his chauffeur says. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. i’ll bet could give it for you.”

Einstein laughs loudly and says, “ Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein puts on the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sits in the back of the room. The chauffeur gives a beautiful performance of Einstein’s speech and even a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely self-important professor asks an extremely complicated question about antimatter formation, stop to talk about something else here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he is nobody’s fool.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the chauffeur fixes the professor with steely stare and says. “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

EINSTEIN sopir

Ketika Albert Einstein membuat putaran rangkaian pembicara, biasanya dia menemukan dirinya dengan penuh semangat kerinduan untuk mendapatkan kembali bekerja laboratoriumnya. Suatu malam saat dia sedang didorong untuk makan malam lagi membosankan, Einstein menyebutkan untuk sopir-nya (orang yang agak mirip Einstein dalam penampilan dan cara) bahwa dia lelah membuat pidato.

"Aku punya bos ide," kata sopir-nya. "Saya pernah mendengar Anda memberikan pidato ini begitu banyak kali. Aku berani bertaruh bisa memberikan untuk Anda. "

            Einstein tertawa keras dan berkata, "Mengapa tidak? Mari kita melakukannya! "

            Ketika mereka tiba di acara makan malam, Einstein memakai topi sopir dan jaket dan duduk di belakang ruangan. sopir ini memberikan kinerja yang indah dari pidato Einstein dan bahkan beberapa pertanyaan ahli.

Kemudian seorang profesor sangat penting diri menanyakan pertanyaan yang sangat rumit tentang pembentukan antimateri, berhenti untuk berbicara tentang sesuatu yang lain di sini dan di sana untuk membiarkan semua orang di antara para penonton tahu bahwa dia adalah bodoh siapa-siapa.

Tanpa ragu-ragu sesaat, sopir perbaikan profesor dengan tatapan membaja dan mengatakan. "Sir, jawaban atas pertanyaan yang sangat sederhana bahwa saya akan membiarkan sopir saya, yang duduk di belakang, jawabannya untukku."

SOURCE :CN’S magazine vol 7 no 49 july-august 2007 page 26

NAME : LIESYE NOVITA

CLASS : XI SOCIAL 3

By: LiEsYe nOvITA xi soc 3 on March 8, 2009
at 9:36 am

90. Baseball in heaven

Moe and same, who both are ninety years old, have been friend all their lives. Sam seems to be dying, so moe comes to visit him.

“sam ,”say moe,”you know how we have both loved baseball all our live. Sam, you have to do me one favor. When you go, some how you’ve get to tell me if there’s baseball in heaven, sam looks up at moe from his deathbet and say, moe, you’ve been my friend for many years. I’ll do this favor for you. And with that, sam passes on.

It is midnight a couple of night later. moe is sound a sleep whent a distant voice calls out to him,”moe………,moe……….”

Who is it? Says moe, sitting up suddenly. Who is it?

Moe it’s sam. Come on. You’re not sam. Sam died.

I’m telling you, insist the voice it’s me, sam!

Sam?is thatyou?where are you? I’m in heaven, says sam, and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve got some got news and some bad news.

Tell me the good first, say moe.
The good news is, says sam that there baseball in heaven.
Really? Say moe that’s wonderful what’s the bad news?
You’re pitching Tuesday!”

Baseball di surga

Moe dan sama, yang keduanya sembilan puluh tahun, telah menjadi teman sepanjang hidup mereka. Sam tampaknya sekarat, sehingga moe datang untuk mengunjunginya.

"Sam," kata moe, "tahu Anda bagaimana kami memiliki keduanya baseball mengasihi semua hidup kita. Sam, Anda harus melakukan saya satu hal. Jika Anda pergi, beberapa bagaimana Anda bisa memberitahu saya jika ada bisbol di surga, sam menengadah di moe dari deathbet dan berkata, moe, Anda telah teman saya selama bertahun-tahun. Aku akan berbuat baik ini untuk Anda. Dan dengan itu, sam melewati pada.

Ini adalah tengah malam beberapa malam nanti. moe adalah suara whent tidur suara panggilan keluar jauh kepadanya, "moe ... ... ..., moe ... ... ...."

             Siapa itu? Kata moe, duduk tiba-tiba. Siapa itu?

            Moe itu sam. Ayolah. Kau tidak sam. Sam meninggal.

             Aku bilang, bersikeras suara ini aku, sam!

Sam? Adalah thatyou? Di mana kau? Aku di surga, kata sam, dan aku harus memberitahu Anda, saya punya beberapa berita punya dan beberapa kabar buruk.

             Katakan padaku yang pertama yang baik, mengatakan moe.

            Kabar baiknya adalah, mengatakan sam bahwa ada bisbol di surga.

            Benarkah? moe Katakanlah yang bagus apa kabar buruk?

            Kau pitching Selasa! "

CN”S magazine
Vol : 8
No.46
oct-nov 2008

By: DIPO SYAHRUDIN on March 8, 2009
at 2:16 pm

91. BRIDGE EPISODE

“great” this could be a shorcut,” i said to my self when i saw a new pedestarian bridge over an artery road.this way i don’t need to take the u-turn 2 km further away. just like several other pedestrian bridges, this one also had a ramp section running along the steps for motor riders. i rode my motorbike up smoothly until i arrived at the top of the bridge. looking down,m irealized that this bridge was pretty high. i got cold feet. i rally doubted if i could ride down on the other side as calmly as i rode up. so i decided to step off my motorbike and hold on to it while going down the bridge. it surely was safer but my feet wouldn’t stop trembling and i perspired rofusely. i didn’t know why, but halfway down, my pants started to drop, showing my underpants, to make matters worse, a bunch of girls were walking behind me, i couldn’t do any thing because my hands were wee holding on to the motorbike. one of the girl over came her shock and helped me hold the bike while i quickly pulled up my pants. at that moment, i just wanted the earth to swallw me alive.

BRIDGE EPISODE

           

            "Besar" ini bisa menjadi shorcut, "kata saya kepada diri saya ketika saya melihat sebuah jembatan pedestarian baru melalui cara arteri road.this saya tidak perlu mengambil u-turn 2 km lebih jauh. seperti beberapa jembatan penyeberangan yang lain, yang satu ini juga memiliki bagian jalan di sepanjang langkah-langkah untuk pengendara motor. saya naik sepeda motor saya sampai mulus sampai saya tiba di atas jembatan. melihat ke bawah, m irealized bahwa jembatan ini cukup tinggi. i got kaki dingin. i rally ragu apakah saya bisa naik turun di sisi lain setenang saya naik. jadi saya memutuskan untuk turun dari sepeda motor saya dan berpegang pada itu sementara turun jembatan. itu pasti lebih aman tapi kaki saya tidak akan berhenti gemetar dan saya berkeringat rofusely. saya tidak tahu mengapa, tapi setengah, celana saya mulai turun, menunjukkan celana saya, untuk membuat keadaan menjadi lebih buruk, sekelompok gadis-gadis berjalan di belakang saya, saya tidak bisa melakukan hal apapun karena tanganku wee berpegang pada sepeda motor. salah satu gadis di atas datang shock dan membantu saya memegang sepeda, sementara saya cepat menarik celanaku. pada saat itu, saya hanya ingin bumi untuk swallw saya hidup

magazine : cns cool and smart
vol : 6
number : 42
date : august – september 2006

By: adi maulana XI-SOC 2 on March 9, 2009
at 4:27 am

92. ~Slobber on the Train~

One day, I was on the train on my way home from my grandmother’s place. I had spent the day there and I was very tired . I tired to stay awake, but didn’t succeed. After some time, my eyelids started to feel very heavy. Before I knew it, I was slobbering. startled, I awoke to find two beautiful girl who were sitting in front of me giggling and watching me. I was mortified!

~ Iler pada Melatih ~

Suatu hari, aku berada di kereta dalam perjalanan pulang dari tempat nenek saya. Aku telah menghabiskan hari di sana dan saya sangat lelah. Saya lelah untuk tetap terjaga, tetapi tidak berhasil. Setelah beberapa waktu, kelopak mata saya mulai merasa sangat berat. Sebelum aku tahu itu, aku air liur. terkejut, aku terbangun untuk menemukan dua gadis cantik yang duduk di depan saya cekikikan dan menonton saya. Aku malu!

SOURCE:CN’S magazine july-august 2007 page28
VOL: 3
NO :18
NAMA: andreas rio feirawan
CLASS: XI IS 3

By: Andreas R.F. on March 9, 2009
at 12:06 pm

93. THE POPE ON TOUR

The Pope has just finished a tour of Napa Valley and is taking a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, the Pope asks the chauffeur if he might drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn’t have much choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see what the limo can do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the red and blue lights of a CHP cruiser in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window.

ATAS PAUS ON TOUR

Paus baru saja selesai tur Napa Valley dan mengambil limusin ke San Francisco. Karena belum pernah didorong limo, Paus meminta sopir jika ia bisa drive untuk sementara waktu. Nah, sopir tidak memiliki banyak pilihan, jadi dia naik di belakang limusin dan Paus mengambil kemudi.

Hasil Paus bawah Silverado, dan mulai mempercepat untuk melihat apa limo bisa dilakukan. Dia mendapat sampai sekitar 90 mph, dan tiba-tiba ia melihat lampu merah dan biru dari sebuah mobil CHP di cermin itu. Dia menarik atas dan polisi datang ke jendela.

By: edison rizki leonardo on March 9, 2009
at 12:36 pm

94. VALUABLE PAINTINGS

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
“I have good news and bad news,”the owner replied.
“the good news is that a gentleman was curious about your work of art and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.When I told him it would,he bought all 15 of your paintings.”
“That’s wonderfull,”the artist exlclaimed.
“What’s the bad news?”
“The guy was your doctor.”

            LUKISAN BERHARGA

Seorang seniman meminta pemilik galeri kalau sudah ada kepentingan dalam lukisannya yang dipamerkan pada waktu itu.

             "Saya punya kabar baik dan berita buruk," jawab pemilik.

             "Kabar baiknya adalah bahwa seorang gentleman penasaran tentang pekerjaan Anda seni dan bertanya-tanya apakah itu akan menghargai nilai setelah death.When Anda Saya katakan itu akan, ia membeli semua 15 lukisan Anda."

             "Itu wonderfull," exlclaimed artis.

             "Apa kabar buruk?"

             "Orang itu dokter.”

By: fahzrah astrianj(XI is 3) on March 10, 2009
at 6:18 am

95. Run
    I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes.
    However, I must share the following:
    After putting a short program on the board, I told the students to type “R,” “U,” “N” and press return to see the program execute.
    A hand went up in the back of the room, waving to get my attention, and the person attached to the hand said, “I did what you said and it didn’t work.” Knowing full-well that all of us make mistakes when typing at the computer, I suggested she retype “R,” “U,” “N” and press return. A few seconds later, the lady’s hand goes up again. “It still doesn’t work,” she said.
    So… I went back to see what the problem was … only to find that instead of typing RUN, she had typed in the following: ARE YOU IN !

Menjalankan

Saya mengajar kelas yang sangat mendasar dalam pemrograman BASIC kepada sekelompok orang dewasa. Orang dewasa yang belum pernah sekitar komputer sebelum sangat gugup dan lebih sulit untuk mengajar dari anak-anak, namun saya orang pasien jadi aku menikmati keberhasilan mereka.

Namun, saya harus berbagi hal berikut:

Setelah membuat program singkat di papan tulis, saya mengatakan kepada siswa untuk tipe "R," "U," "N" dan tekan ENTER untuk melihat program eksekusi.

Sebuah tangan naik di bagian belakang ruangan, melambai-lambai untuk mendapatkan perhatian saya, dan orang yang melekat pada tangan berkata, "Saya melakukan apa yang Anda katakan dan tidak berhasil." Mengetahui penuh-baik bahwa kita semua membuat kesalahan saat mengetik di depan komputer, saya menyarankan dia ulang "R," "U," "N" dan tekan ENTER. Beberapa detik kemudian, tangan wanita itu naik lagi. "Itu masih tidak berhasil," katanya.

Jadi ... aku kembali untuk melihat apa masalahnya ... hanya untuk menemukan bahwa alih-alih mengetik RUN, dia telah mengetik dalam hal berikut: APAKAH ANDA DALAM!

Magazine : CnS
Vol : 3
Hal : 28
Edisi : Mei-Juni 2002
Nama : Dwi Hayati
Kelas : XI.IPS.3

By: Dwi Hayati XI.IPS.3 on March 10, 2009
at 6:48 am

96. The Smart Blonde

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.
He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. “Hey, wanna play a game?” he asks her. “No thank you, i just want to take a nap.” “Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don’t know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don’t know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars.”
“I really don’t want to do this. I just want to take a nap.”
“Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don’t know the answer to your question, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.” The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.
“Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?” the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. “What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?”.
The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.
After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question.”What was the answer to the riddle?” the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

Smart Blonde

Seorang wanita berambut pirang papan pesawat terbang. Dia sangat lelah dan hanya ingin tidur siang. Dia akhirnya menemukan tempat duduknya dan duduk di samping seorang pemuda yang sangat penasaran.

Dia ingin menguji seluruh menjuluki hal pirang dan mungkin membuat uang dari itu. "Hei, ingin bermain game?" Tanyanya nya. "Tidak, terima kasih, saya hanya ingin tidur siang." "Silakan, sangat mudah, yang harus Anda lakukan adalah menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang saya tanyakan Anda. Jika Anda tidak tahu jawabannya, maka Anda memberi saya lima dolar, dan jika saya tidak tahu jawaban atas pertanyaan Anda, kemudian Sakit memberikan lima dolar. "

            "Saya benar-benar tidak ingin melakukan ini. Aku hanya ingin tidur siang. "

             "Oh tapi PLEASE cantik silahkan. Oke, bagaimana jika saya tidak tahu jawaban untuk pertanyaan Anda, saya akan memberimu lima ratus dolar. "Wanita pirang menjadi tertarik dan memutuskan untuk bermain game.

"Oke. Berapa banyak bulan tidak jupiter memiliki? "Tanya si pemuda. Perempuan itu merogoh dompetnya dan mengeluarkan selembar uang lima dolar. "Apa yang naik gunung dengan tiga kaki dan kembali turun dengan empat?".

Orang muda, bertekad untuk tidak kalah, keluar laptop dan mencari seluruh internet untuk menjawab. Bingung dan bingung, tangan pemuda itu lima ratus dolar pirang.

Setelah beberapa jam, pria muda itu gatal untuk mengetahui jawaban atas pertanyaan "Apa jawaban teka-teki?". Pirang wanita merogoh tasnya dan menyerahkan pemuda tagihan lima dolar.

Magazine : CnS
Vol : 3
Hal : 12
Edisi : Mei-Juni 2002

Nama : Kartina Sari
Kelas : XI.IPS.3

By: Kartina Sari XI.IPS.3 on March 10, 2009
at 6:52 am

97. Talking Clock

Leading the way into the den, a collage student proudly shows off his new apartmen to friends.
“What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asks.
“Thath is a talking clock,” the collage student replied.
“How does it work?”the friends asks.
“watch,”the guy says,then proceeds to give the gong an ear shattering blow with the hammer,suddenly from the other side of the wall comes a scream,”KNOCK IT OFF,
YOU IDIOT!
It’s two AM in the morning!”

Berbicara Jam

Memimpin jalan ke ruang kerja, seorang mahasiswa kolase dengan bangga menunjukkan dari apartmen baru untuk teman-teman.

            "Apa gong kuningan besar dan palu untuk?" Tanya salah satu temannya.

            "Thath adalah sebuah jam berbicara," jawab mahasiswa.

             "Bagaimana cara kerjanya?" Tanya teman-teman.

   "Menonton," kata orang itu, kemudian mulai memberikan telinga gong menghancurkan pukulan dengan palu, tiba-tiba dari sisi lain dinding datang jeritan, "KNOCK IT OFF,

            ANDA IDIOT!

             It's 2:00 pagi! "

By: Abdul Karim Muhith XI IS 2 on March 10, 2009
at 12:42 pm

98. 

“DIFERENT IMPRESSIONS”

A wealthy man had asked Pablo Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife.
Starled by the nonrepsentational image on the final canvas,the woman’s husband complained, “It isn’t how she really looks.”
When asked by Picasso how she really looked, the man took a photograph out of his wallet.
Picasso observed the photograph,returned it,and said, “Small, isn’t she?

"BERBEDA KESAN"

            Seorang pria kaya telah meminta Pablo Picasso untuk melukis potret istrinya.

             Starled oleh gambar nonrepsentational pada akhir kanvas, suami wanita itu mengeluh, "Hal ini tidak bagaimana ia benar-benar terlihat."

Ketika ditanya oleh Picasso bagaimana ia benar-benar tampak, pria itu mengambil foto dari dompetnya.

            Picasso mengamati foto itu, kembali itu, dan berkata, "Kecil, bukan?

Source : Magazine CNS
Vol : 5
No : 39
Edisi : April-May 2006

By: Yuliana Marbun (XI IS 1) on March 11, 2009
at 7:25 am

99. Toring South America

a tourist is traveling through cne of the thickest jungles in south america, when he comes across an acient Mayan temple and is amazed by it. He asks the guide, “How old is this temple?”
“This temple is exactly 1503 years old,” replied the guide. “how can be so sure?”
inquired the tourist.
“Eazy,” replied the guide,”an archeologist came here and told me this temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago.”

Pemantauan Amerika Selatan

wisatawan melakukan perjalanan melalui CNE dari hutan tebal di america selatan, ketika dia datang di sebuah kuil Maya acient dan kagum olehnya. Dia meminta panduan, "Berapa umur candi ini?"

"Candi ini tepatnya tahun 1503," jawab pemandu. "Bagaimana bisa begitu yakin?"

              tanya wisatawan.

             "EAZY," jawab pemandu, "datang arkeolog di sini dan mengatakan kepada saya candi ini 1500 tahun, dan itu tiga tahun lalu."

Sourch: Magazine C’n'S
Vol 4 no. 30
February-March 2005

By: Lisa XI IS 1 on March 11, 2009
at 7:28 am

100. Grandfather or porridge

David lived with his grandfather in a small village. He was not clever but he was honest and obedient as well. He always obeyed whatever his grandfather told him. One Sunday morning he went to the farm and took some pails of hays. He put them on the carriage.
When he passed Mr. pedro house for help Mr. and Mrs. Pedro were havingf breakfast.

“excuse me, sir. Coulift my carriage/ I got a little acciodent,”david said.
Mr. pedro glanced the carriage throught the door and said, “OK, no problem. But have a seat and have some porridge. We can fix it leter.
“But my grandfather wiil be angry,”he saud
“don’t worry about your grandfather,”Mr.pedro said
“Do you think so madam?” David said doubtfully.
“Of course, young man,”Mrs. Pedro said and took him a bowl of porridge.
David ate it up.
After having a nice breakfast, mr. pedro stood up and took some tool to lift the carriage.
“Well david, we can fix the carriage now. Don’t worry about your grandfather.
“Is he at home now?”Mr. pedro asked.
“No he is under yhe carriage!” David answered.
Mr.pedro was shocked to see an old man lying under the hays.

Kakek atau bubur

David tinggal dengan kakeknya di sebuah desa kecil. Dia tidak pintar tapi ia jujur dan patuh juga. Dia selalu menuruti apapun kakeknya padanya. Suatu hari Minggu pagi ia pergi ke ladang dan mengambil beberapa ember dari jerami. Dia menempatkan mereka di kereta.

Ketika ia melewati rumah Pak pedro bantuan Bapak dan Ibu Pedro adalah sarapan havingf.

"Maafkan saya, Sir. Coulift kereta saya / aku punya acciodent sedikit, "kata david.

pedro Mr melirik kereta pikiran pintu dan berkata, "Oke, tidak ada masalah. Tetapi memiliki kursi dan memiliki beberapa bubur. Kita bisa memperbaikinya leter.

            "Tapi misi maka kakek saya akan marah," saud dia

             "Jangan khawatir tentang kakek Anda," kata Mr.pedro

             "Menurutmu begitu Madam?" Kata David ragu-ragu.

             "Tentu saja, anak muda," Mrs Pedro kata dan membawanya semangkuk bubur.

            David memakannya sampai habis.

            Setelah sarapan enak, mr. pedro berdiri dan mengambil beberapa alat untuk mengangkat kereta.

"Yah david, kita bisa memperbaiki kereta sekarang. Jangan khawatir tentang kakek Anda.

            "Apakah dia di rumah sekarang?" Mr pedro bertanya.

             "Tidak ia berada di bawah yhe kereta!" Jawab David.

            Mr.pedro terkejut melihat seorang pria tua berbaring di bawah jerami.

source:c’ns cool n smart

vol:6

number;45

date:august-september 2007

By: SEPTIAN XI IS 2 on March 11, 2009
at 8:06 am

101.                      ANGRY LETTER

Harry was very angry with his girlfriend sally.he didn’t see her for a couple of days. one morning he asked his bud jim for a sheet of paper.
“what d’ ya want it for?”jim wanted to know.
“i’m gonna write sally the angriest letter she’s ever seen. i’m gonna tell her exactly what a no-good b___she is.”
“aw, come on, you must be kiddin’.you knom you can’t even write.”
“that’s alright, sally can’t read.”

MARAH SURAT

Harry sangat marah dengan sally.he pacarnya tidak melihatnya selama beberapa hari. suatu pagi ia bertanya jim tunas nya untuk selembar kertas.

             "Apa yang d 'inginkan ya itu?" Jim ingin tahu.

             "Aku akan menulis surat pemarah sally dia pernah dilihatnya. Aku akan memberitahu dengan tepat apa yang tidak b___she-baik. "

"Aw, ayolah, Anda harus bercanda 'Anda knom Anda bahkan tidak bisa menulis.."

             "Itu apa, sally tidak bisa membaca."

from : magazine coocn’smart
volume 2 no 10
date : 10 august-sept 2002
page : 17

By: Endah XI IS 3 on March 11, 2009

WORD WISE 2

Jack the cabdriver who went to school only for a short time liked to make his passengers think that he was a college grad. One day a verry talktive passenger was telling him about her son.
“I don’t know what to do with John, ” she said. “Ever since that big bough fell on his head, he’s suffered from a total loss of memory, what do you call it …” Jack nodded in sympaty:”You mean magnesia?”

WISE WORD 2

Jack sopir taksi yang pergi ke sekolah hanya untuk waktu yang singkat suka membuat penumpangnya berpikir bahwa ia adalah seorang lulusan perguruan tinggi. Suatu hari seorang penumpang talktive verry itu bercerita tentang anaknya.

"Saya tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan dengan John," katanya. "Sejak itu dahan besar jatuh di kepalanya, dia menderita kerugian total memori, apa yang Anda menyebutnya ..." Jack mengangguk sympaty: "Maksudmu magnesia?"

Source:
C’NS Magazine
Vol : 2
Num : 10
Date : 10 August _ Sept 2002
Page 17

By: Rahma Wati XI is 3 on March 11, 2009
at 8:36 am

102.                      ASPIRING WRITER

Aspiring writer Sam contacted an agent to get his story published. after a few weeks went by, the agent called him. “I’ve got some bad news and some good news,” the agent said.
“OK,” said Sam, “Give me the good news first.”
“Longman just loves your story,absolutely ate it up.”
“That’s fantastic! I knew I did a good job. now what’s the bad news?”
“Longman is my dog.

Bercita-cita WRITER

Penulis bercita-cita Sam dihubungi agen untuk mendapatkan ceritanya diterbitkan. setelah beberapa minggu berlalu, agen memanggilnya. "Saya punya beberapa kabar buruk dan beberapa kabar baik," kata agen itu.

             "OK," kata Sam, "Beri aku kabar baik pertama."

            "Longman hanya mencintai cerita Anda, benar-benar memakannya sampai habis."

            "Itu fantastis! Aku tahu aku melakukan pekerjaan yang baik. sekarang apa kabar buruk? "

             "Longman adalah anjing saya.

From : magazine Cooc’n smart
volume 2 no.10
Date : 10 august – sept 2002
Page : 17

By: Ida Rusmayanti on March 11, 2009
at 8:44 am

103.                      DELIGHTFUL STORY

At some other time Sam the aspiring writer had sent his story, which he thought was superb,to a number of publishers. unfortunately,none of them shared his opinion. knowing that a lot of famous writers had started out the same way.Sam refused to quit.He thought he just needed to change his tactics.So he singled out one particular publisher who had rejected him and sent hum another copy of the same story. after he had sent the publisher the story three times, Sam finally got a call from the man to come and see him. This was what same had been waiting for.
“ah, Mr. Sam Jones,” said the publisher. “Did you really write this yourself?”
“Oh, yes sir , none other than me.”
“Well, you should be encouraged.”
“Oh, yes sir.” Sam smiled delightedly.
“You should go to Hollywood.”
“You really think so, sir?” Sam was beginning to glow with pleasure.
“You should climb the highest mountain,” the publisher continued.
“Oh, thank you, sir. I didn’t know…”
“And drop off!!”

Menyenangkan CERITA

Pada waktu lain Sam penulis bercita-cita mengirim ceritanya, yang menurutnya adalah luar biasa, untuk sejumlah penerbit. sayangnya, tidak satupun dari mereka berbagi pendapat nya. mengetahui bahwa banyak penulis terkenal sudah mulai keluar way.Sam sama menolak untuk quit.He pikir dia hanya perlu mengubah tactics.So, ia dipilih satu penerbit tertentu yang telah menolak Dia dan dikirim hum salinan lain dari cerita yang sama. setelah ia mengirim penerbit tiga kisah kali, Sam akhirnya mendapat telepon dari orang itu untuk datang dan melihat dia. Ini adalah apa yang sama telah menunggu.

"Ah, Mr Sam Jones," kata penerbit. "Apakah Anda benar-benar menulis ini sendiri?"

            "Oh, ya Pak, tidak lain dari saya."

            "Nah, Anda harus didorong."

             "Oh, ya Pak." Sam tersenyum riang.

            "Anda harus pergi ke Hollywood."

             "Kau benar-benar berpikir begitu, Pak?" Sam mulai bersinar dengan kesenangan.

             "Anda harus mendaki gunung tertinggi," lanjut penerbit.

             "Oh, terima kasih, Pak. Aku tidak tahu ... "

            "Dan drop off!"

from: C’NS Magazine
volume: 2
no:10
date: 10 august – sept 2002
page: 17

By: Eika Prasetya Rini on March 11, 2009
at 9:11 am

104.                      My sweet jenny

I had a beautiful poodle named jenny. Jenny had fluffy white hair. I loved her so much. I always walked her in my neighborhood park. When I came from school one afternoon, I saw her running after a butterfly in one of my neighbors’ garden. I opened my neighbor’s fence, walked in to the garden and called her name. the dog ran to me. I picked her up and carried her out of the garden. suddenly a woman shouted from inside the house. “dog kidnapper!” luckily I had enough sense not to run away. Instead, I stood still and tired to explain the situation to her. People started to crowd round us. My explanation seemed to fall on deaf ears. The woman tried to snatch jenny away from me. During the commotion, I heard my mom shoting my name from among the crowd. ” enggelina…. is that you?” my mom finally managed to push herself to the front and face my uypset neighbor, and said ,”I’m sorry ma’am. My daughter made a mistake. Please forgive her.” And then she turned to the crown, explaining,”my daughter kept a poodle just like this one at home.” And finnaly she looked at me and dternly said ,”jenny’s at home snoring, you girl!” I turned red with embarrassment as my mom led me out of the crown.

Saya manis jenny

Aku punya anjing pudel cantik bernama jenny. Jenny memiliki rambut putih halus. Saya sangat mencintai dia. Aku selalu berjalan di taman lingkungan saya. Ketika saya datang dari sekolah pada suatu siang, aku melihatnya berlari setelah kupu-kupu di salah satu kebun tetangga saya '. Aku membuka pagar tetangga saya, masuk ke kebun dan memanggil namanya. anjing berlari ke saya. Aku mengangkatnya dan membawanya keluar dari kebun. tiba-tiba seorang wanita berteriak dari dalam rumah. "Penculik anjing!" Untunglah aku punya akal tidak cukup untuk melarikan diri. Sebaliknya, aku berdiri diam dan lelah untuk menjelaskan situasi itu padanya. Orang-orang mulai kerumunan di sekitar kita. Penjelasan saya tampaknya jatuh di telinga tuli. Wanita itu mencoba merebut jenny dariku. Selama keributan itu, aku mendengar ibuku shoting namaku dari antara orang banyak. "Enggelina .... adalah bahwa Anda? "ibu saya akhirnya berhasil mendorong dirinya ke depan dan menghadapi tetangga uypset saya, dan berkata," Aku Bu maaf. Putri saya melakukan kesalahan. Silakan memaafkannya. "Dan kemudian ia berpaling ke mahkota, menjelaskan," putri saya terus pudel hanya seperti ini di rumah "Dan Akhirnya dia menatapku dan dternly berkata,". Jenny di rumah mendengkur, kau gadis! "Aku berubah merah karena malu sebagai ibuku membawaku keluar dari mahkota.

Source
Magazine : C’ns
Vol : 6
Number : 46
Date : march 2007

By: ade nugraha_XI ips 2 on March 11, 2009
at 9:14 am

105. A DOLLAR PER POINT

one day, a professor is giving his students a big test. he hands out the test papers and goes back to his desk and waits.
when tilme is up, all the students hand the tests back in, the professor notices that one of the students has attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying , “a dollar per point.”
at the next class the professor hands the graded tests back out. this student gets back hils test, his test grade, and $64 change.

Sebuah DOLAR PER TITIK

suatu hari, seorang profesor memberikan murid-muridnya ujian besar. dia tangan keluar kertas-kertas tes dan kembali ke meja dan menunggu.

ketika tilme sudah habis, semua pihak siswa tes kembali, profesor pemberitahuan bahwa salah satu siswa melampirkan uang $ 100 untuk menguji nya dengan catatan yang mengatakan, "satu dolar per titik."

di kelas berikutnya profesor tangan tes dinilai kembali. mahasiswa ini akan kembali uji hils, kelas uji, dan perubahan $ 64.

magazine : cns cool and smart
vol : 6
number : 42
date : august – september 2006

By: WAHYU HIDAYAT XI IS 2 on March 11, 2009
at 12:21 pm

106. Never Count The Last One

A merchant,along with his little daughter,entered a bank and then presented a check for $50 to the cashier.
“And how would you like that?”asked the cashier.
“I’d like ten five-dollar bills,please.”
The cashier gave him the five-dollar bills,and he began to count them.”One,two,three,four,five,six,eight,nine….”Then he stuffed them in his pocket and went away.His daughter immediately exclaimed:”But you only counted nine bills!”
“Psst.Never count the last one.there might be another one underneath,”whispered the merchant.

Jangan Count The One Terakhir

pedagang A, bersama dengan putri kecilnya, memasuki sebuah bank dan kemudian disajikan cek sebesar $ 50 sampai kasir.

             "Dan bagaimana kau seperti itu?" Tanya kasir.

             "Saya ingin tagihan 1005-dolar, silakan."

             Kasir memberinya uang kertas lima dolar, dan ia mulai menghitung mereka "Satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam, delapan, sembilan ....". Lalu ia memasukkan mereka dalam saku dan segera pergi putri away.His berseru: "Tapi kau hanya dihitung sembilan tagihan!"

"Psst.Never menghitung one.there terakhir mungkin satu lagi di bawahnya," bisik pedagang.

Source
Magazine:Contact
Volume : 7
Number :40
Date :November-Desember 1999

By: NURSINTA DEDY.S XI IS 2 on March 11, 2009
at 12:23 pm

107. The Pessimist

Jim is really fond of duck hunting. During a holiday he went to a market for a new dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could walk on water to retrieve a duck.

Surprised by his finding, he decided to tell his friend, a pessimist who always refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him, the hunter hought. Jim invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by he shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the duck, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long: each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home Jim asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”

Yang pesimis

Jim benar-benar menyukai berburu itik. Selama liburan dia pergi ke pasar untuk anjing baru. pencarian-Nya berakhir ketika ia menemukan seekor anjing yang dapat berjalan di atas air untuk mengambil bebek.

Terkejut dengan mencari, ia memutuskan untuk memberitahu temannya, seorang pesimis yang selalu menolak untuk menjadi terkesan dengan apa pun. Ini, tentu, akan terkesan dia, hought pemburu. Jim mengundangnya untuk berburu dengan dia dan anjing barunya.

Ketika mereka menunggu dengan dia pantai, kawanan itik terbang oleh. Mereka dipecat, dan bebek jatuh. Anjing menanggapi dan melompat ke dalam air. Anjing itu, bagaimanapun, tidak tenggelam tetapi berjalan menyeberangi air untuk mengambil bebek, tidak pernah mendapatkan lebih dari kaki basah-nya. Ini terus sepanjang hari: setiap kali bebek jatuh, anjing itu berjalan di permukaan air untuk mengambilnya.

pesimis diperhatikan, melihat semuanya, tetapi tidak mengatakan sepatah kata pun. Pada drive Jim rumah bertanya kepada sahabatnya, "Apakah Anda melihat sesuatu yang aneh tentang anjing baru saya?"

             "Saya yakin tidak," jawab pesimis. "Dia tidak bisa berenang."

Source : C’nS magazine

VOL 4 NO.26 AUGUST – Sept 2004

By: M. Zikri Alviani on March 12, 2009
at 7:26 am

108.  

SORRY,BOSS!!
one day,i dropped by at my friends house.after we talk for about an hour,she went out to buy as lunch.before she left,i borrowed her nokia cell phone and read her funny smses.i had never use a nokia cell phone before and my friend used english as the language on the cell,a language that i wasn’t too good at.i got a bit confused.when she came back,there were about 20 incoming SMSes.surprised,she read all of them.most of them were short message stating how funny the joke was.we were confused.she ask me if i had sent any SMSes to her friends.i shrugged and i really didn’t know what i had done with her cell phone.a new short text message came in and my friend was completely shocked.it was from her boss.he wrote;”bot funny young lady,i’m your boss,remember?” she contacted him immediately,he was very upset.he said it was very impolite to send him suck sms.she ask him what kind of sms had been sent from her cell phone.he read it to her;”one day,a lion,a tiger and a fox are having a meeting ib a jungle.but the meeting has been postponed because they have been waiting for the monkey who is reading this sms.”my friends face turn red.i was so ashamed.she made me apologize to her boss that very moment on the cellphone.the following week,when my friend and i attended a book fair,we meet her boss.she introduce me to him.the boss then looked me and said,”so,this is queen of the jungle who sent me the sms.how was the meeting?”my frieng couldn’t help laughing.me?i felt like disappearing.

MAAF, BOSS!

    suatu hari, saya mampir di teman saya house.after kita berbicara selama sekitar satu jam, ia keluar untuk membeli sebagai lunch.before dia pergi, saya meminjam telepon selulernya nokia dan membaca smses.i lucu nya belum pernah menggunakan sel nokia telepon sebelum dan teman saya menggunakan bahasa inggris sebagai bahasa pada sel, bahasa yang saya tidak terlalu bagus at.i mendapat sedikit confused.when dia datang kembali, ada sekitar 20 SMSes.surprised masuk, dia membaca semuanya kebanyakan dari mereka. adalah pesan singkat yang menyatakan bagaimana lucu was.we lelucon yang confused.she bertanya kepada saya jika saya telah mengirimkan SMS ke friends.i apapun dia mengangkat bahu dan saya benar-benar tidak tahu apa yang saya lakukan dengan selulernya phone.a pesan teks baru singkat datang dan teman saya benar-benar shocked.it berasal dari boss.he dia menulis; "? bot wanita muda yang lucu, aku bos Anda, ingat" menghubungi dia dia langsung, dia sangat upset.he mengatakan sangat tidak sopan untuk mengirim dia mengisap sms.she menanyakan apa sms telah dikirim dari phone.he selnya membacanya kepadanya; "suatu hari, singa, harimau dan rubah yang memiliki ib pertemuan hutan. namun pertemuan tersebut telah ditunda karena mereka telah menunggu monyet yang membaca ini sms "teman-teman saya wajah red.i berubah begitu ashamed.she membuat saya meminta maaf kepada bosnya. yang saat itu di minggu berikutnya cellphone.the, ketika teman saya dan saya menghadiri pameran buku, kita bertemu boss.she dia memperkenalkan saya ke him.the bos lalu memandang saya dan berkata, "jadi, ini adalah ratu dari hutan yang mengutus Aku sms.how itu pertemuan?" frieng saya tidak bisa membantu laughing.me? saya merasa seperti menghilang

By: irma yunita on March 12, 2009
at 9:04 am

109. Shown-up in the supermarket

Dylan is in a queue at te supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a bid “hello”.
He is rather taken aback that suck a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, Dylan cant place where he mightfrom, so he says ,”sorry,do you know me?”
She replies,”I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children”
Dylans mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, “Blimey!” he says, “Did we meet on franks stag do in Newport? Dylan continued, “When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.’
No,”she replies,’I am your sons English teacher”
Names have been changedto protect our friend.

Tampil-up di supermarket

Dylan adalah dalam antrian di supermarket te ketika ia melihat bahwa agak dishy pirang belakangnya baru saja mengangkat tangannya dan memberinya tawaran "halo".

Dia agak terkejut yang menghisap tampan yang akan melambaikan tangan kepadanya, dan meskipun wajahnya familier, cant Dylan tempat di mana dia mightfrom, sehingga ia berkata, "maaf, kau kenal aku?"

Dia menjawab, "Aku mungkin salah, tapi saya pikir Anda mungkin ayah dari salah satu anak saya"

pikiran Dylans pucuk kembali ke satu-satunya saat dia telah tidak setia, "Astaga!" katanya, "Apakah kita bertemu pada Frank rusa lakukan di Newport? Dylan melanjutkan, "Ketika aku keluar dari kantor polisi dan kembali ke kamar hotel, Anda sudah pergi."

             Tidak, "dia menjawab," Aku anakmu guru bahasa Inggris "

             Nama telah changedto melindungi teman kita.

sourch : magazine C n S cool and smart

volume :46

no:28 august-sept 2006

By: abdul kholid .R on March 12, 2009
at 12:06 pm

110. Stop WAteRIng, PLEASe

little five year old johnny was in the bath tub, and his mam was washing his hair. se said him,” wow your hair is growingso fast ! tou need a haircut again.”
little johnny replid, “maybe you should stop watering it so much.”

            Pengairan Berhenti, PLEASE

sedikit lima tahun johnny berusia di bak mandi, dan mam-nya sedang mencuci rambutnya. se katanya, "wow rambut Anda cepat growingso! tou perlu potong rambut lagi. "

            johnny kecil replid, "mungkin Anda harus berhenti penyiraman begitu banyak."

Sourc : C’nS megazine
vol : 4
no : 27 october-novenber 2004

By: Fauziah chyntia Utami XI SoCial II on March 12, 2009
at 2:43 pm

111.  

Mommy Ate it

For week, a six year old boy kept telling his first grade teacher abaut a baby brother or sister that was expected in his house.
one day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unbornchild. the six year old was obviosly impressed, but made no comment. furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about coming event.
the teacher finaly sat the boy on her lap and said, “tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home ? ” tommy burst into tears and confessed,”I think mommy ate it!”.

Mommy Makan itu

Selama seminggu, satu tahun enam anak berusia terus mengatakan pertama gurunya abaut kelas seorang saudara atau saudari bayi yang diharapkan di rumahnya.

suatu hari ibu anak diperbolehkan untuk merasakan gerakan unbornchild tersebut. tahun enam tua itu obviosly terkesan, tetapi tidak berkomentar. Selanjutnya, ia berhenti menceritakan gurunya tentang datang acara.

guru akhirnya anak duduk di pangkuannya dan berkata, "tommy, apa pun yang telah terjadi dengan yang adik atau kakak anda sedang menunggu di rumah? "Meledak tommy menangis dan mengaku," Saya pikir mama memakannya! ".

Source : C’nS megazine
vol : 4
no : 27 october-novenber 2004

By: Nur Laela XI SoCial II on March 12, 2009
at 2:57 pm

112. Investigating a Terrible Accident

In a terrible bus accident there were no survivors except a monkey. Since there were no witneses, the police could not determine the cause of the accident. At last, they turned to the monkey. Because the monkey seemed able to respond with gestures, the police officer decided to interrogate it.
“What were the people doing on the bus?” The monkey shakes his had in a disapproving manner and starts dancing around, meaning the people were dancing and having fun.
“OK, but what else were they doing?” The monkey takes his hand to his mouth as if holding a bottle. “Oh! They were drinking, huh?! OK, were they doing anyting else?” The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, mimicking singing.
The chief loses his patience, “If they were having such a great time, who was driving the bus then?” The monkey cheerfully swings his arms around as if operating a steering wheel.

Investigasi Kecelakaan Terrible

Dalam sebuah kecelakaan bus mengerikan tidak ada yang selamat kecuali monyet. Karena tidak ada witneses, polisi tidak dapat menentukan penyebab kecelakaan itu. Akhirnya, mereka menoleh ke monyet. Karena monyet itu sepertinya mampu merespon dengan gerak tubuh, polisi memutuskan untuk menginterogasi itu.

"Apa yang adalah orang-orang lakukan di bus?" Getar Monyet temannya dengan cara yang tidak setuju dan mulai menari di sekitar, yang berarti orang-orang menari dan bersenang-senang.

"OK, tapi apa lagi yang mereka lakukan?" Mengambil Monyet tangannya ke mulutnya seolah-olah memegang botol. "Oh! Mereka minum, ya?! OK, yang mereka lakukan anyting lain? "Mengangguk Monyet kepalanya dan mulutnya bergerak maju mundur, menirukan menyanyi.

Chief kehilangan kesabaran, "Jika mereka memiliki waktu yang hebat, yang mengemudikan bus kemudian?" Monyet riang ayunan lengannya sekitar seolah-olah operasi roda kemudi.

Source : C n S
Volume 4 No. 55 Maret 2008

By: achmadhasansugandi XI IS 1 on March 13, 2009
at 8:02 am

113. MOUNTAIN TOUR GUIDE

Funny Stories
From : CnS magazine
Years : 2005 march
Vol : 4 No. 30

Swiss mountain guide who always to the same trails answering cant get question ofer and ofer. One day on English tourist giving guide exspecialy hard time sily question. And travels says
“ How the these rock get the here!
“ Sirr “ say that guide.
I were borght down by glacier! The peaeers up mountain and travels says I don’t see any gleicer!
Sirr. Say that guide I gues it has gone back fon more rocks!

            WISATA GUNUNG PETUNJUK

Pedoman pegunungan Swiss yang selalu ke jalan yang sama menjawab cant mendapatkan pertanyaan dan ofer ofer. Suatu hari pada wisatawan Inggris memberikan panduan exspecialy sulit pertanyaan sily. Dan perjalanan mengatakan

            "Bagaimana batu ini sampai di sini!

            "Sirr" mengatakan panduan itu.

    Aku borght turun gletser! The peaeers atas gunung dan perjalanan mengatakan saya tidak melihat gleicer apapun!

            Sirr. Katakanlah bahwa panduan saya gues itu telah kembali fon lebih batu!

By: togar septian XI IS 1 on March 13, 2009
at 8:34 am

114. Medical Problem
     An old woman came into her doctor’s office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. “I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they’re soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I’ve been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?”

“Here’s a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week.”

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson’s office. “Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I’m doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Calm down, Mrs. Harris,” said the doctor soothingly. “Now that we’ve fixed your sinuses, we’ll work on your hearing!!!”

Masalah Medis

Seorang wanita tua datang ke kantor dokter dan mengaku masalah memalukan. "Saya melakukan itu semua waktu, Dokter Johnson, tapi mereka tanpa suara, dan mereka tidak bau. Bahkan, karena saya sudah di sini, saya melakukannya tidak kurang dari dua puluh kali. Apa yang bisa saya lakukan? "

"Berikut adalah resep, Mrs Harris. Ambil pil ini tiga kali sehari selama tujuh hari dan kembali dan melihat aku dalam seminggu. "

Minggu depan sebuah Mrs marah Harris bergegas ke kantor Dr Johnson. "Dokter, saya tidak tahu apa yang ada di pil, tapi masalahnya adalah lebih buruk! Aku melakukannya hanya sebagai banyak, tapi sekarang baunya mengerikan! Apa yang harus Anda katakan untuk diri sendiri? "

"Tenang, Mrs Harris," kata dokter menenangkan. "Sekarang kita sudah tetap sinus Anda, kami akan bekerja pada pendengaran Anda!"

By: welly johan XI is1 on March 13, 2009
at 8:46 am

115. Winning a nobel prize

Funny Story
From: C.N.S Magazine
Vol: 4 No. 30
Years: 2005 February – March

a man is driving down a country road when he spot a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. he pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. the man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Um…excuse me mister, but what are you doing?” The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a nobel prize.” “How?” asks the man , puzzled. “Well, I heard they give a nobel prize… to people who are out standing in their field.”

Memenangkan hadiah nobel

seorang pria mengendarai mobil di jalan negara ketika ia melihat seorang petani berdiri di tengah lapangan rumput besar. ia menarik mobil ke sisi jalan dan pemberitahuan bahwa petani hanya berdiri di sana, melakukan apa-apa, melihat apa-apa. pria keluar dari mobil, berjalan sepanjang jalan keluar untuk petani dan meminta dia, "Um ... maaf mister, tapi apa yang kamu lakukan?" petani menjawab, "Aku berusaha untuk memenangkan hadiah nobel." "Bagaimana?" tanya orang itu, bingung. "Yah, aku dengar mereka memberikan hadiah nobel ... untuk orang-orang yang berada di luar berdiri di bidang mereka."

By: Josua Leonardo XI IS 1 on March 13, 2009
at 8:55 am

116. SOMETHING REALLY CHEAP

After being away on business for a week before christmas, tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “how about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“that’s a bit too much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom mumbled.
growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
Tom grew agitated,”what i mean,” he said,” is i’d like to see something real cheap.
so the clerk handed him a mirror.

SESUATU BENAR-BENAR MURAH

Setelah pergi untuk urusan bisnis selama seminggu sebelum natal, tom pikir akan menyenangkan untuk membawa istri hadiah kecil. "Bagaimana tentang parfum beberapa?" Tanyanya petugas kosmetik. Dia menunjukkan dia sebotol seharga $ 50.

"Itu agak terlalu banyak," kata Tom, jadi dia kembali dengan botol yang lebih kecil untuk $ 30.

              "Itu masih cukup sedikit," gumam Tom.

              tumbuh jijik, petugas membawa keluar botol $ 15 kecil.

             Tom tumbuh gelisah, "apa yang saya maksud," katanya, "adalah aku ingin melihat murah sesuatu yang nyata.

              sehingga si petugas memberinya cermin.

Source: C’n's Magazine Volume 3 no 21 2004

By: Harrio Dwi.L XIis3 on March 13, 2009
at 9:15 am

117. Blessing in disguise

my driver’s license expired over a year ago. i knew i would be fined if i decided to renew it. that’s why I felt nervous when I tired to do just that at regional police administration department. When a police officer sitting before a computer ordered me to sit on a stool opposite him, I did so gingerly. I didn’t know that the administration system was already computerized. Unaware that the computer’s camera had already to taken my picture, i continued to gaze before me. then the officer said to me “thumb please.” Thinking that i needed to be photographed in that awkward pose, i held up my right thumb. Suddenly the room thundered with laughter. “no, i mean press your right thumb on this glass plate here. We need to take your thumb print,”explained the officer. Feeling stupid and embrrassed, i put my thumb lightly against a small glass plate next to the computer. Then the officer told me that the plate was a kind of electronic scanner that would send an image of my thumb print to the computer. The best thing about all this was: i change the dull atmosphere in the room into one full cheer. and……. because of this the police officer filled to notice that my driver’s license was long overdue. talking about sheer luck!.

             Blessing in disguise

SIM saya kadaluarsa lebih dari setahun yang lalu. saya tahu saya akan didenda jika saya memutuskan untuk memperbaruinya. itu sebabnya aku merasa gugup ketika aku lelah untuk melakukan hal itu pada bagian administrasi kepolisian daerah. Ketika seorang polisi duduk di depan komputer memerintahkan saya untuk duduk di kursi depannya, saya melakukannya hati-hati. Aku tidak tahu bahwa sistem administrasi sudah komputerisasi. Tidak menyadari bahwa kamera komputer sudah diambil dengan foto saya, saya terus menatap sebelum aku. kemudian petugas itu berkata kepada saya "thumb silakan." Berpikir bahwa saya perlu difoto dalam pose aneh, saya mengacungkan ibu jari kanan saya. Tiba-tiba ruangan mengguntur dengan tawa. "Tidak ada, i mean tekan jempol kanan Anda pada piring kaca di sini. Kita perlu mengambil mencetak ibu jari Anda, "jelas petugas. Merasa bodoh dan embrrassed, saya meletakkan ibu jari saya ringan terhadap sebuah piring kaca kecil di sebelah komputer. Kemudian petugas mengatakan kepada saya bahwa piring itu semacam scanner elektronik yang akan mengirim foto cetak ibu saya ke komputer. Hal terbaik tentang semua ini: saya mengubah suasana membosankan dalam ruangan menjadi satu bersorak penuh. dan ... .... karena ini polisi penuh untuk melihat bahwa SIM saya sudah lama terlambat. berbicara tentang keberuntungan!

Source: C’nS magazine volume 4 no. 30 2005

By: Ivan saputra wijaya XI.IS.1 on March 13, 2009
at 9:41 am

118. THE ROAD PAINTER

A man was given the job of panting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
on his first day he painted six miles,the next day three miles,the following day less that a miles .
then the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day.
he replied,” i jusy can’t do any better.ecah day i keep getting farther away from the paint can

Pelukis JALAN

            Seorang pria diberi tugas terengah-engah garis putih di tengah jalan raya.

            pada hari pertama ia melukis enam mil, pada hari berikutnya tiga mil, pada hari berikutnya kurang dari satu mil.

            kemudian mandor bertanya orang itu mengapa ia terus melukis kurang setiap hari.

            dia menjawab, "Saya jusy tidak bisa melakukan apapun hari better.ecah saya terus mendapatkan lebih jauh dari cat dapat

source :magazine C’n s
years 2006,march
vol 5,no.39

By: NOVIA INDRIANI XI SOC 1 on March 13, 2009
at 11:01 am

119. WRONG CAR

my cousin and i went to shopping mall in their car. i was tired after school and was feeling a bit stick. as we were coming out of the shopping mall, i remembered that i needed a new correction pen. i told my cousins to wait for me in the car, and i went back to buy the correction pen. coming out of the mall. i went directly to my cousin’s car and grabbed the door handle. to my surprise, it didn’t open. as i tried again, the window suddenly slid down and a face stared at me from inside the car. it wasn’t any of my cousin’s faces. then i heard voices shouting not far away. my cousins’ voices! oh, my god! my face turned red. i had tried to get into the wrong car. i apologize and hurried to my cousins’ car. they all teased me. i was so mortified…

SALAH MOBIL

sepupu saya dan saya pergi ke pusat perbelanjaan di dalam mobil mereka. saya sedang lelah setelah sekolah dan merasa sedikit tongkat. saat kami keluar dari pusat perbelanjaan, saya teringat bahwa saya membutuhkan pena koreksi baru. i mengatakan sepupu saya untuk menunggu saya di dalam mobil, dan saya kembali untuk membeli pena koreksi. keluar dari mal. saya pergi langsung ke mobil sepupu saya dan meraih gagang pintu. mengherankan saya, itu tidak terbuka. sebagai i mencoba lagi, jendela tiba-tiba meluncur ke bawah dan wajah menatapku dari dalam mobil. itu bukan salah satu dari wajah sepupu saya. kemudian saya mendengar suara-suara teriakan tidak jauh. sepupu saya suara! oh, Tuhan! wajahku berubah merah. saya harus mencoba untuk masuk ke mobil yang salah. saya minta maaf dan bergegas ke mobil sepupu saya. mereka semua menggoda saya. saya sangat malu ...

magazine : C’nS
volume : 4
no. 30
february-march 2005

By: eka riani s xI soc 1 on March 13, 2009
at 11:01 am

120. Dad won’t like it
     Afarm boy accidentally overtuns his wagonload of wheat on the road.The farmer living nearby comes to investigate.”hey,anton,”he call out,”forget your troubles for a while.come and have dinnr with us.then i”ll help you with wagon.”
     “that’s very nice of you,”anton answer,”but i don’t think dad would like me to.”"aw, come on ,son!”the farmer insist.”well , oke “the boy finally agress,”but dad won’t like it.”
     after a hearty dinner,anton thanks the host.” i fell a lot better now,but i know dad’s going to to be real upset,”"don’t be silly!’say the neighbor.”by the way , where is he?”
     “under the wagon,”replies anton.

Ayah tidak akan menyukainya

anak Afarm sengaja overtuns wagonload tentang gandum pada hidup petani road.The terdekat datang untuk menyelidiki "hey, anton,". dia memanggil, "melupakan masalah Anda untuk dinnr while.come dan mempunyai us.then i" akan membantu Anda dengan gerobak. "

", Itu sangat bagus dari Anda," anton menjawab, "tetapi saya tidak berpikir ayah ingin saya." "Aw, ayolah, Nak!" Bersikeras petani. "Baik, oke" anak itu akhirnya agress, "tapi Ayah tidak akan menyukainya. "

setelah makan malam hangat, anton terima kasih host. "jatuh aku jauh lebih baik sekarang, tapi saya tahu ayah akan menjadi nyata marah," "jangan konyol 'mengatakan tetangga.!" dengan cara, di mana dia ? "

    "Bawah gerobak," jawab anton.

By: linda x1.1s.1 on March 13, 2009
at 12:07 pm

121. The Dog that takes you into the Bar

Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they say to each other “I’m thirsty.” They see a nearby bar and walk up to it.

Unfortunately, there was a sign on the door that said NO DOGS. They thought for awhile to try to figure out what they should do with no luck. Suddenly, the man with the doberman said, “I have an idea! Do what I do.”

The man put on his sunglasses, walked up to the door and tried to get in but a big muscular man stopped him. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked the big man. “This is my seeing-eye dog.” said the man hoping for good feedback. “Alrighty mister, go right in.” said the big man. The doberman man walked in.

The second man slipped his sunglasses on and did the same as the first man. “Where are you going?” asked the big man. “I’m going into the bar, this is my seeing-eye dog.” he said. “A chihuahua?” asked the big man with suspicion. The other man, playing his part yelled, “They gave me a chihuahua!?”

Dog yang akan membawa Anda ke dalam Bar

Dua orang berjalan anjing mereka (a Doberman dan chihuahua a) ketika mereka berkata kepada satu sama lain "Aku haus." Melihat Mereka bar terdekat dan berjalan ke sana.

Sayangnya, ada tanda di pintu yang mengatakan NO ANJING. Mereka berpikir untuk sementara untuk mencoba mencari tahu apa yang harus mereka lakukan tidak berhasil. Tiba-tiba, pria dengan Doberman itu berkata, "Aku punya ide! Lakukan apa yang saya lakukan. "

Orang memakai kacamata hitamnya, berjalan ke pintu dan mencoba masuk, tetapi seorang pria berotot besar menghentikannya. "Di mana kau pikir kau akan pergi?" Tanya pria besar. "Ini adalah melihat-mata anjing saya." Kata pria itu berharap untuk umpan balik yang baik. "Alrighty mister, ke kanan masuk" kata pria besar. Orang Doberman melangkah masuk

Orang kedua menyelipkan kacamata di atas dan melakukan hal yang sama sebagai manusia pertama. "Mau ke mana?" Tanya pria besar. "Aku pergi ke bar, ini adalah melihat-mata anjing saya." Katanya. "Chihuahua A?" Tanya pria besar dengan kecurigaan. Orang lain, memainkan perannya berteriak, "Mereka memberi saya sebuah chihuahua!?"

Source : C’NS MEGAZINE
VOL 15 NO 1 MARCH 2008

By: ady permana XI IS 3 on March 13, 2009
at 12:11 pm

122. Pull Out the Tongue

A man walks into a shoe store , and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well , they fell a bit tight,” replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out, “the clerk says (he was talking about the tongue of the shoes).

“Well, theyth sthill feelt a bith tight. “(The man pulls out his own tongue while answering).

Tarik Out Lidah yang

Seorang pria masuk ke sebuah toko sepatu, dan mencoba pada sepasang sepatu. "Bagaimana mereka merasa?" Meminta petugas penjualan. "Yah, mereka jatuh agak ketat," jawab orang itu. Asisten segera membungkuk dan memiliki tampilan di sepatu dan di kaki orang itu. "Coba menarik lidah keluar," kata si petugas (dia berbicara tentang lidah sepatu).

"Yah, sthill theyth feelt Bith ketat. "(Orang itu menarik keluar lidah sendiri saat menjawab).

Source : C’N S Magazine
Volume 1 No. 4 March , 12 , 2001

By: Muhammad Rocmadonny XI IS 3 on March 13, 2009
at 12:23 pm

123. BEST TIME TO PLOUG THE LAND

One day car of husband,and wife get’s down of hall.and than husband look’s young farmer.. husband come to farmer and talk to him. husband said “I will give you 50$ to get out my car from hall”. farmer said “OK”..When the car get out from hall. farmer tells husband this the 10 year, car I ve help out of mud today…

WAKTU TERBAIK UNTUK PLOUG ATAS TANAH

Suatu hari mobil suami, dan istri mendapatkan's down hall.and dari petani muda suami terlihat's .. suami datang ke petani dan berbicara dengannya. suami berkata, "Aku akan memberikan Anda 50 $ untuk keluar mobil saya dari ruang". petani mengatakan "OK" .. Ketika mobil keluar dari lorong. petani memberitahu suami ini tahun 10, mobil saya telah membantu keluar dari lumpur hari ini ...

Sourc : C’nS megazine
vol : 4
no : 27 october-novenber 2004

By: Nanda Tri Sadewo XI.SOC1 on March 13, 2009
at 12:47 pm

124. The Prayer

A mother told young son to go to bed and sure to say his prayers and ask god to make him a good boy.The boy’s father passing by the bedroom,overheard his son praying : “Dear god, please make me a good boy if you can, but if you can’t, don’t worry about it, ’cause I’m having fun the way am.”

            Doa

Seorang ibu mengatakan kepada anak muda untuk pergi ke tempat tidur dan yakin untuk berdoa dan meminta Tuhan untuk membuat dia ayah anak boy.The yang baik lewat kamar tidur, mendengar anaknya berdoa: "Ya Tuhan, silakan membuat saya anak yang baik jika Anda bisa, tapi jika Anda tidak bisa, jangan khawatir tentang hal itu, karena aku senang jalan pagi. "

Sourc : C’nS megazine
vol : 4
no : 27 October-novenber 2004

By: kholifah XI IPS 3 on March 14, 2009
at 8:04 am

125. VALUABLE PAINTINGS

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “i have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “the good news is that a gentleman was curious about yours work of art and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.When I told him it would,he bought all 15 of yours paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,”the artist exclaimed.
“What’s the bad news?”
“The guy was your doctor.”

LUKISAN BERHARGA

Seorang seniman meminta pemilik galeri kalau sudah ada kepentingan dalam lukisannya yang dipamerkan pada waktu itu. "Saya punya kabar baik dan berita buruk," jawab pemilik. "Kabar baiknya adalah bahwa seorang gentleman penasaran tentang pekerjaan Anda seni dan bertanya-tanya apakah itu akan menghargai nilai setelah death.When Anda Saya katakan itu akan, ia membeli semua 15 lukisan Anda."

            "Itu bagus," seru artis.

             "Apa kabar buruk?"

             "Orang itu dokter."

Source : C n’ S magazine
vol :8
No:59 april-may 2008

By: William XI.IS.1 on March 14, 2009
at 12:52 pm

126. Weight Lifting !

The father was doubtful of his son’s suddent interest to become the next Ade Rai. Neverthless, he went with his teenage boy to the weight lifing stotre.
Please, Dad begged the boy. ” i promise I’ll use it every day..”
“I’m not so sure, Danny. You may lose interest in the equipment, ” his father was quick to point out. ” ohh please, please, Dad?”
“besides, its quite expensive, ” the father added.
“I promise, Dad, ” I’ll use it…”
Danny finally won, and his Dad paid for the equipment. at the father was leaving the store, he heared his son call out.. ” what !! You mean I have to carry this stuff to the car?!”

for = C’NS JUNIOR MAGAZINE
edition = 47
vol = 5(agustus 07)
page = 21

Weight Lifting!

Sang ayah meragukan kepentingan mendadak anaknya untuk menjadi Ade Rai berikutnya. Neverthless, ia pergi dengan anak remaja kepada stotre berat lifing.

Tolong, Dad memohon anak itu. "Saya berjanji aku akan menggunakannya setiap hari .."

"Aku tidak begitu yakin, Danny. Anda mungkin kehilangan minat atas peralatan tersebut, "ayahnya cepat tunjukkan. "Ohh please, please, Ayah?"

             "Selain itu, cukup mahal," tambah sang ayah.

             "Aku berjanji, Ayah," Aku akan menggunakannya ... "

             Danny akhirnya menang, dan nya Ayah dibayar untuk peralatan. pada ayah meninggalkan toko, ia mendengar anaknya memanggil .. "Apa! Maksudmu aku harus membawa barang-barang ini ke mobil?! "

              untuk = C'NS MAGAZINE JUNIOR

            edisi = 47

             vol = 5 (agustus 07)

             page = 21

By: noor farida sari. XI sos 3 on March 15, 2009
at 1:08 pm

127. SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE’S TAXI DRIVER

Sir Arthur conan doyle is waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulls up, heputs his suitcase in the front seat and gets in the back. As he is about to tell the taxi-driver where he wants to go, the driver asks him, “wherecan I take you, Mr.Doyle?”
Doyle is flabbergasted. He asks the driver whether he knows him by sight. The driver says, “No,sir, I have never seen you before.” The puzzled Doyle asks him what makes him think that he is conan Doyle. The driver replies, “This morning’s paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduce that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”
Doyle says, “This is a truly amazingf deduction. You are a real-life counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock holmes.”
“there is one other thing,” the drive says.
“what is that?” Doyle asks.
“your name,”the driver replies, “is on the front of suitcase.”

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle'S TAXI DRIVER

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle yang berdiri menunggu di taksi di luar stasiun kereta api di Paris. Ketika taksi menarik Facebook, heputs kopernya di kursi depan dan mendapat di belakang. Saat ia adalah untuk memberitahu sopir taksi di mana ia ingin pergi, sopir meminta dia, "wherecan saya membawa Anda, Mr.Doyle?"

Doyle terperangah. Dia meminta sopir apakah dia tahu dia dengan penglihatan. Pengemudi itu berkata, "Tidak, Sir, saya belum pernah melihat Anda sebelumnya." Doyle yang bingung bertanya kepadanya apa yang membuatnya berpikir bahwa ia adalah Doyle conan. Pengemudi itu menjawab, "Makalah ini pagi punya cerita tentang anda sedang berlibur di Marseilles. Ini adalah perhentian taksi di mana orang-orang yang kembali dari Marseilles selalu datang. warna kulit Anda memberitahu saya Anda telah berlibur. Tinta-spot di jari telunjuk kanan Anda menyarankan kepada saya bahwa Anda adalah seorang penulis. pakaian Anda sangat Inggris, dan bukan Perancis. Menjumlahkan semua potongan informasi, saya menyimpulkan bahwa Anda adalah Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. "

Doyle mengatakan, "Ini adalah benar-benar dikurangi amazingf. Anda adalah kontra kehidupan nyata-sebagian fiksi ciptaan saya, Sherlock Holmes. "

            "Ada satu hal lainnya," kata drive.

            "Apa itu?" Tanya Doyle.

            "Nama Anda," sopir menjawab, "ada di bagian depan koper."

source : CN’S.MAGAZINE
VOL. 7. JUL-AUGUST
PAGE 26

By: aHmAd sIdIk XI IS 3 on March 15, 2009
at 1:30 pm

128. An American in england

An american is on his holiday in england. He asks a porter at the hotel lobby where the elevator is.
The porter looks a bit confused but smiles when he realizies what the man wants.
“you must mean the lift,” he says.
“no,” the american responds.”if I ask for the elevator, I mean the elevator.”
“well,” the porter answer,”over here we call them lifts,”
“now you listen,” the american says rather irritated,”but someone here in england invented the language.”

Seorang Amerika di england

american Sebuah sedang berlibur di england. Dia meminta seorang penjaga pintu di lobi hotel tempat lift ini.

porter tampak agak bingung tapi tersenyum ketika ia realizies apa yang orang itu inginkan.

            "Anda harus berarti mengangkat," katanya.

             "Tidak," american menjawab "jika saya meminta lift, maksudku lift.".

             "Baik," jawaban penjaga, "di sini kita menyebutnya lift,"

            "Sekarang Anda mendengarkan," kata american agak kesal, "tapi seseorang di sini di england menemukan bahasa."

Source : C’nS Magazine
Vol. 8. No.57 July – August 2008

By: FachruL RacHman ( XI IPA) on March 16, 2009
at 12:20 pm

129. STAIRS,FUNNY STORY(FUNNY STUFF CENTRAL)

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. “I will
tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in
the car!”

Tangga, CERITA LUCU (FUNNY STUFF TENGAH)

            Bill, Jim, dan Scott berada di konvensi bersama dan

            berbagi suite besar di atas sebuah pencakar langit 75 cerita.

            Setelah hari yang panjang pertemuan mereka terkejut mendengar bahwa

            lift di hotel mereka rusak dan mereka harus memanjat

            75 penerbangan dari tangga untuk sampai ke kamar mereka. Bill berkata kepada Jim dan

Scott, mari kita istirahat yang monoton ini tugas yang tidak menyenangkan dengan

berkonsentrasi pada sesuatu yang menarik. Aku akan menceritakan lelucon selama 25

            penerbangan, dan Jim bisa menyanyi lagu untuk 25 penerbangan, dan Scott bisa

            menceritakan kisah-kisah sedih sisa jalan. Di lantai 26 Bill

             berhenti menceritakan lelucon dan Jim mulai menyanyi. Di lantai 51

             Jim berhenti bernyanyi dan Scott mulai menceritakan kisah-kisah sedih. "Aku akan

menceritakan kisah saya paling sedih dulu, "kata dia. "Saya meninggalkan kunci kamar di

            mobil! "

SOURCE:MAGAZINE C’N

VOL.10 NO.50 AUGUST 2001

By: SUSI MEILAN KELAS XI.IPS .3 on March 19, 2009
at 8:26 am

130. JUST GRADUATED

Two young men who had just graduated from harvard were all excited and talking efffusively as they gol into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked,”you men Harvard graduates?”
“yes sir! Class of ’94 !” they answered proudly. the cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying,”Class of ’58.”

            Baru saja lulus

Dua orang muda yang baru saja lulus dari harvard semua gembira dan berbicara efffusively saat mereka gol ke dalam taksi di pusat kota Boston. Setelah mendengar mereka selama beberapa menit sopir taksi bertanya, "Anda laki-laki lulusan Harvard?"

"Ya Pak! Class of '94! "Jawab mereka bangga. sopir taksi mengulurkan tangan kembali untuk menjabat tangan mereka, berkata, "Class of '58."

By: andika eka putra XI IS 3 on March 19, 2009
at 12:23 pm

131. TIGHT FIT

Little Billy asked miss laura,his kindergarten teacher,to help put his boots on. it way pretty hard for her to do it. with her pulling and pushing, te boots still didnt want to move. when she finally could make it , little billy said ,”but miss,they are on the wrong feet.”laura looked abd sure enough,they were. it wasnt any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. she managed to keep her cool as they worked to get the boots back on – thi time on the right feet.
billy then announced,”these aren’t my boots.” laura inhaled, bit her lips and said,”why you didnt say so?” once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
he then said, “they are my brother boots.my mom made me wear them. “laura didnt know if she should laugh or cry. she then mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots into his feet again.
when laura finnally managed to put on billy boots, she said, “now where are you mittens?”.
billy said , “i stuffed them in the toes of my boots…”

KETAT FIT

Little Billy tanya miss laura, guru TK nya, untuk membantu meletakkan sepatu di atas. itu cara yang cukup sulit baginya untuk melakukannya. dengan dia menarik dan mendorong, sepatu bot te masih didnt mau pindah. ketika ia akhirnya bisa datang, sedikit billy berkata, "tapi miss, mereka berada di kaki yang salah." laura tampak abd cukup yakin, mereka. itu bukankah lebih mudah menarik sepatu daripada itu menempatkan mereka pada. dia berhasil tetap tenang karena mereka bekerja untuk mendapatkan sepatu kembali pada - waktu thi pada kaki kanan.

billy kemudian mengumumkan, "ini bukan sepatu saya." laura dihirup, menggigit bibirnya dan berkata, "mengapa Anda didnt berkata begitu?" sekali lagi ia berjuang untuk membantu dia menarik sepatu yang tidak pas off.

ia kemudian berkata, "mereka adalah adikku boots.my ibu saya membuat saya memakainya. "Didnt laura tahu apakah ia harus tertawa atau menangis. ia kemudian mengumpulkan sampai kasih karunia untuk menggeluti sepatu ke kaki lagi.

ketika laura finnally berhasil memakai sepatu bot billy, dia berkata, "sekarang di mana kau sarung tangan?".

              billy berkata, "Saya memasukkan mereka di ujung sepatu saya ..."

source :C n S magazine
Volume : 7 No.54

By: SUSI MEILAN_ XI.SOCIAL.3 on March 20, 2009
at 6:37 am

132. _______ASKING FOR a RAISE______

“I have to have a raise, “the man said to his boss. “There are three other companies after me.” “Is thet so?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you? ” “The electric company, the telephone companiy, and the gas company. ”

_______ASKING UNTUK sebuah RAISE______

"Saya harus memiliki kenaikan gaji," kata pria itu kepada atasannya. "Ada tiga perusahaan lain setelah saya." "Apakah utamanya begitu?" Tanya manajer. "Apa perusahaan lain yang setelah Anda? "" Perusahaan listrik, companiy telepon, dan perusahaan gas. "

source :C’nS cool’ n Smart magazine
Volume :3no.24may-june 2004

By: FARIZ FADHZILLA XI IPS 3 on March 20, 2009
at 7:22 am

133. It’s disgusting

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. “I was in that new restaurant across the street,”said one..”it’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white there is no dirt anywhere it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.”
“Please,”said the other roach frowning.”Not white i’m eating!”

Ini menjijikkan

Dua kecoak yang mengunyah sampah di sebuah gang ketika orang terlibat diskusi tentang restoran baru. "Saya berada di bahwa restoran baru di seberang jalan," kata salah .. "itu sangat bersih! Dapur bersih, dan lantai yang berkilauan putih ada kotoran itu ada di mana saja sehingga sanitasi yang bersinar seluruh tempat. "

    "Silakan," kata kecoa lain mengernyit "Bukan putih aku makan!".

source : c’nS
Vol : 3. NO 22 February-March 2004

By: Reza Nurramadhan on March 20, 2009
at 11:48 am

134. Internet Magic

Two teenagers decided to introduce their elderly mother to the magic of the internet.
The first move was to access the popular ask Jeeves website.They told her it could answer any question she had.
The mother was very skeptical until one of the teens said,”It’s true,Mom.
Think of something to ask.”
After about a minute thought,the mother then responded,”How is aunt Helen feeling

Internet Magic

Dua remaja memutuskan untuk memperkenalkan ibu tua mereka ke keajaiban internet.

Langkah pertama adalah untuk mengakses populer bertanya Jeeves website.They bilang itu bisa menjawab pertanyaan dia.

             Sang ibu sangat skeptis sampai salah seorang remaja berkata, "Itu benar, Bu.

            Pikirkan sesuatu untuk bertanya. "

            Setelah sekitar satu berpikir sejenak, ibu itu menjawab, "Bagaimana perasaan bibi Helen

Source : C’nS magazine
Vol: 8
No:62 January-march

By: Sariimaya XI.IS.1 on March 20, 2009
at 12:24 pm

135. DOS that Rusak

At one particular day. Joko telephone of computer store.

Joko : “Mr. my computer destroy.”

Technician : “Its damage what package”

Joko : “Every my computer animate its article ‘DISK OPERATION SYSTEM ERROR’ ”

Technician : “O if that sih its pack destroys package”

Joko : “Whew its pack package [it is true] damage udah are made my child toy package”

Technician : “Package Forgiveness not pack of computer packer but DISK DOS OPERATION SYSTEM”

Joko : ??? ### !!! Directly close phonecall.

DOS yang Rusak

             Pada suatu hari tertentu. Joko telepon toko komputer.

            Joko: "Pak komputer saya menghancurkan. "

             Teknisi: "kerusakan nya apa paket"

Joko: "Setiap komputer saya menghidupkan 'SISTEM OPERASI DISK ERROR" pasal "

            Teknisi: "Ya jika sih yang merusak paket bungkusannya"

Joko: "Wah paket bungkusannya [memang] kerusakan yang udah dibuat paket mainan anak saya"

Teknisi: "Pengampunan Paket tidak pak pembungkus komputer tapi DISK SISTEM OPERASI DOS"

             Joko:??? # # #! Langsung menutup panggilan telepon.

Sent by: Franky di atas Mar 20th, 2009

Source : C’nS magazine
Vol : 6
no : 44